


The Angel and the Barman

by fandomfairytales



Category: Logan Lucky (2017), Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, And A Momma's Boy, Attempt at Humor, Bad Flirting, Clyde Logan is a Cinnamon Roll, Clyde Logan is a Gentleman, Does Clyde/Rey Count as Reylo, Drinks With Dirty Names, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Logan Lucky AU, Mutual Pining, Rey Is Named After Whiskey, Star Wars crossover, Will eventually live up to the E rating, because why not, but cant stop pointing them out, slowish burn, the author has realised how many idioms are hand(s) related
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfairytales/pseuds/fandomfairytales
Summary: Clyde Logan was not a betting man. Well, at least he wasn’t anymore. He figured the day he lost his hand was the day his luck had completely run out; and never mind that Speedway business, he was waiting for that to go horribly wrong from the get-go, Lord help him it almost did, but they got through but not on his luck that was for sure. Still, he had his share and the cops hadn’t come knocking. He was more than happy to go back to his mostly peaceful, lonely life; even if it wasn’t what he really wanted for himself.Clyde ‘Unlucky’ Logan kept his gambling in the family and left it at that…And that was exactly how he ended up making a bet with Jimmy he just knew he’d lose.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 3am and I had a headcannon about Rey coming into Clyde's bar and attempting to flirt with him by ordering extremely suggestive drinks. He thinks theres no alterior motive to her order and just goes with it but it doesnt stop him wishing he could give her exactly what she asks for.

oOo

Clyde Logan was not a betting man.

Well, at least he wasn’t anymore. He figured the day he lost his hand was the day his luck had completely run out; and never mind that Speedway business, he was waiting for that to go horribly wrong from the get-go, Lord help him it almost did, but they got through but not on his luck that was for sure. Still, he had his share and the cops hadn’t come knocking. He was more than happy to go back to his mostly peaceful, lonely life; even if it wasn’t what he really wanted for himself.

Clyde ‘Unlucky’ Logan kept his gambling in the family and left it at that…

And that was exactly how he ended up making a bet with Jimmy he just knew he’d lose.

oOo

It was a slow Tuesday night in the middle of one of the hottest summers on record, Clyde was bored out of his mind and paying more attention to the John Wayne movie on the T.V. than whatever game Jimmy was talking about. Running his hand down his face in an attempt to shake off what felt like a never-ending yawn, he saw the door swing open out of the corner of his eye, heard its tell-tale squeak, the light tinkle of the bell and looked over to see an angel walk into his bar.

He caught the prettiest hazel eyes he had ever seen, and God help him, he was lost. He couldn’t have looked any more like a fool; dropping the glass he’d been holding. It didn’t shatter, it just sort of clattered a bit on the bar top; he was bright red in an instant. 

Sucking in a sharp breath, he turned back to the fellah who had just ordered, trying to remind himself what he was supposed to be getting. But he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she took a seat on her own near the pool tables. She wasn’t wearing anything special, but from where he stood she may as well have been in a ballgown; Well-worn converse led to the rolled cuffs of ripped skinny jeans that were tight enough to suggest muscle tone but not be obscene, the little peeks of tanned skin underneath told him she was a creature of the sun. 

His eyes followed the buttons of her plaid shirt worn over a faded star wars tee; staring at the graphics over her bust, he pulled his gaze up before she noticed where he happened to be looking (women seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to that; in their youth, he and Jimmy had both learned that lesson the hard way), he noted her full pink lips curved in a slight smile, the dusting of freckles over her nose that directed him to high rosy cheeks and shiny chestnut locks tied back into three buns running down the back of her head, only visible when she turned.

Mentally slapping himself, Clyde made himself busy, doing any and everything he could think of to keep himself distracted. That idea was completely thrown out the window when she popped up right in front of him. Well, what did he expect? ‘IT’S A BAR DUMMY’ his inner voice screamed at him.

“What can I getcha Ma’am?”

He surprised himself with how normal he managed to sound, despite having to hold back from calling her any number of pet names; sweetheart was practically hanging on the tip of his tongue.

She looked deep in thought as she made up her mind and he nearly choked when she deadpanned her order.

“I’ll have a screaming orgasm, thanks.”

He did a double take before kicking himself into gear, a shoddy attempt at hiding both his shock and his mirth; grabbing a glass and whatever else he needed, he thanked God for Mellie and her girlfriends or he’d only serve whiskey and beer and probably would have thought she was propositioning him. 

His mind working triple pace, he unpacked her single sentence: first off, her accent, a light British lilt that made tingles shoot down his spine, sweet and unique around these parts. Second: What woman in the history of women has ever managed to keep a straight face ordering a drink like that, even sober!? Third… well, he forgot the third; she was chewing her lip and he completely lost his train of thought. He knew it was stupid to blush, like some starry-eyed teenager, but this girl and her drink order were short circuiting his brain and he didn’t even know her name yet.

Usually he liked to think what a person drank said a lot about the person ordering; but the cocktail he was currently mixing for the enigma in his bar didn’t reveal much more than an obvious sweet tooth and confidence for days to be able to ask the intimidating, one-handed bartender for it with a straight face no less.

Setting the glass in front of her and pouring it out of the shaker, he caught a look from Jimmy he knew was going to mean trouble. He told her what she owed him and used it as an opportunity to get her name.

“I haven’t seen you around before, Miss?”

“Rey, Rey Jameson”

“Like the whiskey? Fancy that; nice t’know you Rey, I’m Clyde Logan; this here’s my brother Jimmy; you need anythin’, you just let us know.”

He offered his hand and she made up for the size difference with one hell of a firm handshake. He stared after her and resisted the urge to look down at his hand as she walked back to her seat, presumably to resume watching the two transients in trucker caps playing pool. Well she wasn’t with them, he knew that for sure; an accent like that stuck out like a sore thumb around here, though it was cliché, he did wonder what a nice girl like her was doing in a bar like his. It was always locals or transients, he found himself vehemently hoping she was the first option.

“Us? I ain't no damn bartender.”

Returning to the present, Clyde rolled his eyes and shook his head, it hadn’t been the ‘us’ part of his introduction bothering him, but of course his brother would pick that to harp on.

“Well, ‘Me’ sounded creepy.” He retorted defensively

“Fair point, considerin’ the way you were eyein’ her”

“I was n- Alright maybe I was…So what?”

“She’s awful pretty Clyde, you shoulda given her that drink on the house.”

“If I did that for every pretty girl who walked in, I wouldn’t have a bar no more.”

“Yeah, but you don’t stare at every pretty girl.”

Flicking the cloth, he was using to wipe down the bar with a loud snap, he hoped it was enough to end the increasingly awkward conversation, he turned around, only to feel his brother’s eyes burning holes in his back. When he finally returned, he was met with mischievous excitement that meant crime or flirting was afoot. 

“Bet I could get a date with her before you do.”

“C’mon Jimmy, that’s a bet you’d win any day of the week.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Stakes?”

“How ‘bout we use it to settle who takes Mellie car shoppin’?”

“I don’t think so. You know I’m gonna lose, it’s hardly fair.”

“Loser does chores?”

“What are we, five?”

“Braggin’ rights and three get outta’ jail frees?”

“Eh, I’ll take it, besides Momma would ‘a boxed our ears for bettin’ money on a lady.”

They shook on it and once Jimmy had turned his attention back to The Duke’s gunfight, he turned his to Rey. The two fellahs in trucker hats were no longer playing each other; Rey was lining up a shot and even from the bar he could see she was going to miss. He tried not to think about the fact that he was at just the right angle to look down her shirt. Clyde wasn’t a pervert, never went out of his way to leer at a lady; but he was only human, so he stole a glance, berated himself and felt genuinely guilty about it before returning his attention to the match.

He’d seen Mellie run the same gambit hundreds of times. Lose once or twice, let the idiots try to teach and smoke them on the next one, double or nothing; And that was exactly what happened, the two men handing over the cash in their wallets with unintelligible grumbles about losing to a woman.

Rey was heading back toward the bar; she would need to wait for a fresh, unsuspecting crowd and he was nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. His brother was right, he didn’t just stare at any girl like some kind of caveman, or like his brother for that matter; there was something about this one. His salvation came unannounced and in the form of said hustling sister. Mellie never entered a room quietly and for once Clyde played right into it, greeting her enthusiastically from behind the bar. 

Jimmy jumped up and crushed their little sister in a bear hug as she tried to fight for the upper hand. Two hands on her shoulders he sat her down, while Clyde grabbed her usual. He watched his sister peek down the bar to look at Rey and after witnessing her abilities, couldn’t stop himself from blurting out that Rey might offer her a challenge as he passed her second obscenely named drink over; it earned him a smile that could have knocked him flat.

He could see the glint of comradery alight in his sister’s eyes as she looped her arm through Rey’s and walked her over to the pool tables. Those two would be painting the town red before night’s end. Mellie always had been the sociable one.

oOo

Rey won best out of three and Mellie looked sufficiently awed in the face of her final trick shot. Time had passed quickly as the girls dragged out each game, preferring to chat and drink and while the hours away. It was close enough to last call and the bar was empty, so he started going through his closing routine, he hadn’t noticed Rey had moved away from his siblings to lean near him.

“So, you’re the quiet one then?”

“I-I guess?”

“Not that it’s a bad thing, I mean, when I’m not drinking I’m the same, but then again I don’t really get out often enough for people to know that about me aaand you didn’t really need to know that… now I’m rambling…you probably think I’m smashed or stupid…”

“Neither actually. You can see straight enough ta beat my sister; clearly not drunk and you’re not stupid, judgin’ by the con you’re runnin’… So, I’d be inclined t’think there’s somethin’ on your mind; everyone asks at some point, no need to feel bad ‘bout bein’ curious.”

She looked anxious, like she was mentally berating herself for speaking freely; It took him a second to realise that maybe she was nervous to talk to him because she’d seen his arm; a lot of people got like that when they didn’t know what to say to him. Still, he figured he better set her mind at ease; it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it. then she spoke and tipped his world upside-down. 

“I’m Sorry, what? You’ve lost me?”

He tried not to look shocked. 'She hadn’t noticed?' The prosthetic arm is a pretty hard thing to overlook. Maybe she was just being nice? Well, better to burst her bubble sooner rather than later if she honestly hadn’t realised. He laid his hand and his prosthetic on the bar and inclined his head waiting for her judgement. 

He felt her touch his hand gently and stopped himself flinching at the gesture. Looking up to meet her eye, he wasn’t looking away because he was ashamed, it was because he wanted to avoid seeing her disgust, for some reason he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing that expression on her; but it wasn’t there. She gave him a crooked smile and he had to wonder if she really was an angel. She didn’t look at him like he was broken or to be pitied. She just saw him.

“I actually didn’t notice, guess that proves my friend Finn was right; I really can see with my eyes shut. I feel like a fucking idiot; foot, meet mouth… But you don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, even if I had noticed I wouldn’t have asked, that’d be rude. I just figured I ought to thank you for being kind to a stranger. I know it’s your job to be hospitable, but you’ve singlehandedly turned my night around; so, cheers.”

A split second later she was slapping a hand over her mouth, looking horrified before apologising profusely. It was his turn to be confused as she fussed. He started to think back and the second he repeated her last sentence and truly heard what she had said; he burst out laughing. She looked horrified and he just laughed harder, He buried his face in the crook of his elbow, his chin resting on the bar as he tried to smother the sound of it. 

She was staring at him wide-eyed, clearly unable to believe he was laughing about her obvious faux pas. He was laughing so hard Jimmy and Mellie had both come over to investigate and he was honestly so consumed by it he couldn’t speak, tears were running down his face and Lord he hadn’t felt this good in years. His lack of air and speech didn’t matter, Rey supplied his siblings with answers and before long all three Logans were all laughing like a pack of hyenas. Parroting her sentence between breaths before breaking down again.

Every time he chanced a look at her, her expression changed; horror became embarrassment, then she looked like she might cry and after that, she was almost indignant as they continued to laugh… but like clouds parting after the rain he saw the slightest hint of a smile grace her lips. She tried to hide it behind her hand, but he caught it and it pulled him up short before he grinned back. 

She tipped her water glass toward him and her nervous smile made him feel warm all over. Her sudden uninhibited giggle burned through him like a lit wick on a firework. It was then he decided he wasn’t losing this bet without a fight. He wasn’t about to charge in head first like Jimmy was likely to do; if there was one thing he had learned, it was how to play the long game and this one he was particularly motivated to win.

She passed him the glass and his fingers brushed hers as he took it sending sparks dancing across his skin. She grabbed her bag and he felt more than a little sad she was leaving. Before she turned to walk out he realised he hadn’t responded, quickly correcting that mistake he found himself hoping he hadn’t scared her off.

“You’re always welcome, besides Mellie needed a lesson in humility, still, I hope t’see you ‘round sometime.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will, ask your sister if you don’t believe me.”

She shot him a cheeky grin as though she knew that he was worried he’d never see her again, turned on her heel and before he could think of something witty to say, Rey Jameson was gone, the little bell still tinkling gently in her wake.

“Hey Mellie!!!” 

“Yea?!”

“Why’d Rey tell me t’ask you if I’d be seein’ her around?”

“Cause, she ‘n’ I have a date with any suckers playin’ pool Thursday night.”

oOo

That night Clyde Logan headed home with a smile on his face and a warmth emanating from his heart that had seeped right into his bones. Rey ‘like the whiskey’ Jameson, the angel of Duck Tape had made life seem just a little bit brighter. Thursday night couldn’t come soon enough. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who's left comments or kudos, you guys and gals got me off my lazy butt and I finished the next chapter so much faster :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here we see Clyde debriefing himself about meeting Rey. Very introspective for the sake of insight into his anxieties and reasoning but I promise I'll get back to these dumbasses interacting in chapter 3 :) 
> 
> also, I know its cliche but I love the idea of Rey wearing vintage star wars tees in a modern au and I'll be bringing other characters in soon, cross my heart. 
> 
> enjoy :) 
> 
> (side note: there has been an awakening - hint: it ain't in the force ;P but more on that later)

oOo

Rey had burst into his life and knocked his world off its axis. The lack of control he had over his emotions when it came to her was so incredibly refreshing compared to his usual demeanour that he could barely wipe the smile off his face.

Things had been painfully dull in the aftermath of their speedway robbery as Mellie jokingly nicknamed it; it was like he’d been high on the thrill of it all, he claimed to hate every moment, but it came as no surprise he suffered withdrawals afterwards. The same thing happened coming down off Iraq (though that was far easier considering he came home in pieces; mind and body). 

In the months that followed the heist, he remained hyper-aware of every aspect of his life and even though he thanked God every day he wasn’t spending it behind bars; the problem was, it reawakened his craving for things that made his heart beat faster or his hair stand on end; he just never expected a girl to cause that reaction. 

The second he saw her, he knew instantly what his life had been missing and it was the one thing he never dared to dream he could have after he came home, unable to bear the thought of holding someone back by letting them love him when they didn’t have to, he was caught between wishing he had no heart and wanting to just place it in her hands, like an offering to a goddess he would gladly worship the rest of his life if she’d allow it.

He had his family and his friends, but he couldn’t help feeling the weight of his incomplete existence. Jimmy had his daughter, Mellie was steady wither her new beau and he had resigned himself to a romantically solitary life. It was perhaps a little pathetic, but he hated the idea of being like Jimmy when it came to women. Even if he had no right to be picky, he’d always wanted what his parents had; if he ever managed to find a girl that could love him, he would want it to be ‘weathered love’ as his father had called it.

It was a running joke among the Logan family that stemmed from the story of how his parents met, even though it sounded like it meant a love that was tired or worn, it was the opposite. 

His father had been working as a farmhand, his mother was the typical Farmer’s daughter, the makings of a romance from day one. They had stumbled into the same barn when the super outbreak of ‘74 hit. In the early hours of the morning, a tornado ripped through Beckley, Fayette County and Meadow Bridge bringing destruction and the beginnings of a love story in its wake.

His father had told that tale often; his two sons sat on his knee or tucked in their beds, Mellie still in her crib; listening intently as he explained that ‘weathered love’ was the kind of love that stood the test of time, was unconditional and could survive any storm. ‘Yes, even a tornado!’ He could hear his father exclaim excitedly, as little Clyde with his gap-toothed smile and features his Momma swore he’d grow into, imagined meeting a woman he could love like his Da loved his Momma. 

Clyde had taken that story to heart, carried it in the front of his mind when he felt disheartened and now, he understood why he had never been truly jealous of Jimmy, despite wanting what he once had (there was a difference between jealousy and want). 

After watching his brother’s marriage break down, he realised weathered love had to be built brick by brick, reinforced and maintained to be strong enough to protect two hearts occupying one shelter. Jimmy and Bobbie-Jo didn’t maintain their reinforcements, the storms kept coming and it wore them down and tore them apart. He wondered if Jimmy had ever really understood his father’s lesson. 

Based on Jimmy’s lifestyle before he settled down and his nature in general, probably not. Jimmy had been one hell of a bachelor and Clyde could never quite understand how he enjoyed meaningless flings with one girl or other. 

Clyde truly bore the brunt of the Logan curse, most of all in his love life. The first time he thought he really had something with a girl, she’d left him to find better prospects in the city, damn near broke his heart. She ended up married to an accountant had three kids and a white picket fence life. He was happy for her.

The second time he let someone in, he found out he was a stepping stone for her to get to Jimmy (who turned her down flat; which came as a shock, but proved they always had each other’s backs). Last he’d heard, she’d been locked up for dealing who knows what. Funny that.

There wasn’t a third time, he refused to get his fingers burned again. Maybe it was overdramatic but he just didn’t want to deal with the pain that came with being second best. 

After that he just never bothered, he could survive without a woman in his life, sure there were a few one night stands here and there, he wasn’t a monk; then he came home from Iraq and that had been a whole ‘nother matter, he just gave up; no one ever saw past the arm and if they did he was terrified of waking up one day and seeing a girl look at him with resentment for not being good enough. He had no idea why his head and heart had both just agreed to trust some random girl who had walked into his bar by chance. For some reason, Rey Jameson gave him hope for the future, somehow, he just knew that she was someone he could trust with his heart. It scared him to think he could fall so hard and so fast, barely knowing a thing about her. 

In a matter of seconds, she had set his blood on fire but the rest of him just wanted to treat her right; his feelings were apples and oranges and it was almost annoying warring with himself and what was logical. All that weathered love stuff made more sense than it ever had, but what Clyde hadn’t counted on was the almost immediate sexual frustration that followed behind his terrifyingly new feelings. That was the true awakening he supposed. Clyde had denied himself far too long and Lord help him, this woman was everything he needed and more, his body and his soul knew it; the only thing keeping him checked and balanced was his mind and that was quickly losing the battle too. 

After one accidental and one intentional glance down the neck of her three sizes too big t-shirt, he’d almost had an aneurysm when he saw she wasn’t wearing a bra. If he thought he’d felt guilty for looking, he felt worse about having to douse himself in ice cold water when he got home and when that didn’t work; take himself in hand to deal with a not so small issue that refused to go away. In a way, he was glad to discover that his ability to be attracted to someone wasn’t irreparably damaged after being so long denied, but his shame at being unable to switch himself off outweighed that feeling. 

It hadn’t even been a day for fucks sakes. He really needed to reign himself in.

oOo

Wednesday came and went in a blur of mundane activities and by Thursday he was wondering if he had dreamt her. Thankfully he hadn’t seen Jimmy and was spared having to listen to his jibes all afternoon as he convinced himself Rey was real and returning. Mellie had been the one to prove him right after spending the better part of an hour on the phone listening to her gushing over her new friend.

To say he was interested would be an understatement. Rey was the equivalent of a set of jumper cables and suddenly, emotions and feelings that had been long hidden or thought dead were revived (annoying as some of those things could be). 

Clyde was ultimately a fighter and he wondered if, with a bit of cunning, he might convince Jimmy to back out; quickly dismissing the idea; because his brother would be more inspired to win if Clyde let on that it mattered; he turned his attention back to reality and tried not to think about the fact that he would be seeing her in less than an hour.

oOo

She breezed through the door at exactly six and the breath he was taking caught in his throat when she smiled at him. He knew he was absolutely and irrevocably fucked.

She walked straight up to him and he had to mentally slap himself to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming, so he could hear what she said. They chatted for the better part of an hour before Mellie arrived. He wasn’t usually good with people that weren’t family or old friends, but conversation with her (despite his nerves and rediscovered libido) was easy and flowed freely. He could lose hours that way if he wasn’t careful, maybe years; who could say how long he might remain caught in her gravity. She had no idea just how like the sun she was, her personality and her magnetism perfectly summed up by her three-letter name. 

Jimmy joined them sometime later but seemed more preoccupied chatting with Earl than making a move on Rey. Then again neither brother wanted to listen to Mellie’s commentary on their attempts at wooing; they’d never hear the end of it. So, it made sense Jimmy was avoiding flirting with her. 

Mellie and Rey managed to win quite a bit from the few newcomers floating around and when they’d had their fill of it, returned to sit by the bar talking about cars, weekend plans and Mellie’s latest work-related horror stories. 

Over the course of an evening, he felt the palpable shift of stranger to acquaintance to friend. Rey clearly loved Mellie and had put his brother in his place with her snarky retorts more than once quickly building a mutual respect for each other’s humour; Clyde could tell his siblings felt the change that came with acceptance just as keenly. 

As the night wore on, he found himself working as fast as possible, just to return to the conversation sooner, not wanting to miss a moment. He noticed after a while that she was purposely steering the conversation to give him time; waiting for him to return. If he were any less observant, he would have missed it. It made his chest tight and he felt warm all over to know subtle gesture, platonic or not was an indication of being wanted.

She laughed at tales of the Logan family’s talent for mischief and regaled them in with her own childhood antics in turn; How she and her friend Finn used to pretend to be a Stormtrooper and a Jedi and would have adventures in the desert fighting made up villains. Or how she’d found an abandoned 60’s VW bug in the middle of nowhere and turned it into their cubby house, only to accidentally torch it; because Finn who needed glasses but couldn’t afford them, left his magnifying glass on the seat one day and when the Arizona sun hit it just right, set the seat on fire. 

She looked happy talking about her past, but he noticed the smile didn’t always reach her eyes as she spoke, a fleeting glimpse of sadness carefully concealed behind her laugh. He saw himself in that look, but he didn’t question it; he knew she didn’t trust them with the truth of that emotion yet and he swore to himself that one day he might earn it. It was strange to see her talk about her childhood and know that she was holding something back. Something that she didn’t want to share, that caused her obvious pain to think about. 

Closing up that night, Clyde was still thinking about it and it made him realise that he had barely scratched the surface, he was only just getting to know this girl. He could tell she had her own demons, just like he did; He’d called her an angel at first glance but getting to know her had shown him that she was just as human as him and he loved that. He was able to see past the fantasy of the girl who walked into his bar, now that he knew a little more about her, he was even more enchanted by her humanity, by the lack of perfection that can be afforded to strangers and no longer applied to her. If he was falling for her, he was falling for her demons too and he knew his own well enough to understand that he couldn’t kill them for her, but one day he might stand with her and help her fight them if she let him.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone happens to be interested; the super outbreak of 1974 was the second largest tornado outbreak on record for a single 24 hour period. 148 tornadoes touched down in 13 different states including West Virginia (April 4th)- affected areas saw homes damaged and one fatality- really interesting read if you happen to be into that kind of thing :) 
> 
> please feel free to leave feedback, questions, general comments or just drop me a kudos, hell I don't mind if you just wanna gush about star wars and Reylo :) 
> 
> I always make a point of replying to every comment and I genuinely love hearing from you :) 
> 
> ta   
> xo Em


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I managed to get a chapter up when I said I would! cheers self on because that's so rare, im terrible with setting myself deadlines :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> swear I'm getting to smut eventually, this is kind of a mild slow burn I guess, but it won't take me 20 something chapters like my other wip haha :)

oOo

Three weeks later, Clyde was sitting on the other side of the bar for once. Bouncing his leg and drumming his fingers; He was nervous as he sat patiently waiting for Mellie and Rey to arrive. He felt like a teenager with a crush and he really hoped it didn’t show.

It was still well before opening and the first person through the door was Jimmy. Clyde’s heart certainly didn’t jump when he assumed it might be Rey. Ducking behind the bar, Jimmy grabbed his usual and shoved a couple of bills in the register before taking the stool next to him. 

“So, you gonna make a move tonight?”

“Wasn’t fixin’ to.”

“It’s been three weeks, lost your nerve?”

“It’s been three weeks...” He mimicked back sarcastically, which only served to exaggerate his southern drawl.

“…You got anythin’ t’show fr’it either?”

He wasn’t planning on letting Jimmy in on what he’d been up to since they’d first made that bet, lame as it was, he’d made more progress than Jimmy, judging by the look on his brother’s face (Clyde never did stop to wonder why his flirt of a brother wasn’t trying all that hard). 

Clyde was ultimately a romantic with no sense of how to do the romancing, but he hoped he might be able to avoid the ‘the brother of Jimmy Logan zone’.

After their first girl’s night, his sister and Rey had been almost inseparable, and Rey had been in almost every night since with or without his sister in tow. She already had a pattern and was getting to know most of his regulars; every second day she’d shoot pool, play cards, or darts; whatever she could make a profit from (she’d even asked if he was alright with her hustling his customers; he’d simply pointed out that if they were dumb enough to fall for it they had it coming, besides the regulars would bet on anything so it was actually alright for business, and if it meant seeing more of her, he was all for it) the remainder of the week, she’d come in for the company. 

He was still getting over the realisation that she seemed to prefer his company to Jimmy’s, she’d always sit close to him, made a point of making conversation, asking questions; but he still worried. Jimmy had all the charisma and people skills, Clyde had sarcasm and social anxiety; what on earth would she see in him?

Over the course of three weeks, he’d picked up a lot from observing Rey, even more from their conversations between serving drinks. She’d lived in Boone County for almost five years (that came as a surprise considering everyone knew everyone around town), she’d turned twenty-three last November (making her exactly ten years his junior which only freaked him out a little), liked tea, but hated coffee, preferred pie to cake, loved cars, star wars and old westerns; she never talked about what she did for work or where she lived, but based on the occasionally missed smudges of grease, he figured she was a mechanic of sorts (he’d asked Earl if he knew her, but he’d never seen her around, leaving Clyde more curious than he had been before).

Some nights she’d come in late, smelling faintly of burnt rubber and exhaust (if he was honest he really liked that scent trailing faintly after her, not quite covered by her perfume), once or twice she’d looked so worn out and pale he’d left an order of fries for her, just to make sure she ate something, she’d tried to pay and he slipped the money back in her purse when she was distracted chatting with Earl and his son. One night she’d sat in a booth skyping her friends Finn and Poe; when he’d walked by clearing tables, he found himself dragged into the empty seat beside her and introduced to the couple and their excitable boxer puppy Bebe. They seemed like good people, all too happy to listen to Rey talk about him and his family as though they were what made her world turn, that had been surprising, to hear just how she saw them in her own words. After he left he did his best not to eavesdrop but managed to hear snippets of information. Her friends lived in Arizona, were planning their wedding and wondered when she would let them come to visit, he got the impression they loved her dearly but hadn’t seen her in some time. He had to wonder why it sounded as though she had been purposely keeping them away.

Most of all he noted what and when she drank. She only drank on the nights she was running a con (only ever one or two) or if it had been a particularly hard day, the few times she had told him that was the case, she’d ordered a neat whiskey and didn’t nurse it for long, before politely asking for another. 

A week and a half after he’d first met her, she’d walked over, after beating some old fellah at darts and told him to surprise her when he inevitably asked what she was having.

He’d been completely stumped (what, he can’t make a pun once in a while?). Stalling, he made small talk while he tried to think of something. After serving one or two others, buying time, he was struck with an idea. It wasn’t exactly subtle, but it played right into her sense of humour and her sweet tooth. 

He ducked into his office out back and pulled out last year’s Christmas gift from Mellie. It had been a joke at the time, but now it seemed it was foresight on her part; he pulled ‘Cocktails and Shooters with Dirty Names’ off his bookshelf so carelessly, he managed to drop three other books along with it. He was so excited he didn’t even bother to pick them up.

Thumbing through the book, he found exactly what he had been looking for and bolted back out to get started. 

When he was done, he called Rey back over so she could taste it. He absolutely didn’t think about the way her lipgloss left a print on the glass and he certainly didn’t wonder what it might look like elsewhere. 

“Mmh! Jesus, Clyde this is amazing… What is it?”

He flinched at the sound of her moan, and oh dear God, he prayed he didn’t embarrass himself. He had to keep a straight face, or the effect would be ruined… However, He couldn’t help his blush or the way his cheeks and ears burned; the title certainly had him thinking about what it would be like to try it (and he didn’t mean the drink). ‘don’t be weird, don’t be weird, don’t be weird!’ he thought frantically before spitting out the name.

“It’s sex on the pool table.”

She looked at him wide-eyed and snorted. He only just managed to keep his cool as she attempted to suppress her laughter.

the game had continued from there (after he had awkwardly checked he hadn’t offended her); two nights later he had given her a ‘slow and comfortable screw’ and had earned a low chuckle and a wide smile that stole his breath. 

Two nights after that (one of those a whiskey night), he handed over a ‘Leg Spreader’. She had quirked an eyebrow at him and he had just been about to apologise for pushing the envelope when she burst out into a fit of hysterics, he followed close behind and was pulled up short when she blurted out that she loved his smile. A tense few moments later he had been called over by Earl and the tension was mercifully broken.

oOo

It had been a month since she had first set foot in his bar and Clyde was no less smitten. Rey and Mellie crashed through the door Saturday night in a fit of giggles and Clyde couldn’t help but smile watching the two of them walk in, arms linked and swaying slightly. ‘Good thing Jimmy drove ‘em here, Mellie’s drunk as a skunk already’ he thought with a fond smirk.

He’d been right to think they’d get along; Mellie had planned girl’s nights months in advance the night after she met Rey, enthusiastically telling him all about it when he’d dropped in to see her later that first week. 

Rey looked like a walking dream in denim dungarees and a floral tee, her hair up in three buns again looking slightly messier than usual, that was likely his sister's fault, she could be handsy and he had a feeling her good friend white wine was certainly involved. Still, he actively had to remind himself not to vacantly stare at Rey. 

Setting up glasses for the two of them, the second he heard the opening chords of Jailhouse Rock, his eyes snapped to Mellie standing by the jukebox in the corner with a Cheshire like grin on her face. Mellie let out a squeal of delight as Rey ran over and pulled her into an impromptu twirl before the two girls began dancing around the open space.

It was utterly adorable, Lord help him. He watched his sister dance with Rey and couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot watching their antics. Usually, the atmosphere was stoic and kind of dull but the two of them made the lights seem just a little brighter, the drinks colder and the bar itself just a bit more inviting. Jimmy must have noticed he’d spaced out because he was quickly snapped back to reality by the hand his brother waved frantically in front of his face. 

“Earth to Cly-yde, ah! there y’are.”

“Fuck off Jimmy.”

Brushing his hand away with as much annoyance as he could muster, he shot his brother a glare before returning to his work. It was so early most folks hadn’t finished work yet, so the place was empty save for his family Earl and Earl’s two boys. Rey and Mellie dropped into the two stools either side of Jimmy, Rey rested her cheek on her hand and stared at him intently and he tried not to be fascinated by her flushed cheeks and brilliant smile. 

“So, what’s it going to be this time Clyde? Sex on the Beach? Ooh, how about a Quick Fuck?”

Clyde froze, not daring to look at Jimmy who was choking on his beer, he kicked himself into moving with a cheeky grin. Did she have any idea how she sounded? He felt a flicker of triumph watching Jimmy turn a little red as he tried not to cough; Still, it gave him an excellent opportunity to mess with his head, but Clyde’s rational side took over and he made sure to ask;

“How much have you two had to drink?”

“I haven’t had a drop if you can believe it.”

Jimmy interjected and verified she hadn’t drunk anything, despite her behaviour and figuring if she hadn’t had anything she might appreciate something stronger, he replied;

“A ‘Quick Fuck’ it is.”

He started grabbing what he needed; he’d practically gone and memorised that damn book. When the girls weren’t looking he shot Jimmy a smirk and he let out an indignant huff that told Clyde all he needed to know; he’d gotten under his skin.

Mellie barked out a laugh when he passed over the glass with a bold wink directed at Rey, who then stuck her tongue out at him with her best attempt at a pout. All she managed to do was make her features pinch before she was a giggling mess. 

He liked that he could be himself with Rey, he might be the middle child but somewhere along the line, he’d ended up being the responsible one and it made him a little surly and somewhat externally humourless; he got Jimmy through his marriage ending, helped him get back on his feet when he lost his will to leave the trailer and was there for Mellie through every heartbreak and broken dream she’d ever had; he was the Logan family therapist in many ways, the sponge that soaked up their troubles. 

Even before he went into the army it was like he forgot he could smile every now and then; when he got back he just didn’t want to. He pulled himself together, relearned how to live and that was that, back to semi-normal. It had been slow going learning to take life as it comes, even slower finding things that made him want to smile; sure, it was easier now and he managed outward joy more often, but it was like his laugh had found a muse in her.

oOo

The night wore on, people ebbed and flowed, eventually, he started closing up and he watched on as Rey explained rugby and attempted to convince his siblings that Football wasn’t Football; Soccer was Football and Football was Gridiron (confusing right?). They had all vehemently disagreed and even though they weren’t about to change what they called it, he had to admit Rey had a point about soccer being older football by a few thousand years.

She was so passionate about everything, he was more than a little in awe of her, she just loved life and it made him wonder if that was what drew him to her; he was somewhat lacking in that and maybe he was seeking her, like a moth to a flame? 

As much as he liked to think she was heaven sent; like minds recognise like minds and he could see pain in her eyes; well disguised, but if you knew where and how to look for it, it wasn’t hard to find, neither was his own, only he had a physical marker of what it was, so people never usually had to bother to look closer; he knew she had things that haunted her in the night and for some strange reason he wanted to protect her from them. 

When Jimmy and Mellie headed to the dart board he knew they’d be arguing soon enough; it was a sure thing. Rey, however, had stayed behind and seeing as there were only a few stragglers and he had nothing much to do, he stepped out from behind the bar and took a seat beside her, grabbing her a glass of water as he did. She thanked him, and he went a little pink when she called him sweet and thoughtful.

They sat peacefully beside each other watching his sister do her utmost to beat Jimmy at what he called ‘his game’ with a capital H. 

When it came time to leave (sometime after he put an end to Mellie and Jimmy’s arguing), He closed up behind them and got a little lost in thought; he wasn’t aware of the sound of crunching gravel under his feet or the fading sound of it as his family, plus one walked the other way. If he had been paying attention, he would have heard her approach and wouldn’t have been so damn surprised when she appeared in front of him, placed her two small hands against his chest to stop him walking, balanced on her tiptoes and pressed a light kiss to his cheek, almost unbearably close to his mouth.

“Thanks for tonight Clyde. See you tomorrow, yeah?” 

She reached up and gently swiped her lip gloss off his cheek before turning the most adorable shade of pink and running back the other way, catching up with Mellie; leaving him to wonder if he had hallucinated the whole thing. 

He got home that night and fell asleep with his hand pressed against the cheek she had kissed. 

It wasn’t pathetic at all.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments, feedback or just drop a kudos if that's more your style, the encouragement does wonders for my inspiration and I love replying to all you lovely people :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another on-time update, good gracious what is happening to me :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I am sending so many virtual hugs out tonight; a massive thank you to everyone commenting, giving feedback, leaving kudos and reading this fic- I've had more comments in 24 hours on this and I am so humbled, astounded and inspired. Sending all the love and good vibes your way.
> 
> to keep everyone going until I get the next chapter edited, I'll let slip that I have written their first kiss and that the chapter after it happens will be the first showing some of Rey's perspective.

oOo

Another two weeks sped by and that kiss on the cheek had replayed in his mind more times that he could count, what the hell did it mean? He couldn’t for the life of him figure it out; she went out of her way and he couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t a friendly gesture, the way she leant against him, gently wiped her lip gloss off his cheek, had to be the most intimate thing he’d done with a woman in God only knows how long. ‘Okay maybe that was a little pathetic’ he thought.

Mellie had obviously witnessed Rey’s small display of affection and if Jimmy had noticed, then he wasn’t mentioning it. Mellie had squealed and jumped around when she saw him next and it took him a minute to figure out why she was so damn happy. According to Mellie she had given Rey a bit of a nudge in the right direction, based on her matchmaking instincts and ‘knowin’ her brother well enough t’see he’s sweet on a girl’ and it had somewhat paid off, even if she would have preferred they play tonsil hockey in the parking lot. 

Mellie was insistent on pulling more information out of him and he had no choice but to relent. Mellie was always hard to say no to. Explaining how much he liked Rey had sent her into another fit of hysterics as she recounted instances that proved Rey was interested. Clyde rained on her parade by offering alternate reasons and Mellie played her supposed trump card, telling him that Rey had made inquiries about a Mrs. Logan. 

“A woman does not ask that question unless she’s tryin’ t’find out if a fellahs single”

“I know that Mellie, but maybe it was a genuine question?”

“With the way that girl looks at you? Lord help me, this is going to be harder than I thought… Are you so stubborn you can’t see what’s right in front of your face? Just cut the shit, take a chance and don’t you dare give me any o’that curse nonsense, you know darn well you like her, you’re just afraid to admit it.”

“I know. But what do I do if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Then you suck it up and put the cork back in the bottle.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Then fight for what you want.” 

He spent the next week mulling over Mellie’s words. He knew he was being a coward not saying anything and it was hardly fair on Rey for him to let her think that he only thought of her as a friend. To simply never put his name in the ring as a possibility might hurt her as much as it hurt him; if one day down the line she happened to find out, there would be no coming back from it, things would be irreparably awkward between them and he’d lose her anyway. 

And wasn’t that just what he was afraid of? Losing her; To either his own stupidity or someone else. He might find she felt the same and only mess it up later and be forced to watch her slip through his fingers like sand in a sieve. But wasn’t it worse to never even try? Loved and lost and all that? He was very suddenly reminded of the T-shirt she had worn the last time he had seen her and recalled the caption with a slight smile; ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’

oOo

Every time he saw her, she departed with a promise to see him the next day, and as though fate was taunting him with his own inability to say what was on his mind, he started seeing her everywhere; buying groceries, the hardware store, in his favourite diner… The universe kept presenting him with opportunity after opportunity and he continually failed to take them.

He saw her at the bar too, every night without fail as though she couldn’t find a reason to stay away; and like clockwork, he would come up with some new obscene drink and wait for her reaction and they’d spend the night talking until it was inevitably time to go home. His most recent mix had earned him a more interesting look, as though she had figured out that it was less of a statement and more of a question when he passed her a drink entitled ‘sit on my face.’ 

After the oddly knowing look she gave him, it was a question…definitely a question.

He supposed he was lucky they had such an easy banter, after a couple of months he didn’t really have to worry about offending her, they knew each other well enough to be past that, she gave as good as she got, and he had been sufficiently reassured that he was not being ungentlemanly in encouraging their tradition.

So, he walked with her buying groceries, making small talk, took her up on her offer to fix his generator when she found him looking at replacements (he’d tried and failed to fix it, so had Jimmy but she’d had it running in an hour) and when he found her in his favourite booth at Chewie’s Diner one night, she waved him over and patted the empty seat beside her. While it would have made more sense to sit across from one another, he wasn’t complaining about proximity where Rey was involved. 

Oddly enough, it was nice not to have anything between them as they talked. It seemed the change suited her too. In the small booth they sat close enough to be touching from hip to knee; she had made a joke about how much bigger was up close, placing her small hand over his to compare, he felt his heart stutter in his chest at the gesture and at the fact she made no attempt to pull away.

For a while they talked about nothing, eating fries and sipping milkshakes; when they were done they paid their bill and found themselves wandering aimlessly in the glow of the streetlights, just enjoying one another’s company; but he caught the tiniest flicker of something in her eyes, it looked like fear and he quickly recognized the look from her self-titled ‘Whiskey nights.’ That look scared him because those were the nights she clearly didn’t want to go home. 

Having the chance to talk alone, the conversation turned to more serious things and he was unexpectedly allowed a glimpse into her past after he asked a seemingly innocuous question about her accent. That promise He’d made himself to someday earn her trust; this was the first step.

“I lived in England when I was little, never grew out of the accent I guess. Long story short, I ended up here after my parents abandoned me at a hotel in the middle of nowhere, got high and wrapped their car around a tree. I was four. After the staff found me and called the cops, I was sent to live in Florida with my Grandmother Maz, last living relative and all that. She was a kind woman, took really good care of me… I was with her for three years before a stroke put her in a home, the state didn’t care that mentally she was fine, she lost a lot of her movement so, they shipped me off before I even knew what was happening; I hated leaving her like that, I would have looked after her. You know, people around town used to call her the pirate queen, because she loved to sail; If I could I’d go visit her, I’d take her out on a boat every day I could, instead of leaving her in that fucking prison. But after bouncing around foster and group homes for years, which by the way is how I _really_ met Finn, I ended up here and by the time I aged out, well…I couldn’t leave now, even if I wanted to.”

He listened to her story and heard the hollow way she spoke about her past, the only spark was when she spoke about her Grandma. He knew she didn’t want his pity but she more than had his sympathy. To grow up with a taste of family only to have circumstance and poor choices snatch it away and leave you craving it. He hated that she had to suffer such a lonely childhood, foster care was no picnic if you ended up with a less than decent carer. 

Her comment about staying because she had to bothered him and maybe it was an overstep to ask her to elaborate, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong with that picture; he needed to know. He almost couldn’t believe she agreed to tell him.

“My last guardian, Uncle Plutt, you know the guy who owns the scrap yard outside town? He forced me to work for him and when I aged out, I had nowhere to go, no job, nothing. He let me stay, so long as I did what I was told, brought in my quota. I owe him, and he makes sure I don’t forget it. I rebirth cars, drag race, deal stolen parts, fix his books…I don’t like cheating people, but I can’t afford not to, he keeps cashing in on me, puts his quotas up to make sure I never get my head above water…I tried to find other ways, but it just wasn’t enough and if I leave, he turns me in to the cops. That first night when I thanked you for turning my night around… I-I meant it; you were nice to me when I felt like the slimiest thing to ever walk the earth after cheating those guys out of their money... I’ve been lying to everyone from the start, even you… I’m so sorry.”

Clyde was suddenly very tense and trying incredibly hard to keep his rage internal. He knew Uncle Plutt (as he liked to call himself) well enough to assume the reason Rey couldn’t leave. No one could ever prove it, but everyone around town suspected he blackmailed the kids he was charged with into taking on his more illegal pursuits, the evidence was now right in front of him. How the man managed to remain a foster carer was beyond him. He was just bad news and Clyde hated the thought of Rey being caught under the man’s fat, greasy thumb.

A lot of things suddenly made sense; the vague job description, conning folks in his bar every other night, her claim to be a mechanic ‘of sorts’, not wanting to say what part of town she lived in, not wanting her friends to visit. He knew she’d be too proud to let anyone see her struggle or to ask for help, too afraid of what the answer might be; she hadn’t trusted anyone enough with the truth until she told him. 

Clyde knew better than to say anything to Rey, but he was already thinking of how he might help. He knew people, the type that for the right price or favour might be willing to lend a hand. He was no saint, he could very easily-- 

Rey had gone awfully quiet and he realised she might assume his thoughtful silence meant he was judging her. A voice in the back of his mind told him to reassure her and for once he knew what to say, even if he struggled to voice it.

“I’m not real good with words, but you ought t’know that it ain’t your fault, you have nothin’ to apologize for. So you break the law a little? If you knew half the shit I’ve done… Jesus; Remember that Charlotte Speedway heist on the news? Where the thieves gave back the money? Well, Jimmy wasn’t stupid enough to give it _all_ back… and that’s not the only thing we’ve gotten away with over the years.”

Her eyes went wide as she recalled the story and realised he was involved. But once she schooled her features, she wasn’t looking at him any differently and that was an immense relief. 

“…There’s a difference between you n’ me; you’re desperate, it makes you a survivor if y’ask me. I’m just a thrill seeker with nothin’ better t’do. We’ve all done things we ain’t proud of, doesn’t make me like you any less. Hell, if you used that logic y’shouldn’t be talking to anyone with the last name Logan.” 

“Is that why you let me hustle in your bar? because you can’t judge? That can’t be good for business, I don’t get why you let it slide? Not that I’m complaining! any other bar would kick me out and then so would Plutt, but in my experience, people aren’t usually nice because they can be. Not that you’re not nice you’re wonderful, God, this is all coming out wrong… 

“Sweetheart, if I cared about hustling, I’d have t’kick my own sister out and half of the other folks along with her; and that’s not because I _can’t_ judge, it’s because I _don’t_ ; besides who else would challenge my bartendin’ skills with their obscene, girly drinks? Not to mention you’re one hell of a sure bet. If y’dont believe me, I’ll show you the ledger I keep in my office, anyone who bets on you is guaranteed to leave with more in their wallet than they came in with.”

She looped her arm around his waist and he practically melted into a puddle on the sidewalk when she pressed into his side. Based on her reaction he assumed he had managed to put her mind somewhat at ease. She looked up at him and the only word he had to describe her expression was pure wonder. Trust her to think taking bets on her was a stroke of genius, frankly, he had thought it a little crass; but he couldn’t take all the credit, the first bet had been between himself and Earl, what was he supposed to do when the rest of the regulars wanted in. 

“Hey Clyde, has anyone ever told you that you’ve got a heart of gold?”

“Well, maybe not a gold one, but I do have a heart.”

It went unsaid that it belonged to her. 

He could see the relief on her face as she realised that he wasn’t about to turn her away. It lasted a few wonderful moments before she began to cry. 

That caught him off guard and he had no idea what to do. So, he switched his brain off and just reacted. What he did reminded him of the way his Dad would comfort his Momma sometimes.

Cupping her face with one hand, he swiped away her tears with his thumb. The usual burst of self- loathing that came with knowing he couldn’t touch her with both hands, the way she deserved; never came. The thought didn’t even cross his mind… Because before it could happen she had her face buried in his shirt and her arms wrapped around him, clinging on like a baby opossum hanging onto its Momma; he almost laughed at the thought because imagery aside; holding her close was the most incredible feeling. His heart was going a million miles and he really hoped she couldn’t hear it echoing around his ribcage. 

Actually no, he wanted her to hear how she made him feel… 

Holding her tight and pressing his cheek to the top of her head while he whispered reassurances, her tears damn near broke his heart. To know about her parents, know that she had trusted and been burned before, made him wonder if he could show her there was still good to be found in people. 

Clyde Logan had never really been in love, but he knew that saying about letting go; problem was he didn’t think he could. Just holding her was the ultimate rush, it was everything he craved; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin pulsed in his veins and he knew that if she wanted to be friends he would spend his life pretending that was okay but would never feel fulfilled. 

She sniffled a bit and she broke away for a moment to grab a tissue from her purse, she wiped away her tears, blew her nose and tried to apologise. Before she got the chance to finish, he shushed her and went right back to hugging her. He prayed to God he never had to let her go. 

A small voice in the back of his head tried to intrude and tell him that this was as far he’d ever get, but he fought it off and pulled her closer only to feel her relax into him; something he’d never expected her to do.

They stayed like that for a while, standing in the middle of the empty street locked in one another’s embrace. She was warm and soft, and he could smell the light fragrance of her vanilla perfume mixed with mint & orange shampoo; he could get drunk on that smell. Eventually, they broke apart, walking as close as physically possible until they found a bench to occupy.

They sat in silence for a while before he thought of something to say, she’d trusted him with her supposed shame and it was about time he returned the favour.

oOo

After he had pointed out his prosthetic to her that first night, she’d apologised a number of times for being unobservant. He still held tight to the fact that she had been so focused on _him_ that she had managed to overlook it _and_ she kept her word. She never asked what happened.

For once in his life, Clyde got to tell someone about it in his own damn time. He never held it against a person when they asked or stared, he knew it made him a freak no matter the circumstances, but no one ever told him they didn’t care how it happened or let him keep it to himself if he wanted. He wondered if someone might have told her, it would explain why she denied human nature not asking him, but she never once let on that she knew. 

For the first time since he woke up in a hospital bed God knows where to the devastating shock of realising he was no longer whole, he _wanted_ to tell someone about it, and he was glad that in this instance he had that part of himself to share, for no reason other than he wanted to let her know she wasn’t alone. 

Pain was pain no matter the situation. 

He told her about his tour, hitting the mine, how he barely felt anything at the time, it was that quick and then all of a sudden, he was out cold from the blood loss. He shared things he hadn’t even told Jimmy; about how people looked at him when he came home, how it felt to know he’d never be invisible, how people treated him like he was half a man, how lonely that truly made life. 

He’d once thought he wanted to stand out, make a name for himself, get out of his brother’s shadow; but once people started looking at him, he’d hated it and by then he had no chance of ever blending in. He told her about his nightmares, the trouble he started getting into while he tried to re-adjust (and the trouble he got into with his brother, that had been one hell of a long tangent). 

He explained why he put a bell on the door of a bar because it had slammed shut once and given him a panic attack; hell, he even told her why he bought the bar in the first place. He’d figured he was spending enough time in it already, he may as well make something of it. Maybe he was tempting fate and perhaps it was a little silly, but the moment he stepped behind the bar as its owner, he lost the desire to drink it dry, otherwise, he'd have to pay to re-stock it himself. 

She took it all in and he knew that she understood why he was opening up to her, it wasn’t to make it about himself, it was mutually assured destruction of their protective walls. She had pressed her own detonator and he had gained her trust doing the same with his, bringing down his walls and bearing his broken soul to hers. She had shared the darkest part of herself, her biggest secret and he was glad to return the gesture.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can I just say that until now I had never realised there was a difference between Australian possums and American opossums- I will admit I thought you guys just added an 'O' for shits and gigs like the whole spelling realise with a z or dropping the 'u' in colour... I have never been more wrong in my life and now believe that somehow there was a colossal mix-up and we got the possum that was meant for you guys; because ours are so adorable and sweet looking and yours are cute in a terrifying kind of way. 
> 
>  
> 
> aaanyway; please keep leaving comments, questions, feedback, Kudos... they are as good as caffeine and I get so excited to read and reply, it makes my day. 
> 
> up next, Clyde talks about his past and we make some damn progress :) 
> 
> xo Em


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okey dokey I have finished what is technically part 2 of the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off - holy moly you are all amazing! the sheer amount of comments and kudos coming in on this... i am astounded and it is so heartwarming. THANK YOU ALL <3
> 
> Second:   
> what can I say except PROGRESS! 
> 
> still living up to the medium burn thing (why do i hurt myself this way?) but there are plenty of cute moments for you guys to cut your teeth on in this chapter :) 
> 
> enjoy :) Em

oOo

After hearing what Clyde had to say, Rey was feeling strangely liberated. She had been a slave to the secrets of her past for so long and admitting it to him had been cathartic. Having him make admissions of his own hadn’t made her feel that he was trying to overshadow hers, she knew it was a gesture of good faith; something that showed he understood why she hadn’t told him. He was giving her a part of himself to keep in return.

She found herself thanking whatever deity was up there looking out for her that she had offered him the chance to keep his business to himself. She really thought it rather rude people would force him to talk about what had to be a harrowing experience and she decided that if he wanted to tell her he would, but it was going to be on his terms. 

The way he spoke was as though it was the first time he’d told anyone; barely restraining his emotions, it was like his wounds were still raw. Somehow, he had never been more beautiful to her than in that moment. It had almost physically hurt to listen as he talked about life when he got home… She’d always loved broken things and spent ages fixing them, she was immensely proud to know that she had found someone who, like her, had found himself broken and managed to figure out a way to fix himself.

Talking about her own issues was such new territory she found that everything came out in kind of a rush. She really hadn’t wanted to cry in front of him, she hated making someone feel sorry for her because she couldn’t keep her emotions in check, crying had always been a weakness, something she had no time for. 

It had been almost overwhelming when he reacted the way he did. Being touched like she was something precious made her cry that much harder.

It had nothing to do with setting the truth free and everything to do with the fact he was looking down at her like she was the only thing in existence; they may as well have been standing in a bottomless void. He held her like he couldn’t believe she existed, she could hear his heart, strong and fast in his chest. She didn’t stop to think she might be the reason it even bothered beating in the first place.

He was so easy to get along with and then she really got to know him better, saw beneath the carefully constructed veneer and found him even more fascinating; discovering little things about him had her falling sooner than she had ever thought possible. He had the biggest heart and the fact that he’d found room for her, even as a friend was so much more than she was usually afforded. 

But she was like a child afraid of skinning her knees, every time she began to fall she would pull herself up short, never quite hitting the ground because she wasn’t sure if he would catch her for the reason she wanted him to. It made her dizzy and she was never sure if she had managed to get her point across when she was brave enough to flirt a little (that’s how bad she was at it). 

As time passed it got harder and harder to admit that she’d been lying to the one person in the world she felt she might be able to give her heart to, wasn’t that just the paradox of the century. Trusting someone to show them _some_ of yourself but keeping the darkness from them, as though it would protect them and not drive them away instead. But he was here and clearly not letting her go.

She’d always had Finn, and then Poe came along, and she loved them both, she really did but that was different to what she felt with Clyde; they were practically her family but once they got together, though no fault of their own; she felt like an annexe, a footnote in the wake of their romance. It was part of the reason she had never mentioned what happened after she aged out, why she kept them from coming to see her.

She’d been afraid and lonely without Maz, hated her first foster family and had hopped a bus to nowhere, just to escape the reality of her situation. She was independent even then and hated the thought of being needed or needing anyone in turn. 

The authorities found her just short of her destination (California) and dropped her at the first of many group homes. Her first day, Finn had come over and asked her if she wanted the empty water pistol he was using as a blaster or if she wanted the bit of rubber hose he was waving about as a rather floppy makeshift lightsaber. At the time she had marvelled at his vivid imagination and ingenuity, using the belt loops on his jeans as a place to hang the two lengths of rubber; honestly though when it came time to do battle, they had a lot of fun seeing how hard they whack each other and by the time they were called back inside, they were best friends.

Finn was a few years older and as soon as he aged out, he started rooming with Poe (the rest, as they say, is history)and Rey, she ran away…Only to end up with Plutt for her troubles. Knowing there was nothing either of them could do and refusing to let them worry, she stayed with Plutt and would never have ventured out, or found Clyde for that matter, had he not demanded more money.

She stepped into his bar that night and it was like coming home. She took one look at him and… Well, she didn’t have to words to describe how it felt to look at someone and know that they going to be important. She had been dragged into his orbit within seconds and the girl who never needed anyone, needed him more than air; but she had been terrified.

oOo

Clyde was somewhere between elated and panicking. His emotions flickering like images in a fast-moving slide projector. It was hard not to feel exposed and vulnerable; he’d given her the reality of his life rather than the sugar-coated version he gave to passers-by, with their fleeting curiosity and nervously hollow apologies for his circumstances.

Most of all he was feeling painfully awkward. What are you supposed to do after you show someone the darker side of yourself? He certainly didn’t know, it wasn’t like he had a precedent to work off. 

Then again neither did she, so he supposed they might figure it out together. He was altogether too busy worrying about such things that he wasn’t paying attention to the fact she had moved. She was on what he considered the wrong side but didn’t seem phased by it. She was resting her head against his shoulder, eyes closed, breathing steady and he was so distracted, he hadn’t noticed that she was absentmindedly brushing her fingers gently over his skin, below the crease of his elbow. His thoughts tripped in his head as he thought about the fact she wasn’t flinching or pulling away, it was simple and mindless but yet another small shred of proof that she honestly didn’t see him the way he saw himself. 

Enjoying being close to her in any capacity he decided to stop overthinking and concentrate on more important things; like the fact she had openly admitted to being afraid of going home. 

Knowing they had reached a point where most secrets no longer mattered, he had the courage to voice his concerns. 

She looked down at her lap and he lifted her face to meet her eyes, his gaze imploring her to tell him. She managed a quiet response and if he thought they were done with revelations and admissions for the night; he was dead wrong.

“I didn’t think it was that obvious, but until you showed up it felt like Plutt was following two steps behind me just daring me to face him; I didn’t make enough to meet my quota this week…I just didn’t want to go home after what happened last time I didn’t have his money on time.”

“Until I showed up? and what do you mean after last time?”

“That’s why I go to your bar so often, it’s the only place I feel like I can forget about life for a while, I feel safe there.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re there. Not that I mean that in- Oh, who am I honestly fucking kidding, I mean that exactly the way it sounds.”

It was like he had an out of body experience the moment the words left her mouth, to hear that perhaps what he felt having her close, was mirrored in the landscape of her emotions. His questions about last time all but forgotten as he got stuck in the moment.

“You mean what the way it sounds?”

She let out a sharp laugh and looked at him I disbelief. Alright, maybe he sounded stupid but if this was going where he thought it was, he wanted to be sure.

“I meant that I feel safe, here, with you… I know its illogical, but from the first moment I met you, I just felt like everything was going to be okay. You just smile or laugh and all of a sudden, nothing else matters, even when I’ve fucked up and said something stupid. When I’m having a bad day you always seem to know what to say, you see right through me when I think I’m managing to hide it, but instead of prying, you just understand… I can be myself around you and I know I kept secrets but even now you just accept it--You made _me_ , a stranger! part of your life even though it wasn’t for the reason I wish it was; but I’m a scavenger by nature, I’ll always take what I can get; I just never seem to have the courage to ask if you might want more too… so, I’m asking now because I’m so tired of stopping myself from saying what I want to…”

Clyde knew he probably had a dumbfounded look on his face, but he was far too busy processing her rambling to care what his expression looked like. He was trying his best to come up with a way to express both his utter joy at hearing she felt the same, and his complete and total reciprocation of those feelings, but was unable to think of a single thing to say. 

This amazing girl with her own complex history gave him a clean slate; she didn’t care one bit about his past, about every little insecurity he tormented himself with, their age difference, how quickly things had developed between them, or the fact he thought he could never be what someone like her needed; and here she thought that he couldn’t do the same for her. How was he supposed to tell her he honestly couldn’t care less, short of saying that he was in love with her (they certainly weren’t there yet), he was honestly struck speechless. 

She was telling him in not so many words that she wanted more. He wasn’t stupid enough to let the opportunity pass him by, but he also wasn’t about to take advantage; he was a gentleman first and foremost and he was going to make damn sure that if he made a move he wasn’t going to fuck everything up. 

“Rey… are you trying t’tell me that you wanna be more than friends?”

“Yeah, but if you don’t then I—I’d understand…”

She started to stand, and he could see her embarrassment shining through. He quickly tamped down his nerves as he grabbed her hand, standing with her. He didn’t bother with making declarations, what words could come close to explaining what was in his heart. Gathering his courage, his jaw ticked as he tried to rein in his anxiety, the first jump was always the hardest, the most gut-wrenching, after that it never seemed as high.

“That’s not what I asked Darlin’.”

They were already so close to one another he just had to lean down a little and…

‘Did she just nod? Fuck, she did!’ 

He didn’t waste any time. He jumped… correction, he soared. 

Her lips were warm and soft against his own, he felt the heat of her breath against his skin as her shock wore off and she engaged. He was pleased to know he’d managed to steal it. 

It wasn’t chaste for long. Her tongue traced the seam of his lips and he gladly let her take charge. Opening for her and deepening the kiss, he had no intention of letting this girl be the one that got away. He had her, he wasn’t letting go.

Her fingers were tangled in his hair and he was consistently reminding himself to keep his own from roaming further down her back; she was a lady and he was not going to take liberties without permission. Certainly not in the middle of the street, she didn’t deserve that kind of humiliation among the town’s gossips.

Breaking apart for air was like being dragged back down from heaven and she clearly felt the same, stretching up to steal small kisses between breaths, her arms looped around his neck; she was pressing her body against him for balance and he wondered if she might melt into him. ‘That’d be weirdly nice.’

In the dim light of a busted streetlamp, he had the chance to really look at her, only the darkest of freckles were visible and he could only just make out her flushed cheeks, the flecks of green in her eyes bright enough to be seen in the poor light above them, the way her lashes brushed her cheeks when she blinked and then she was smirking at him affectionately and he was smiling back without even knowing what she was going to say.

“Honestly, I thought you’d never catch on.”

“Catch on to what Darlin’?” 

“That maybe I was propositioning you with those drinks”

He raised an eyebrow at her and figured it was better late than never to admit that he’d not only hoped that she was, but that he had kept the joke running for similar reasons.

“And you never imagined I was doin’ the same sweetheart?”

“Well no, I just figured you found it fu—Clyde Logan, you dirty minded bastard!”

She started laughing and he figured considering she wasn’t actually mad about it, he may as well tease her a little

“Definitely not a bastard sweetheart. Benefit of bein’ the middle child, Jimmy’s the one that needed t’worry, not me.”

She swatted his shoulder with a playful grin before looking at him with an odd mix of humour and intrigue

“So, sex on the pool table huh?”

He shrugged, leaning down to kiss her again; it was a little awkward because they were both smiling but neither of them cared. He finally got why people wrote home about stuff like this. He honestly couldn’t remember being happier than in that moment; taking a blind leap had paid off, curse or no curse. If he wasn’t already wrapped around her little finger he was practically superglued to it now. 

She pulled away and he liked that she was already creating a habit; chasing small lingering kisses afterwards, as though she couldn’t bear to stop, her hands laced behind his head. 

After breaking apart, she looped her arm through his and went to start walking. Wondering what she was doing, he stood still and pulled her back. She looked confused before realising she had to clarify.

“Um, walk me to my car?”

Did she just? Lord have mercy, she didn’t honestly think he was going to wave her off as she wandered into danger? He needed to think of something, fast. The timing was incredibly inconvenient, things were looking up and all of a sudden, he had to toe the line of what was appropriate. In as gentle a tone as he could manage he spoke, while calmly reaching out for her hoping she would accept his offer and his hand.

“Rey, if you think I’m lettin’ you within a mile of Plutt, you’re crazy. You can stay with me or you can stay with Mellie, or Jimmy if you want; hell, I’ll take you to a hotel if I have to, but please don’t go back there tonight.”

The fact she didn’t even try to fight him on it told him all he needed to know about how afraid she was, he watched her deflate as he spoke. He wasn’t trying to make her feel like she couldn’t protect herself, or that she needed him to do it for her; his conscience would have driven him mad if he didn’t at least try. She hadn’t answered but she did tentatively take his hand. He ran his thumb over her knuckles hoping to soothe her a little.

“And before you try t’say you’d be imposin’ Mellie would be glad t’have you and I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”

“You’re not trying to get fresh with me, are you Clyde? ”

She was giving him a devious looking smile that did nothing to fool him, she looked relieved; he figured it would be best to take her tease as an honest question considering the situation. 

“No, I’m not… I might seem a bit thick, but I see more than you realise, and I’ve heard enough town gossip t’know Plutt don’t take kindly t’bein’ short-changed.”

“You don’t mind me staying with you? I mean I’m not great at accepting help at the best of times… I couldn’t even bring myself to ask Finn, I don’t want you to feel that you have to, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but trust me, you’d be doing me a favour; at least I’ll sleep better.”

She looked almost suspicious as she agreed. It was totally understandable, but he was kind of glad it wasn’t the fact it was him offering that made her skittish, it was the fact she’d isolated herself to the point being offered help was foreign (that made him rather sad, she deserved the everything and told herself that it wasn’t hers to want…that was an eerily familiar concept). She thanked him so excessively he really began to wonder just what she would have been met with if she did go home, her relief despite her anxiety was very clear to him; Clyde knew it was a band-aid on a bullet wound type situation; Uncle Plutt was a bullet that would need to be removed sooner rather than later.

oOo

Clyde did exactly what he said he was going to; with only one or two slight deviations that saw him half ravished against a lamp post; he didn’t mind that in the least, in a way he supposed he needed that. But he did stop to make sure she didn’t think she was obligated to do anything. Hindsight was twenty-twenty as she shook her finger at him and told him that she did it because she liked him, and she wanted to, not because he was helping her. When she declared her rant was over and he had apologised, He kissed her back. ‘I definitely can’t get enough of this’ he thought happily.

He walked her to her car and kept his eye on her in the rear-view mirror on the drive home. 

He hadn’t really thought she’d accept, but it set his mind at ease to know that Plutt wouldn’t lay a hand on her, even if it was for one night. He was going on solely instinct, but the fact she had taken his proffered hand, setting aside her pride, meant she didn’t even need to explain. He wasn’t trying to be some kind of white knight, he just wanted to know she was safe. 

Feelings aside, he would have done it anyway, it had nothing to do with being raised right or being overprotective; he just believed in helping people in their time of need. That was the main reason he even enlisted, he wanted to help his country plain and simple; if he’d relied only on his secondary reasons to justify going, he probably wouldn’t have found life worth living afterwards. At least he knew in his heart that what he’d sacrificed, wasn’t for the sake of selfishness. 

Pulling into his driveway he had a brief moment of panic when he realised that he had quite literally skipped a few steps in the process. He’d gone from gaining her trust, hearing the truth about her past, to making out with a girl for the first time in years, under a lamp post (how cliché), to having her stay the night; albeit in the spare room, all in the space of a few hours. He had to take more than a few deep breaths before he could manage to get his keys out of the ignition or even think about unlocking his front door without looking like a nervous wreck. 

And yet as he watched her fidget in her car, fumbling around for her purse and accidentally putting her keys in her bag before she locked her car, only to have to dig around to find them; he couldn’t bring himself to regret or chastise himself for putting himself in such a position.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to keep leaving comments, kudos, feedback, you are all amazing and I appreciate hearing from you so much; it makes my day to write replies because it is a joy, not a job. 
> 
> next update will be early next week unless I manage to surprise myself :)   
> xo Em


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I said Monday so here it is as promised :) 
> 
> another split chapter; this is part one - part two will follow over the next few days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the next two chapters really showcase the anxiety caused by changes in relationships; it's a rather difficult thing to adapt to and I hope I've managed to cover it without being annoying; its difficult to get right but the way I've written these two, they both deal with quite high levels of anxiety and that had to be included as they navigate starting their relationship in a relatively unconventional way. 
> 
> Also for those of you wondering when I'm going to put the fact they are both at Clyde's place to good use, there'll be something fun happening next chapter to tide you all over (I know it's taking me a while, but I promise I won't be holding out too much longer, I have a plan I swear and I think you'll all really like it).

oOo

Rey was more than a little amazed to find that a lot of her childhood wishes were wrapped up and granted by one person.

-Someone who looked at her like she hung the moon in the sky each night; Check

-Someone who was willing to overlook her faults and issues; Check 

-Someone she could rely on, someone who would take care of her; Check 

-Someone who actively tried to understand her and didn’t mind her quirks and hang-ups; Check 

The second he had kissed her it was like the world ended and that was all there was left; just the two of them. For the lost, abandoned little kid who became a woman, having her feelings returned with such resolve was exactly what she needed. 

She had thought for a time that he was only interested in her as a friend, then she’d overheard Mellie talking to Jimmy about his sweetheart and thought he might have a wife or girlfriend she’d never met; she was loath to admit she cried herself to sleep that night. In her twenty-three years, she had never had a boyfriend, never even had a serious crush. Sure, she’d kissed one or two guys before but after feeling nothing had decided she could survive just fine without the attachment; didn’t stop her looking though. Until she met Clyde, she had assumed she lacked the capacity to fall for someone, constantly rationalising; but the second he smiled at her, she found herself reacting body and mind. To think that she might never have the chance to act on her feelings had left her a certifiable mess, until she worked up the courage to ask Mellie what his deal was. 

She had been more than adamant about him being single and interested. But Rey couldn’t see it; sure, they joked around but that didn’t mean that he saw her as anything more than a friend (or god forbid a sister), she recognised the differences between them and thought perhaps that might change things, she knew she was perhaps a bit young and she certainly didn’t think she was much to look at... but she took Mellie up on her advice to just see how things played out anyway. When things seemed one way, Rey tried her best not to take things he said or did the other… but it was pretty hard to explain away the way he just kissed her. 

And what he did next had surprised her even more. He didn’t order her like Finn might have; he offered to help calmly and gently, gave her options other than himself because he was clearly nervous she might feel he was pressuring her. She had come so close to saying three words that might have ruined everything when he explained that he was worried about her going back to Plutt. 

She had no one to worry about her no matter whose fault it was; the fact he did with little to no prompting left her a jumble of emotions and barely restrained tears. 

She had never let anyone close enough to help, even before ending up with Plutt and she was nervous to accept it, but self-preservation won out, she knew that she needed it. Plutt was downright mean when he didn’t get what he was owed; last time she’d turned up short, she had crawled into her room with a black eye, bruised ribs and a few broken fingers after hitting one of his henchmen who had tried to break her arm. 

This time was likely to be more of the same, perhaps worse with the number of chances she’d used up and if Clyde had any idea what her guardian turned boss was like, then he would most certainly sleep peacefully knowing she wasn’t at the scrapyard. So, she followed him home not like a stray latching onto someone who showed kindness; but as a person who had accepted a genuine offer of assistance. Her heart felt about three sizes too big for her chest because of it.

As she drove she lost herself in thought, replaying the events of the evening. How on earth did they manage to go from laughing and joking over milkshakes, to her practically telling him her life story? She’d never really considered that something even remotely romantic but somehow it had led to her admitting she liked him and finding out he just so happened to reciprocate. 

Knowing that he felt the same way she did was a comfort, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t confused by it. What she wanted more than anything was to sit down with him and talk it out; for the sake of her anxiety, she needed to have that conversation with him, to understand how and why. But perhaps for once there didn’t have to be a rhyme or reason; what she wanted more than anything was to just be.

She was glad for the peace the short drive to his place provided, it gave her time to collect herself. Pulling up out the front, his house was almost hard to spot among all the trees planted around it. The house itself wasn’t ostentatious or clinical; a concrete path led to wide steps and a quaint patio. It had plenty of character, but she was hesitant to describe it as a cabin, maybe cottage would fit better, or a cross between the two; either way it suited him. It was charming and understated and it looked like the kind of place you wanted to call home at the end of the day, warm and inviting and uncomplicated. 

He waited for her as she locked up and followed behind her as she walked in. She heard the quiet snick of the light switch while she bent to unlace her shoes. Her eyes flicked up and she found herself staring into his living room. It was like looking at him in the form of furnishings. Earthy tones and wooden furniture clearly there to fit his family, bookcases that held numerous novels and judging by the colourful somewhat glittery spines, a few children’s books for Sadie. Rey was pulled in and took a few steps forward before noticing he wasn’t with her.

He seemed to hang about by the door as though he didn’t quite know where he belonged. Lucky for him, she knew exactly where he was meant to be. She wasn’t there to make him feel awkward in his own home. She took one or two tentative steps back toward him and placed her hands on his shoulders, looking him right in they eyes and holding him there. 

“Thank you.”

Two simple words that she hoped conveyed everything. Her gratitude at being offered a place to hide for the night, how truly thankful she was to know someone as thoughtful, kind and wonderful as him, how much she truly felt for him.

He worried at his lip and nervously ran his hand down her outstretched arm before pulling her in for a hug. 

“I-I’m sorry, it’s all a bit much t’deal with, I’m still processing the fact you want me and now you’re here and I don’t know what I’m supposed to sa-”

“Clyde, it's alright. We’re the same as always, there’s just a little extra thrown in. You don’t have to worry.”

“I know I shouldn’t but god, Rey, I haven’t even asked if you wanna go on a date yet and you’re a lady, obviously... and I hope I’m not messin’ it all up or makin’ you feel I’m trying to move things along faster. It’s irrational but I just…”

“I’m free any night this week? You choose.”

He pulled away to look at her and gave her the most brilliant smile. Apparently, that was enough to tell him he was doing just fine. She understood how overwhelmed he must be. Even at the best of times his insecurities lurked just below the surface, while he never really voiced it, everything about him told her what she needed to know, right down to his posture; she could pick the second he started thinking something negative after just a couple of months observing him. Strangely enough, it was one of many things she liked about him. He was so unaware of himself and had no idea how she really saw him. 

Still hugging by his front door, she held on until she felt him relax and then a little longer for good measure, just because she could. 

“So, you wanna show me around or are we going to chill by the front door a while longer?”

He chuckled and squeezed her a little tighter before letting go and toeing off his shoes. 

He led her through the living room and kitchen, showed her where the bathroom was and the spare room (which was covered in glow in the dark stars she assumed were there for Sadie’s benefit, rather sweet if you asked her) before ending up right back where they started. 

Feeling decidedly less nervous than before, she sat down on the couch and kicked her feet up. He quirked an eyebrow at her and when she shrugged he sat beside her. Before he managed to get settled, she decided he wasn’t nearly close enough, pulling him down to rest his head in her lap and immediately running her fingers through his hair… Jesus help her, she’d had more than a few fantasies about his hair over the past few weeks and it was every bit as soft as it looked, witchcraft if you asked her. Besides she’d spent long enough actively trying not to get too close, she was making up for lost time.

They talked for a little while about Plutt and the things she did for him. Whenever he seemed to get a little mad about it (not directed at her) Rey would press a kiss to his brow to let him know it was alright. She was used to her life with Plutt and his gang; she supposed maybe she was too close to the situation to realise just how bad it was, once she realised that, it was perfectly understandable that he wanted to strangle her boss.

With a very subtle manoeuvre she managed to change the subject; not quite off the topic of crime, just adjacent. She had almost burst out laughing when he sounded proud of her mechanical and racing abilities. 

“Clyde, you realise what I’m doing is illegal.”

“Yeah, but anyone who can build a car from the ground up deserves some praise.” 

“Eh… I’ll take it.”

They spent the next hour sipping beer and swapping honest stories. She couldn’t help her shocked laughter when he told her about catching the tube full of explosives during the Speedway job.

“Why would you catch it though!?”

“It was a reflex! I didn’t mean to. Then some idiot reversed the machine and sucked my old arm clean off! I thought I was done for…”

She told a few of her own tall tales, though none of them came close to being as hilarious as his. Her only real close calls had been during her pickpocketing days, some people were more observant than others; aside from those, maybe one or two mad dashes to make sure she wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time (mostly at drag races or busts; she always seemed to manage to get away before it went pear shaped).

oOo

She couldn’t help but like the fact he was quite the chatterbox around her. His usually quiet demeanour fell away to reveal someone who could talk the legs off not just the chair but the whole dining suite.

Time flew once they were done talking about serious topics. The second she’d brought up his books he’d begun talking about authors and series and theories; he got so carried away he’d forgotten to ask if she’d read any of them. When he did get around to it, she didn’t bother replying in a conventional way; preferring to simply offer her own thoughts, having read most of the titles on his shelves anyway. 

He had rather an eclectic taste and she could tell that books were his escape, his multiple well organised bookshelves housing a range of authors and subjects from Shakespeare, Dickens and Austen to Agatha Christie, thrillers, sci-fi, classics and modern literature like the Hunger Games; she was also pretty sure she spotted a copy of Twilight in there somewhere and when she teased him about it, he simply said that Mellie had talked about it so damn much, he read it to see what the fuss was about and didn’t have the heart to burn any book no matter how bad he thought it was.

Looking over the spines of each she noted that he took good care of them; his paperbacks were hardly creased even though he had mentioned reading some titles religiously and the dustjackets on the hardcovers were practically new. She could see they were cared for and loved. It reminded her of herself. Anything she had the pleasure of calling hers was always well looked after. 

The books were most certainly a metaphor for the way she knew he would treat her, it was like the whole ‘always look at how he treats staff’ thing, adapted for her own use; and she in turn would take care of him. His statement that even if they were just friends he would have offered to help kept playing in her mind. He cared about her so much he was willing to set aside his feelings and anxieties to help her out of a jam. 

It was well into the early hours of the morning and they were both too stubborn to go to bed trying to keep the conversation going between yawns. Not that she minded. From their new and rather cosy position on the couch, she peeked up at him and couldn’t help but wonder how she got so lucky even if it was a little early on in the piece. She was quite comfortable curled into his side, the back of the couch keeping her in place beside him while she had her arms wrapped around his waist. 

She couldn’t quite stop herself thinking about the fact that he was incredibly well built and very clearly quite fit. The arm he had around her had just lifted the hem of his shirt up and maybe if she ran a hand over the bare skin above his hip she could blame it on the beer she’d had. 

Well, that wouldn’t quite work, he knew exactly what her tolerance was… Still the idea had merit and she kind of wanted to see how it might play out. Her hands must have been a little cold because the moment she touched him he jolted a little; evidently, he had dosed off and she had to stifle a laugh seeing the sleepy, slightly confused look he had; it matched the one he gave her when she snuggled up to him in the first place. Baby steps (not just for his benefit either, she was hardly used to physical contact of any sort).

Still, she was far from worried about touching him, so long as he didn’t ask her to stop. It wasn’t exactly sexual if that made sense, just kind of testing the water. It was more than clear to her when he ran his own hand up the curve of her spine that he was just fine with it. Better yet he was a gentleman about it; when he hit the band of her bra, he backed off instantly, tracing down the curve of her waist before settling on the small of her back running his thumb back and forth. It was gentle and maybe she was feeling a little confident; 

The sentence she blurted out had to be either the smartest thing she’d ever said or the dumbest (it certainly sounded kind of stupid). 

“You can go lower… If you want to.”

oOo

You know that feeling of being completely thrown for a loop. That wasn’t how Clyde felt at all. Being curled up on the couch together was the most natural thing in the world, the few moments he spent asleep, he’d never felt more comfortable and to be woken by her cold little hand running under his shirt had been one of the better ways he’d woken up in his life. 

Just small things like that were so endearing, that she wanted to be closer… He didn’t even know what to make of her request, but he was all for making the most of her, besides he wasn’t feeling as uncomfortable now that he was used to having her in his personal space; he’d just needed a little time to decompress after getting through the door. Kissing was one thing, he wasn’t really sure how things were supposed to go after he took her home, and he was very much a ‘kiss at the door on a first date and leave it there’ kind of guy. No one would ever think to call Clyde Logan a libertine, it just wasn’t in his constitution. 

She had been right to say that nothing had really changed, spending half the night talking, like always had more than proven that. He had no qualms about her getting comfortable and if that meant she wanted to tangle her body with his, he would gladly oblige; if she didn’t mind his hand travelling a little further down then he wasn’t about to argue with her either (and he wasn’t going to lie and say that he didn’t want to). 

He slipped his hand into the back pocket of her jeans and left it there, he wasn’t about to attempt to take things further; they were both half asleep and it was two in the fucking morning. They stayed like that for a little while just dozing before he suggested they get to bed. 

He grabbed her a shirt, boxers and a towel before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he padded back to his room he noticed the absence of light under her door and he tried to go about getting ready for bed as quietly as he could. 

Slipping off his prosthetic then removing the rest of his clothes and tossing them in the hamper by the door he was halfway through pulling on his pants when he heard the creak of the slightly loose floorboard outside his door, soon followed by a light knock. Pants on and shirt in hand, he didn’t stop to think about the fact he’d taken off his prosthesis before he answered. 

She was standing on the other side of his door in nothing but his Bob Seger T-shirt. It was so long on her, he wasn’t sure if she had his boxers on or not and for some reason the need for an answer was burning in his head. There was something about seeing her in his clothes that just did wicked things to him and he had to shake himself out of it. 

He was relatively surprised to notice her doing the same and… oh, right no shirt. Apparently, that had managed to somewhat distract her. It was kind of cute if he was being honest. Once again, she overlooked the obvious, more focused on what he had than what he didn’t. 

If there was one thing he felt confident about, it was the fact that he was in good shape. Finding ways of living around the loss of his hand had been one of the main reasons he never gave up exercise, it gave him purpose and an outlet. He’d always been tall and fortunately, he filled out as a teen instead of remaining scrawny, joining the army had also done his physique a world of good (before it did the opposite). He knew that these days, for the most part, he was an adequate specimen; but the way she was staring up at him, was like she’d been looking at the damn statue of David. 

“I, um. Sorry, I just wanted to say goodnight… so, uh; goodnight.” 

He knew that whatever she had wanted to say had been quickly amended when she panicked. He momentarily wondered why as he watched her scamper back to her room before he had the chance to say something in return. 

Pulling his shirt over his head and purposefully leaving the door ajar, he thought about crossing the hall and finding out but figured she’d sort herself out eventually. 

Crawling into bed he could feel the exhaustion creeping in (falling asleep on the couch felt like the most sleep he’d had in days). Trying to fall asleep, he found himself replaying the best parts of the evening in his head, thinking about how things had managed to work out rather well. He wasn’t sure how much time passed, maybe twenty minutes when he heard the floorboard creak again. Tempted to get up and see what she was doing, he thought it best to stay where he was; maybe it was a little deceptive, but he slowed his breathing and half closed his eyes, feigning sleep, wanting to see what she would do. When she knocked he didn’t stir, she knocked again and after waiting a moment she gently inched the door open calling his name softly. He could just make out her silhouette in the darkness and watched from beneath his lashes as she felt her way across the room. She bumped into something (most likely the bedpost) and he barely managed to contain a laugh. But he took it as his only chance to fake wake up (that was a rabbit hole he didn’t need to go down, she wasn't stupid enough to think he'd slept through the thud and string of cuss words that followed). 

“Rey?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doin’ sweetheart?”

“I um… all the stars in the room, I couldn’t fall asleep with all the shadows.”

She didn’t finish her sentence, but he understood what she was asking, he saw things in the dark too. He pulled back the covers and she slid in beside him. He went to keep his distance, but they were like magnets and he discovered he quite liked being the little spoon, she was kind of like a backpack the way she was holding him. He listened to her breathing, able to tell when she fell asleep; the last conscious thought he had before he joined her was how surprised he was at managing to achieve such a feat after mere minutes beside her.

oOo

When he next woke it was a little past six, Rey was crying in her sleep and judging by her quiet pleas, she was having a fairly horrific nightmare.

Not knowing whether to wake her or leave her be, he listened in to gauge the situation before he acted. She wasn’t screaming, that was a good sign but whatever was happening had her clutching at him like he was her last lifeline. Apparently, he was, because the next words out of her mouth were; ‘Don’t you dare hurt Clyde.’ That was a little strange. Evidently, she was concerned about someone hurting him. she started to panic and fortunately, she wasn't thrashing, but the way she was pleading sounded so broken: 'No… no! Please… I didn’t… Oh God, Stop... please dont leave me.'

Once again, he reacted to her tears and began to gently stroke her hair, shushing her quietly until her subconscious calmed. Whatever she was seeing had to be traumatic to elicit such a response, he was just surprised he was connected to it. He tucked her into his chest and started rubbing slow circles into her back in an attempt to soothe her. It seemed to work, and he felt the tension release, her body returning to the peace of sleep after a minute or so. She curled closer to him, her legs tangling with his and he didn’t mind it one bit. As he began to nod off again, he barely registered the fact that in her sleep she had sought out his hand and had come up empty, only to end up resting her hand gently on what remained of his forearm. 

still no flinch.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part two will be up later in the week, I am headed away for the weekend but I should be able to get the next chapter up sometime around Friday 
> 
> as always please feel free to leave feedback, general comments or kudos my favourite part of the day is checking my inbox and working on replies after i update so keep em coming :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay people, I'm starting to live up to the E tag, the first half of a lemon today, the second half with the next update.
> 
> I'm also dropping hints to some of Plutt's shady goings-on and while there's nothing too descriptive I don't want to leave anything to chance so here's a little warning now and I'll do proper warnings when required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry about the wait for this chapter; its just been issue after issue over the past week with migraines, a bunch of family events (all the birthdays strike at once), going out of town and forgetting my laptop... the list goes on. 
> 
> after sitting half written for a week, here is part 2 :)

oOo

‘Why does it feel like I’m sleeping on the surface of the god damn sun?’

Returning to consciousness, that was the first thought to run through her head. Evidently, Rey had forgotten where she was. 

The next thing was panic over leaving her death trap of a heater on, but the second she tried to sit up she realised she was rather comfortably trapped by a certain gentleman she had rather enjoyed kissing the evening prior. Taking that into account, the warmth wasn’t so bad, even if it was still on the warmer side of autumn. 

She knew she had been pushing her boundaries asking to stay with him, but the collectively dim light of glow in the dark stars had really creeped her out. The bookcase was just the right height and width to catch in the corner of her eye and make her think Plutt was in the room; being in an unfamiliar place had already set her somewhat on edge and considering the reason she was there, the last thing she needed was to wake up screaming in the middle of the night because she didn’t know where she was. 

Deciding she would much prefer to enjoy the lazy Saturday morning this was turning out to be, she turned off her brain, buried her face in his shirt and tried to go back to sleep, but he seemed to notice she had stirred and started to let her go. ‘No, no, no! Great… Now we’re both awake’. She let out an exasperated huff and burrowed into the covers further, slinging a leg over him somewhat possessively as she reasoned with herself that they were adults and cuddling was perfectly normal. She didn’t really stop to think about the fact it had been less than twelve hours since they had admitted wanting something more. She kind of forgot to panic about the fact they hadn’t defined anything; it just felt good to let someone in, to let them get close for once and she wasn’t bothered by the fact that she didn’t know where she stood; knowing him they’d be talking about it soon enough and that was heartening in itself, knowing he was just as thorough as she was, while still allowing some things to go unspoken. 

However, he didn’t seem as confused as she was, no shock or jolt of panic when he woke, he just bid her good morning in a husky whisper that sent shivers down her spine; she responded by pulling his free arm back around her waist, propriety be damned. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head (perhaps thinking the same) and Rey was decidedly unafraid to admit to herself that she wouldn’t mind this being a regular thing, but she was nowhere near ready to put a voice to it.

She felt comfortable with Clyde that much was certain. Anxious or not, he knew where the line was and wouldn’t cross it unless she asked him to. That was incredibly reassuring; years of fending off Plutt’s advances and the roaming hands of his gang had left her skittish about flirting and sex in general. Subjected to leering glances and unwarranted touching, self-defence made no difference; sure, she could protect herself against more adamant advances, but she couldn’t stop lewd comments or a quick grope. 

What she wanted more than anything was to be confident about herself the way Mellie was, able to own her femininity, but with Clyde, she didn’t need to. He didn’t mind her being her own awkward, tomboyish, unsure self; he was every bit a gentleman was her friend first and even then he had made her feel like she was perfect just the way she was. He was the furthest thing from most men she knew. Rey didn’t have the words to express how much she admired and respected him for that. He had commented once or twice that he couldn’t believe she had found his actions surprising, claiming what she thought incredibly gallant was completely normal behaviour for good folk; but at the time he hadn’t known the kind of behaviour she had grown accustomed to. It was soothing to know that no matter what, she was safe with him. 

Still holding on to the last of the morning, her musing was interrupted when her stomach let out an obnoxiously loud growl; a whine to let her know it had been a while since she’d eaten, paired with a demand to sort it out. She let out a frustrated groan, and he seemed to find her reluctance funny. She rather politely kicked herself out of his warm bed to shower and start the day, with a promise of food waiting in the kitchen once he’d done the same. 

As his guest she wasn’t about to let him cook for her; she wanted to do something nice for him, to say thank you. She showered and dressed quickly, breezing past his door to let him know she was done and headed into the kitchen to see about making breakfast.

oOo

Clyde was kind of a light sleeper, he always had been, so when she jolted awake, he felt it and tried to ignore the fact that his- he wasn’t sure what to call her at this stage- was clearly confused as to her whereabouts; it was preferable to the nightmare (he’d have to ask at some point what she’d dreamed happened to him). He also realised he was in a rather precarious position; first, he had been holding her tight against his chest and while that was fine for him, he figured it might be a little stifling for her. Second, he had woken up harder than he could remember being. Body moving faster than brain once again.

When he loosened his grip, she didn’t move away, instead, she coiled herself around him like a snake… he guessed that made him her prey. ‘What a way to go’ he thought contentedly; still, he was mortified to think she’d feel how achingly hard he was. She’d probably understand, but there was no way in hell he wanted to give her the chance to figure out that it wasn’t just the fact it was morning that this was happening. His own dreams had betrayed him and here she was nuzzling into his chest like... He lost his train of thought when he caught sight of her satisfied smile; Fuck that was cute.

No! He had to keep his head. He really liked the fact there was no pressure, no anxiety existing between them right now and he didn’t want to cause a change in atmosphere. Clyde saw nothing wrong with seeking touch or closeness for the sake of it and the fact she had come to him was quite a big deal; but right now, he was far too concerned with his body’s reaction to feel relaxed as he had been. He was both parent and child, scolding and reminding himself that if he wanted this to happen again, she needed to remain unaware to feel comfortable enough to want to... He ended up being saved by the bell; Well, technically the growl. He’d almost let out a relieved laugh at the fact she was hungry. 

She politely excused herself and he was equally courteous in declining to shower first, he was not about to stand up in his state. She’d ducked out of his room and by the time he heard the water running, there had been no change. He let out a frustrated sigh and set about grabbing clothes; this was decidedly worse he thought with a hint of annoyance. She was just down the hall, he could hear her humming and his mind continually drifted to the fact that she was in _his_ shower. Fuck, he was worse than a teenager and thinking about the fact she was naked was not doing wonders for his situation. 

Thank heavens for small mercies; she didn’t pop back in to let him know she was done and heading to fix breakfast. Listening for her fading footsteps he headed quick as he could for the lockable bathroom door.

Okay, he was safe in the bathroom, the door was locked, everything was fine… Well mostly fine; he was past willing his erection away, it just wasn’t going to happen quickly enough to not be suspicious, and he couldn’t get his second brain to stop presenting him with ‘ideas’. He thought about taking a cold shower but honestly, he wasn’t keen on starting his day hard, freezing and miserable. Weighing his options, an exasperated groan escaped his throat and he ran his hand down his face; if he hadn’t been so damn close to her he probably would have been fine, the lack of intimacy in his life had left him wanting more than ever and he couldn’t escape the fact that her scent clung to him and made him feel hazy or that the feel of her body was burned into his flesh. It was the perfect storm really.

Going through the motions and stripping off, he stepped under the spray, letting warm water run through his hair and down his back seeking to relieve his tense muscles. Guilty as he felt, he really needed a different type of relief. No longer actively trying to stop himself spiralling, he wrapped his hand around his cock and swallowed a moan at the much-needed contact. Taking languid strokes at first, he concentrated less on creating visions (not wanting to feel even worse for what he was doing) and more on the feeling of building his orgasm, slowly increasing his pace he was already well on the way, feeling sensitive and far more responsive to stimulation than usual. 

His breathing picked up as he began to draw closer and he let out a low groan as he changed his pace and pressure. He was used to being alone and had to remember not to make a sound; not that he was all that vocal to begin with, but he didn’t want to forget himself with Rey just down the hall. 

Losing himself in a haze of sensation, everything felt tense as he climbed toward his peak. Trying to muffle yet another involuntary moan, he crumpled in on himself. Trying to keep his breathing controlled he bit his lip and was almost convinced he could still taste her watermelon lip balm, that almost did him in. The fleeting thought of her perfectly kissable lips wrapped around his cock sent sparks of ecstasy through his body, causing him to roll his neck and let his head drop back as he became almost frantic with his ministrations. 

Like a bowstring pulled taught he could only keep himself on the edge for so long. When he came, he came hard; a soundless scream caught in his throat, while every muscle in his body seemed to contract, he coated his hand with his spend, only for it to be washed away leaving him clean and perhaps absolved. Feeling a little lightheaded as he came down, his sensation slowly returned, and he sucked in a few deep breaths as he twitched at random intervals timed with the hammering of his pulse; her name was hanging in the air in front of him, the only uninhibited sound he’d made. 

Moments later there was a knock on the door and he jumped with a loud curse as he lost his balance and snatched it back before he slipped. There was a split second of dread as he tried to remember locking the door before he managed to respond with a somewhat shaky;

“Yeah?”

“Sorry if I startled you; breakfast is almost ready, I just thought I’d let you know.”

She sounded chirpy and a little nervous and he prayed that if she had heard anything, the earth would split open and swallow him whole before he had to step out of his bathroom. Through gritted teeth he swore at himself, realising he had no idea how long he’d been in the shower at this point. He quickly washed his hair, dried off and pulled on shorts and a faded AC/DC shirt he’d stolen from Jimmy. He was in such a hurry, he accidentally put it on inside out; only noticing when he went to slip on his prosthetic and saw the seam on his shoulder. Putting himself to rights, he practically bolted into the kitchen where he found her still wearing his clothes and in the middle of flipping a pancake with no spatula. 

She had her hair out; it was an odd thing to notice but he had never seen it free of her three buns and he was struck by how feminine it made her look. Soft chestnut waves framed her face, falling gently to her shoulders. She looked like an absolute vision, fresh-faced and a little flushed from the heat of the stove. 

She caught him staring and he couldn’t help his blush, feeling a small amount of residual guilt over what he’d been up to before she had knocked; did she know? he felt his heart fluttering in his chest as his anxiety bubbled to the surface, anticipating embarrassment. 

Taking a deep breath to calm himself he was overwhelmed by the smell, he didn’t even think before following his nose, stepping into the kitchen and almost immediately noticing that she had burned the bacon just a little. Jesus, she really was perfect. 

“Anything I can help with?”

“No, I think I have it in… I-I made coffee!”

“You were going t’say you had it in hand, weren’t you?”

He was trying hard not to laugh and even harder not to look guilty, she flushed a deeper shade of red and looked sheepish. Convincing himself that she wasn’t cracking a joke about the fact he had just gotten off; seeing as he was constantly catching himself on similar slips, their mutual sense humour was never taken the wrong way. He was absolutely avoiding the possibility she had heard him in the shower; complete and total denial.

oOo

With little else to do but watch her work, he made sure plates were out on the bench and the table was set before she finished up breakfast; he grabbed them both generous mugs of coffee before sitting down and tucking in together. She was an amazing cook. He didn’t care how simple she said it was; she hadn’t even asked how he liked his eggs, but she got it on a guess; he preferred scrambled and hers were on par with his Mommas; even mentally he couldn’t bring himself to say they were better for fear of invoking her wrath (she always seemed to know).

Rey had looked almost annoyed when he started to comment on the bacon (he was rather a quiet eater which she seemed to think meant he was eating to be polite), but once she figured out the idiom he used was praise, she was more than happy to talk about the fact that people who didn’t like it that way were heathens. 

It was the most domestic thing he could ever remember doing with someone who wasn’t family and he really loved it. It made him realise that he wanted this more than he wanted everything else; comfortable mornings where he was less concerned with being polite and proper, holding her close and having breakfast together, the thought of a different kind of breakfast surfaced and he pushed it back down before it became an issue. 

The kind of companionship they had (even as friends) was what his life had been missing all this time and he was dying to tell her, but it would have to wait. He bit his tongue and sat there half enjoying the fact he was sharing it with her and half wondering why he hadn’t just said what he’d been thinking and coming up with new and creative ways to call himself an idiot. 

Over breakfast they bantered back and forth, he had to admit he rather liked being told he was better than a heater and she was sufficiently indignant about being informed of her light snoring. Eventually, he worked up the courage to ask about her nightmare and when she turned pink he thought for a moment that she would clam up; instead, she told him about what she saw and explained that she only had those nightmares about people she couldn’t bear to lose. Apparently, she had them about Finn and Poe too and he caught the fact that she let on more than she intended in saying that she didn’t dream of them as often in comparison; it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was saying she cared. 

Her nightmare had mostly revolved around Plutt restraining her and forcing her to watch as he tortured him and his family. What she described was a messy and bloody scene and he could see it was haunting her, yet another look he knew all too well (he had it, and so did most of his unit after being deployed). It sickened him to know that it was likely she had seen it happen to someone and had adopted it as a subconscious fear, placing herself into the situation. 

When he tentatively asked about it, she freely confirmed it. Apparently, Plutt had a vast number of interests and a penchant for collecting debts (money, favours, you name it). It made sense that he would torture someone who couldn’t pay up, considering what he was doing to Rey. 

Despite being new to telling him the truth about her life, she looked comfortable; no trace of nerves, maybe the occasional hint of shame but otherwise, she seemed glad to be able to get it off her chest. There wasn’t much he could say in the face of her hardships, other than let it fuel the rage burning away in his chest. 

The more she revealed, the more he wanted to kill her ex-guardian himself. At some point in the conversation, he wondered out loud why he hadn’t been arrested; Rey simply replied that he had a few cops in his back pocket or made sure there was someone to take the fall. 

Well, that did it; if the law had failed he was absolutely going to take it into his own hands ‘Hand? Ugh, there I go again…’

Despite changing the subject, Clyde found himself lingering on thoughts of how hard it must have been to lead such an uncertain life; no wonder she was reluctant to make her feelings known, no one had ever reciprocated them to the same extent. He was resolved to show her how much she was wanted and needed and loved. 

He’d always had his family to remind him of that and after putting himself in Rey’s shoes what he wanted, more than anything was to visit his Momma; it had been far too long, and something was telling him that he needed to take Rey there with him soon. His Momma had a way of loving everyone and Rey would be no exception (especially considering she had been going on about him settling down for years and would be over the moon to know he met someone).

After washing up he had time to talk himself out of asking her to stay. It wasn’t his place to ask her to leave Plutt behind, she had taken a big enough step accepting his help for one night, he couldn’t push his luck, or he might very well frighten her off. He just had to hope the storm at Plutt’s had passed when she inevitably decided it was time to go. Wanting to leave things on a good note he promised himself that when she did, he wouldn’t ruin things by speaking out. He could tell she was hiding the fact she was worried, but at least he would see her again in a matter of hours and be able to check in with her then; he still didn’t like the fact that the meantime was out of his control.

oOo

On the plus side (or maybe minus from her perspective), her reluctance to leave meant she had time for one more awkward conversation; he didn’t want to make her feel rushed and with the way he felt about her, he was far too likely to say something stupid like ‘I love you’ if he tried to define whatever they were. She had beat him to the punch and all he had managed to catch was ‘will' and 'boyfriend’; he had to fill in the blanks and was more than happy to cheekily reply that he was very sorry to disappoint because he had a date with his girlfriend Wednesday if she happened to be free.

Rey had beamed up at him with that sunshiny smile he loved so much and there was little he could do to stop himself leaning down to kiss her. As soon as her beat-up Ford was out of sight, it turned bittersweet. Clyde went back inside to call his sister.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, feel free to leave comments, feedback, Kudos, suggestions; I welcome conversation and love to hear from you. 
> 
> I have the next chapter half written, so the next update should be over the next day or two.
> 
> Ta  
> xo Em


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the other half of the lemon coming right up lovelies :) (has nothing to do with the following though)
> 
> warnings: violence, mentions of past physical abuse, 1x unwanted sexual advance, implied ongoing sexual harassment & an unsuccessful attempt at coercion... aka Plutt is a huge asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, after accidentally deleting like half of this chapter and having to rewrite it; here it is... sorry for the wait 
> 
>  
> 
> this one will start off a little sweet but will deal with a couple of issues I've been meaning to bring up. the first is Plutt and what Rey goes through living with him. the second you'll just have to read for the explanation.

oOo

In a word Clyde looked reluctant as she walked down his drive backwards, not wanting to take her eyes off him. They’d spent a chaste night and a wonderful morning together, switching between serious and jovial and it had been perfect… the only imperfect thing was the fact that it had to end; but Rey headed for her truck feeling more than a little giddy for the following reasons;

First and foremost; Clyde Logan knew a thing or two about kissing a woman and she was incredibly appreciative. A sweet, shy gentleman who had a raw talent for making her weak at the knees, who could ask for more? It left her tingling in all the right places and she had been about three seconds away from banging him like a screen door in a hurricane (which was fitting considering that the front door was the nearest available surface). By the time she was halfway back to the scrapyard, she was pent up and in desperate need of a little relief just thinking about other things he might be talented at; so much so, it overshadowed how worried she was about facing Plutt. 

Second: She wasn’t kidding about how desperate she was for said relief, she was half tempted to find a secluded spot to pull over. He had managed to keep quiet enough not to alert her to the fact he was jacking off in the shower as she cooked, she just happened to be in the right place at the right time to hear him moan her name. A spark of pride ran through her when she realised what he had been doing, there was a flash of negativity before she decided it was actually rather a compliment in a roundabout kind of way; besides it was the best kind of confirmation and knickers were kind of damp, her mouth was watering, and before she could stop herself, she was stuck in limbo; her body daring her to do something about it and her brain ordering her to add it to the list of things about him she could get off to later. 

Not wanting the food to burn (well, the bacon she didn’t mind but she didn’t want it to end up charcoal) she had rushed back down the hall after squeaking out a far too cheery apology and tried to stop her mind from wandering to what it might feel like if he bent her over the benchtop and had his wicked way with her. It didn’t really work and after that, she was mercifully distracted by his appearance in the kitchen. 

Her inner muscles had involuntarily fluttered at the sight of him and she had to bite her cheek to hold back whatever sound was threatening to break through; his hair was half dry, curling slightly and his shirt was clinging to his body in the most tantalizing manner as he stood at the end of the hall, casually watching her. If she had been just a little braver she would have forgotten about breakfast and made a meal of him instead (‘awfully brave thoughts for a virgin’ she had mused at the time).

Third: the word girlfriend had passed his lips and the echoes continued to ricochet around her head as she drove; trying to deal with how purely overjoyed she was knowing he wanted that with her. A week ago, she had been ready to resign herself to the friend zone and leave it a- the destiny dripping off the situation hit her like a ton of bricks, pulling her thoughts up short. 

So many things had to happen for them to admit how they felt about one another. So many dominoes had to fall and if one was missing or out of alignment she would still be pining for him like some lovesick fool. If he hadn’t walked into the diner or had been a little less observant, if she had told a more convincing lie, none of this would have happened. 

She wondered if he was feeling the same way. Like they’d been given some kind of divine chance, but wasn’t that how all love stories started?

oOo

She pulled into her space in front of the ‘Unkle’s Junkyard’ sign (yes it was really spelled like that, he said it was to make light of the fact everyone got his name wrong) and immediately slipped into the hardened persona she saved for home, if there was ever a libido killer it was the prospect of dealing with her boss. Grabbing her purse off the passenger seat, she steeled herself before opening the gate and heading toward the office.

Plutt was always easier to manipulate after midday on the weekends, he was usually half buzzed by then and she hoped he was far enough along to get away with the fact her wad of cash was light. She had already used up her emergency stash and hadn’t had the time to skim a little off the top of her winnings since, so she was stuck with what she had. Her pride wouldn’t allow anyone else to help her, she had outright refused when Clyde had offered before she left; telling him that whatever he gave her would only fund someone else’s less than legal enterprises. He had been about to argue when she had crushed her lips to his and effectively ended the conversation moments before leaving. She wondered when she had become the type to want to do such a thing but honestly, time spent doing anything else was time wasted. 

Kicking up dust as she walked along the dry dirt path, she didn’t spare a glance for the wasteland she called home. Opening the door to the office as quietly as she could, her eyes searched for evidence of Plutt’s drinking and she found he was further along that she initially thought. 

‘Good, He’ll be far easier to trick.’ She thought smugly. 

Winding her way back through to the living room she found her ex-guardian looking like an upturned turtle on the couch. His sweaty, gelatinous mass taking up almost the entire thing. How such a man managed to run a gang of thugs let alone stand was beyond her, but here he was, and here she was practically bowing before him as she presented her meagre scavenge. 

His beady eyes traversed her frame, making her feel transparent as she waited for him to offer judgement. She handed over the money and his glassy gaze seemed to focus solely on the fact he was being handed money rather than how much. She realised he had to be fairly drunk to be so slow to speak, she did all she could not to roll her eyes as he stumbled and slurred his words. 

“s’alright I s’pose… the fuck were you last nigh’ though ‘uh?”

She tried to hide her relief at his acceptance. Her absence she could deal with; he didn’t really care where she’d been he was simply stirring the pot. Hopefully, he would let her put the money away and she could hide it amongst the rest of his loot. 

“I went for a drive, fell asleep in the truck, I’m sorry Unkar.”

He grunted his displeasure and she, in turn, held out her hand for the money while she suppressed her disgust after sighting the discoloured sweat patches on his third-day singlet.

“I’ll put it with the rest and write it up.”

“alrigh’ girl, then you c’n grab me another beer ‘n’ fuck off until you have to cook dinner…” 

She did what she was told quickly and quietly before retreating to the safety of her room. At least she had managed to avoid a beating. Luck had been on her side, though once he sobered up that might run out. 

Staring at the four walls of the bedroom she considered a cell, she found herself wondering what life might be like if she ever managed to get away from Plutt. She had never really dared before, not wanting to long for what she couldn’t have; but the past day and a half had given her more hope than she had realised. If she got away she could stop hustling, stop messing with stolen cars, maybe she could become a mechanic? make an honest living. If she did, would she have a place of her own? Somewhere Finn and Poe could visit? A place she could be proud of? Would she share it with someone? It would be a long way in the future, but would he want to share that with her? 

It was a very pretty daydream but unfortunately, she was jolted out of it by Plutt screaming his head off at whatever game he was watching. Sighing to herself she grabbed her headphones and her beat up iPod and started her ‘Unkar’s Drunk Again’ playlist. Skipping through tracks until she found something she felt like listening to, she stared at the ceiling and let her mind go blank. 

Songs and time blended into one another and she found herself back where she had started that morning, though decidedly more bored. After getting up to check her door was locked, she made sure her curtains were drawn (she didn't need to accidentally give Plutt's handsy gang a view). She pulled up the hem of her shirt and slipped out of her shorts in a hurry, dipping a hand below the waistband of her underwear and running two fingers through her slick folds. 

Teasing herself by lightly circling her clit, she felt weird actively thinking about Clyde while she did it. For a brief moment, she wondered if he had felt the same but the next second her restraint faltered, and she added a little pressure, making herself see stars. 

She knew it was a little bit wrong, but it wasn’t like it was the first time she had thought about him over the past couple of months; usually it was a fleeting thing, she would get a flash of him in her mind’s eye and it would either push her over the edge or build her up higher depending on where she was up to. Hearing the tail end of his shower made her realise that he was likely just as frustrated as she was trying to keep him out of her thoughts at times like this. 

It’s a tricky thing to want someone you see all the time, hiding the embarrassment when she did let her mind wander to him and coming face to face with him after, or the flush of arousal when he did something seemingly innocuous, like whisper over the bar when he wanted to make a snarky observation. More often than not their game of chicken landed her right where she was currently. She liked his quick wit and dark humour, but sometimes he made her want to jump the bar; He would do or say something sweet and she would want to melt, he had a way with words even though he often put himself down for the way he spoke; to Rey he was the most eloquent person she’d ever met and that wasn’t the end of it; she loved how expressive he was, once she looked closer. She wanted to catalogue every little expression, tick and mannerism; she liked the way his eyes followed her sometimes. She had thought it was just platonic interest but now understood the heat carefully concealed behind it… he’d looked at her like that when he kissed her. He was complex and patched up, but he was perfect to her. 

There were the times she would look at him and see past the façade he wore for the benefit of his patrons and his family. When he thought no one was looking it would slip and she would see him unguarded and could glimpse the shy, lonely man who kept his chin up and had his eyes wide open to the world, observing everyone without assuming and yet unable to see the beauty in himself. That was the part of him she had fallen for first once she had moved past the superficial attraction and infatuation. 

But that attraction certainly didn’t make life easier when she was constantly keyed up. As much as she wished she could stop imagining his fingers or his tongue in place of her own, it was all she wanted. For now, she was happy to take things slow, but she knew that it wouldn’t be long before she lost her resolve. He was the first man to make her see that she really could have it all; the physical and the emotional in perfect balance. 

But back to focusing on the physical; Rey was slowly losing patience with herself, she had been in dire need of an orgasm since early morning and wanted to move things along. Picking up a little speed she alternated between swirling circles and smooth vertical strokes, stopping every once in a while to gather a little of her own wetness, aiding the process. After a little while, she switched things up, slipping one finger then another into her pussy. Her focus slipped and allowed an unbidden thought to slip into the forefront of her mind; his fingers would be far more satisfying. 

It made her feel a little sleazy, lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, thinking about how he might put his hands on her, or the way his arse looked in dark wash denim jeans (no it wasn’t weird that she checked him out!), his broad shoulders (was that a thing?) how his fingers would stretch her perfectly. But she was well on her way to a much-needed orgasm and past caring (she’d deal with it later); she kept up her pace before returning attention to her clit, trying to push herself over the edge that much faster. 

Okay maybe she was a lot sleazy when the thought of how he might react to catching her like this popped into her head, making her hit her climax with a shudder and a quiet sigh that really wanted to be a whimper. She was well practised in keeping quiet and usually she managed just fine but this time she had to bite her lip to the point of breaking the skin to stop herself crying out. 

Feeling sated, weightless and sleepy she pressed her other hand against her forehead, feeling hot and a little clammy before drifting into oblivion.

oOo

When Rey woke half an hour later she threw her shorts back on, fixed her hair into its usual three buns and headed out into the scrapyard to avoid Plutt’s aggravating blustering about how poorly his team were playing this year.

Hidden behind piles of rusty metal, scrapped cars and refuse were her beloved projects. One or two awful sculptures from her art phase, the chassis of a 1970 Rebel SST she had been putting back together and a mannequin made of twisted bits of metal and mattress stuffing (to stop her jarring her hands), that served as her sparring partner when she had the time to practice with her hand-made staff (or as target practice when Plutt left her in charge and his gun in the top drawer of his desk). 

Picking her staff up from its hiding place, she let her mind go blank as she ran through her forms. By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, her muscles were burning and sweat dripped into her eyes. She wiped her face on her top and headed back inside to fix something for Plutt before he decided to look for her. It was a Saturday, but for once there were no races on. Still, she needed to get a start on meeting her quota, which meant keeping her promise to see Clyde. 

Smiling to herself as she chopped vegetables she was distracted and didn’t hear Plutt coming. Had she been paying attention she would have dropped everything and found sanctuary; she knew his stages of drunkenness well enough by now to know that stomping around meant trouble. He materialised in front of her and snatched the hand holding the knife before she could react. 

His voice was low and venomous, and his speech was no longer slurred; he was drunk, but he was furious and that cancelled out the impediment. 

“The Hutts just left… You were meant to remind me this morning, but you weren’t here, then you disappeared, again!”

She felt her stomach drop and the room began to spin. She had completely forgotten about the Hutts and Unkar had been drinking all afternoon, that didn’t bode well for his fledgeling reputation; to meet the Hutts, drunk off his ass and in his underwear. He’d been brokering a partnership with them for goodness knows how long and she had forgotten they were coming to discuss logistics. Her chest began to constrict as she began to anticipate what was coming. If she hadn’t been so filled with dread, she might have laughed at the fact she got away with being short, only to fuck up something else.

Plutt was gripping her wrist painfully tight and she could feel the pressure of it in the bones of her wrist. He pulled her closer and she winced knowing there’d be bruises later. 

“I ask so little of you and you make me look like a fool… You’re an ungrateful little cunt!”

She could hear the unrestrained rage in his voice and it was only a matter of time before he…

She didn’t get to finish the thought; he swung and his palm cracked against her cheek, her head snapped to the side almost comically. 

Falling to her knees she was glad it hadn’t been a closed fist. He dragged her up by her top bun and held her in front of his pudgy face. 

“You will pay for your failure one way or another, Girl!” 

He hissed his words at her and a little bit of spittle hit her in the face. This was the part where he gave her a choice. The handful of times she had supposedly earned his ultimatums told her it would be the same options; take a beating or give him something he wanted. 

She always took the beating. It was preferable to debasing herself for him, though at least he gave her a choice and never touched her when he was sober.

oOo

God knows how many bruises later, she dragged herself into the bathroom. Stripping off and inspecting her blossoming bruises in the mirror, it wasn’t as bad as she had thought. She was sore, but her pain was more of a general sensation rather than tied to specific points. She wondered if his leniency had been due to the drinking; he’d tossed her about a bit, slammed her into a wall once or twice (thus the bruises), but hadn’t actually struck her properly for all his trying, too uncoordinated to manage a proper kick or land a half decent punch.

Based on past experience; and it had been a while since he’d been a little rough with her, he had practically been gentle. Pressing a cold, wet hand against her face to soothe the hot, insistent throb where he had slapped her. She turned on the shower and hardly used any cold water at all, not wanting to feel stiffer than she already did. 

By the time she got out, the welt on her cheek looked less angry. She dried off, dressed, grabbed her keys and disappeared out the door before Plutt could say or do anything more, leaving half cut vegetables on the benchtop, the only evidence she had been there at all.

Every breath felt sharp and made her ribs ache, but she was determined to get to her car and go anywhere, thankful he hadn’t done more damage. At least this time she could go out in public; the last time she had been a mess; split lip, black eye… she looked like she’d gone a few rounds in the octagon (maybe that was where Plutt got his inspiration). 

She didn’t know how long she drove for but eventually she managed to clear her head and decided that she wasn’t going to let the afternoon deter her from enjoying herself, there were still positives to be found. She turned around and headed for Duck Tape, just skirting the speed limit, hoping to make it back before opening.

oOo

The second Rey’s car disappeared over the hill, Clyde went inside and called his sister. Mellie picked up on the third ring and he said three words he knew would have her on his doorstep in less than twenty minutes.

“I told her.”

He was rather surprised she didn’t scream, cry or do something equally ridiculous, he wondered if she had passed out, that’s how silent she was; Then, he heard a car door slam at almost the same moment the call ended leaving him listening to that annoying continuous dial tone. 

True to his estimate, Mellie knocked on his door eighteen minutes later. She looked a little dishevelled but otherwise excited. He opened the door and she made a beeline for the couch, flopping onto it with a quiet ‘oof’

“So, you gonna tell me what happened, or do I need to get it out o’ya?”

“You were right Mels. I mean, I didn’t believe you at first, but you were right.”

“Clyde Logan, I don’t want my ego stroked; right now, I want details!”

“I ran into her last night at Chewie’s, we had dinner and got talkin’ and she admitted to kinda likin’ me, so I kissed her.” 

“Aaand? Clyde, you didn’t call me because it all went swimminly, what happened?”

“A lot happened, and I’ll have you know it did go swimminly… Mostly; but that’s beside the point. I need t’know if y’know where the Bang brothers are hidin’ out? Don’t argue, I know y’had a thing with Joe, I’m not here t’judge you, I just need t’know…”

“What’s that got to do with you finally makin’ a move on Rey?”

“She’s in trouble Mellie… She ever tell you why she cons folks in my bar? What she does f’r a livin’?”

“No, she’s been pretty tight-lipped about it.”

Clyde told his sister _almost_ everything he knew. About his own interactions with ‘Uncle’ Plutt and a little of what Rey had told him. She reacted as expected, with shock and concern, then recognition as she realised she had likely seen Rey at some race or other, but always from a distance and under a nom de guerre. He also explained why Rey had stayed the night but left out where she had slept. Mellie was over the moon despite the situation and that he lacked the kind of details she wanted; she stated rather bluntly she was just glad he would get laid eventually; his response had been a frosty glare that melted when she began to backtrack nervously (his hard stare got her every time, even if he was seriously creeped out by his sister being so invested in his non-existent sex life).

By the time he reached the end, she was shoving Joe’s number into his hand and immediately dialled Jimmy, handing the phone over when it started ringing. 

“Mellie, I swear if you-

“Cauliflower.”

Another dial tone... Clyde called right back, trying to stop himself being annoyed. He’d gotten Clyde into enough scrapes and when he was the one being asked… Well, he was always reluctant, to say the least. He was incredibly surprised Jimmy picked up after the fourth call rang out. 

“You remember that bet we made, the night I met Rey?”

“Uh…Yeah?”

“Remember those get out of jail frees?”

“Yeah… Why?”

“You didn’t get em; now get your ass over to my place, I need your help.”

It was Clyde’s turn to cut him off, though it was far from satisfying on a cell phone. The only thing he didn’t like about modern phones was that he couldn’t slam them back onto the hook with ear-splitting finality.

oOo

Clyde and Mellie decided to work on fixing lunch while they waited for Jimmy; nothing fancy, just sandwiches. They left a few for Jimmy and he fielded her questions about Rey as they ate.

Eventually, rather than deal with her incessant nattering, he decided to tell her what he had planned for Wednesday night, just to keep her quiet. He’d told Rey he would keep it simple and he intended to stick to that; a movie, coffee or dinner was playing it safe, but after… Well, he had one idea he thought she might like (not like that!).

One of his favourite spots to go when he wanted to be on his own or just forget about life for a while was Drawdy falls. They weren’t particularly awe-inspiring, spectacular or grand, but he liked that. It was calm and not overpowering like some waterfalls tended to be. He still liked seeing those but when he felt like escaping, knowing Drawdy was twenty minutes down the road gave him an uncomplicated feeling of joy and peace. 

At night it was even better, the clearing by the creek was perfect for watching the stars on a clear night and maybe he was a bit of a sap for liking that kind of thing, but sometimes it was all he could stand to do when he couldn’t sleep or tolerate being trapped inside the confines of his room.

He’d stay out there all night long, listening to the water and the intermittent sounds of cars passing and imagine what it would be like to just leave earth and go somewhere else; somewhere better. 

The last time he’d stayed there the entire night, for no other reason than he wanted to, was the night before he joined the army. He’d dragged Jimmy and Mellie out with him and after they decided it was too late to be out, he’d stayed and waited for the sun to rise through the trees. 

It’d looked different when he came home; like the magic had gone right out of the place. It ended up being somewhere he knew he wouldn’t run into anybody; then he got the bar and found himself only going when he needed to feel like the world was bigger than him and his problems. 

Now he only needed to go there once in a blue moon, and slowly as he readjusted, started living his life again, Drawdy falls got its magic back. Despite the rather depressing reasons he liked the place, he wanted to share it with Rey to make it something new; No longer a place where he felt he had to hide from the entire world, but somewhere they could hide together, under a canopy of branches and stars, listening to the water rush over stone. 

Mellie seemed to like the idea and offered her own improvements (namely packing snacks and cocoa) before begging him to make sure he didn’t let the poor girl freeze out there. He argued that it was hardly cold yet and was left dealing with a semi-grumpy baby sister who rattled off reasons he wouldn’t feel the cold as keenly as Rey. Her main argument that he was a hulking mass of a man, who was too tall to feel the cold because cold air sinks and hot air rises.

They’d been in the middle of debating that point when Jimmy finally turned up.

“Alright, I’m here. The fuck you got cookin’ that you had to drag me out from under my truck, on my day off, when you know it’s been givin’ me trouble?” 

Clyde saw an opportunity to rile his brother up, so he decided to be as vague as possible for as long as possible.

“I needed your help with somethin’.”

Jimmy ground his forehead into his hand before growling out a request for specifics.

“Alright; we’re going t’do something about Uncle Plutt. Dunno what, but something, and we got’ta make sure there’s _no_ innocent collateral.”

“Okay, why Plutt? I mean if you wanna go all Robin Hood and take down one of those gangster types, there’s always a Hutt or two getting ‘emselves in the shit…”

“Because Rey’s stuck with him.”

“Jesus, Clyde, you shoulda said. This ‘aint no ‘cauliflower’ business, she’s family, I’d’ve been here no questions asked.”

Clyde was sufficiently silenced by his brother’s reassurance. But the moment Mellie and Jimmy started talking to each other like he wasn’t there, he found himself trying to interrupt to no avail.

“Jimmy, did he tell you he finally asked her out!”

“Not in so many words, but he did tell me I lost that bet. Not that I ever intended on winnin’, Sylvia’d be mad as hell…Prob’ly give me a shot as punishment. Might get one anyway for messin’ with Clyde like that, but he needed the push or he’d’ve died pinin’ for her.”

“Yeah, I know, and you’d deserve it too, still I’m surprised your plan was better th’n mine though; how is Sylvia by the way?”

“Good; back on Tuesday, you nosy lil…”

“HEY!!! I’m still here!”

Jimmy and Mellie shared a look that said ‘RUN’ but both mimicked deer in headlights instead, frozen in place. 

“The hell’re you two talking about?”

He looked at both of them and almost went to cross his arms like he used to when he got angry at his siblings but caught himself before he did. Mellie answered in her sweet as pie ‘I did nothing wrong’ voice, but he wasn’t buying it and frankly it was making things worse, usually, that voice meant lies or half-truths and it set him off every time.

“We’re just talkin’ bout’ Jimmy’s girl, Sylvia Harrison, you remember her? from high school?”

“That wasn’t all. You’re tellin’ me that the two of you conspired, behind my back t’get me t’make a move on Rey, without knowin’ how she’d take it?”

Mellie dropped her initial tone, realising that he wasn’t kidding. He was hurt, and she knew it. She looked guilty and he stopped himself from apologising for shouting at her, he wasn’t done yet and his anger was still burning in his lungs, so it was rather easy to hold his tongue. 

“Not exactly… I mean yeah we ‘conspired’ a lil bit, but I knew exactly how she’d take it.”

“Mellie it wasn’t your place to interfere! Did you tell her anythin’, say anythin’ to try to convince her?! Jesus, I can’t-”

“Clyde. Benjamin. Logan! Are you accusin’ me of influencin’ that girl into goin’ out with you? You better hope not!”

Alright, maybe he’d gone too far that time, Mellie looked pained spitting back her retort. He lowered his head and his voice before continuing for three reasons; first, his anger had been pulled out from under him and he was overwhelmingly hurt to think Rey had only been doing him a favour because his sister had stuck her nose in. Second, he didn’t want to hurt Mellie more than he already had, and third, he just felt defeated, tired and like he wanted to curl up in his bed, that smelled like her shampoo, with a bottle of whiskey and never come back out. 

He phrased his next sentence carefully, hoping that he might diffuse the situation enough to carry out his pathetic plan. 

“I’m not accusin’ you, I’m asking, there’s a difference…You know what, I don’t even wanna-”

“Didn’t Momma always tell us not to lie? I know y’think it’s all too good to be true, but y’can’t tell me you don’t wanna know; so, you’re gonna sit down, shut up and let me tell you a thing or two. That girl liked you the first second she saw you, I just helped move things along a little. You’re so shy it hurts, y’never let anyone in and she didn’t know what she was doin’, but she wanted to get t’know you. Y’didn’t see her when she thought y’didn’t want her the way she wanted you. We got drunk a couple weeks back and after she let it slip, she was so embarrassed she cried for like an hour; sure, she got through another bottle of wine while she did it, that girl can drink like a fish; but don’t you dare try t’suggest her intentions were any less th’n pure. I know it looks like I might’ve, but I hardly had t’meddle at all. I shoulda known better than t’keep it from ya, I’m sorry for that… But I’m not sorry f’r my part in makin’ sure y’didn’t push her away.”

Jimmy decided to weigh in, while Clyde tried to repair the cracks the early stages of his destructive thoughts had caused. It was a bitter pill to admit he’d assumed wrongly but it still stung.

“She’s right, besides, you two might never’ve got off the ground without a lil push in the right direction. I’d never seen y’look at a girl like that and she was looking right back at you. So, Mellie and I stuck our noses where they didn’t belong, it was wrong but y’should know we had good intentions.”

“Did y’ever plan on tellin’ me the truth, that you were both in on it?”

“‘Course we did, but does the truth matter now?”

Clyde shook his head, unable to get his vocal chords to loosen up enough to speak. It didn’t matter, not really. He should have been thanking his brother and sister, but good things never seemed to happen to him and if they did it never lasted long. While he hated doubting all three of them; his concept of happiness was as fragile as glass and easily shattered, leaving his own self-doubt to come pouring out, dragging his low sense of self-worth, anxiety and insecurity along in its wake. 

To think for even one moment that it hadn’t been real, was more than a betrayal, it was humiliating, and he didn’t know if he could wear that, because he certainly couldn’t have concealed it when his siblings had been the ones to facilitate it. He panicked and lashed out.

He knew he should have had more faith in them, more faith in himself; but it was so easy to fall in to the trap of listening to his self-loathing inner voice. It had a habit of telling him he was wasn’t worth loving and he sometimes forgot that it wasn’t to be trusted. 

The three of them sat in silence a while and eventually Mellie came and sat beside him, leaning into his shoulder, a silent apology and acceptance. 

“I’m sorry f’r what I said; t’both of you.”

“We know y’are. I didn’t think about how it might’ve looked-”

“It’s not about that Jimmy; I was scared and I reacted. There’s no excu-”

“How ‘bout we all just accept we’re all sorry and leave it there? Why don’t you tell us what you’ve got planned for Plutt?”

It was an excellent distraction and an olive branch Clyde was more than happy to take.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As ever, feel free to leave comments, feedback or kudos; you've all been so amazing and encouraging so far and it really keeps me going to know that there are people interested and liking what I'm doing :) 
> 
>  
> 
> I do put updates up on Tumblr occasionally and plan on being more proactive with it in future; if you'd like to check it out and fan over reylo or other ships catch me @emilythenotsostrange
> 
> till next time   
> xo Em


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no warnings  
> but a lot of introspection :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I know I said this would be up last night but I went back to edit before posting and somehow managed to lose like half of my work when my computer shut itself down for no good reason. 
> 
> sorry... 
> 
> anyways, I re-wrote it and here it is :)  
> be warned, even the plan is slow burn... but I'm going to try to make up for it by distracting all of you with fluff as it progresses  
> a few points on this chapter -  
> 1\. I am not subtle with my throw in of 'you're nothing but not to me' it was always gonna happen :)  
> 2\. 'I have no place in this story'... I couldn't resist that line because it's sort of true :)   
> 3\. headcanon: The Logan family breaks things when they're upset (Clyde leaves bottles out the front of the bar for therapy purposes so they won't break his glasses. It happened once and Clyde decided to make sure they were stocked with alternatives after that). 
> 
> anyhoo- enjoy :)

oOo

The idea Clyde had been developing wasn’t exactly simple. He wasn’t deluded enough to think the law would be concerned with Plutt coercing or blackmailing Rey; he didn’t trust the system, but he was relying on it to accept evidence and put Plutt away.

Meaning either Rey had to turn informant and hope the book wasn’t thrown at her too; or, Clyde had to figure out a way to have Plutt caught red-handed. 

There was always running him out of town, but that was the backup for the backup or hiring someone to… Nope! they weren’t doing that; murder one was not an option, no matter how much merit the idea seemed to have. 

Finding something Plutt had touched personally would be relatively difficult, He explained to his siblings that as it was, they had no idea how many pies he had fingers in, so to speak; Rey had mentioned she was his go-to for most things mechanical or mathematical, so getting him on stolen car parts or money laundering was out… He knew then that she was their only hope of a solid case. 

One benefit of being friends with Rey first, was that he knew her well enough to know that asking her outright for information would go one of two ways; her pride would kick in and they’d have to go behind her back and hope for the best (he didn’t even want to know what the fallout of that might be) or she would gladly put her two cents in and actively help take Plutt down. 

He had a feeling her reaction would likely be the latter, but he didn’t want to take that chance; so, relying on her had quickly become his backup plan. 

That was why he had to get in touch with the Bang brothers (or at least Joe). They’d done jobs all over the county, for all kinds of criminal types and he needed to know if they’d ever had an insight into Plutt’s business. If they hadn’t, then at least they might know someone who did and he’d still have a chance of weeding out Plutt’s other interests.

Once he had something more concrete, he could take it to Rey, confirm it and take action accordingly. He knew it was one hell of an overstep but the thought of anyone being forced into serving someone else was utterly abhorrent. Even worse that it was Rey because he just had this weird, innate need to protect her and having to deal with the fact Plutt was likely abusing and most certainly blackmailing her, was killing him slowly. 

He was thankful he had Jimmy and Mellie to help him plan for the rest of the afternoon their little row behind them. Joe called him back sometime around three (that had been one hell of an interesting phone call) and turned up on his doorstep at four. 

Evidently, he’d had a few dealings with Plutt and wanted in, simply to get revenge for a cost dispute gone bad. He wasted no time listing things Plutt had stakes in while somehow managing to make both Jimmy and Clyde uncomfortable with the way he was eyeing their sister. 

Clearly, their breakup wasn’t a done deal with the way she was looking back. It made both brothers want to retch. Clyde more so because he’d had to deal with it after the speedway heist when Jimmy had gone radio silent; he’d accidentally wandered in on things that made him want to open his skull and pour bleach on his brain. Unfortunately, he was too busy using said bleach on every surface in his office and didn’t have enough for himself. 

Joe rattled off a varied list of crimes; A few arson cases for insurance payouts (that’s where he’d come in), forging documents, drag racing (obviously), the chop shop (wasn’t a felony if you could prove you weren’t involved), supplying drugs and weapons; not to mention the fact he was conning the state into thinking he was a fit foster carer; only to rope those kids into his business, he knew how Rey was being used but she was relatively alright compared to the kids who had come before her, she’d remained useful and Plutt had spared her the worst of it, according to Joe… The list went on and it became clear to Clyde that Plutt was either attempting to give the Hutts competition or were an annexe of their little syndicate.

According to Joe, there were only two ways they could make Plutt really hurt, take away his workers or mess with his business. The first obviously wasn’t an option, so, much to the Logan family’s surprise, Joe volunteered to be the man on the inside. 

He’d go in, use Plutt’s greed against him, get him involved in a job and leave him holding the bag. Fairly straightforward really. 

And, they had a pretty good idea of how they might entice their prey. Mellie was all too happy to mess with Bobbi-Jo’s current husband; Turned out his business was more lucrative than he realised…and he’d get the cars back eventually if not, what was insurance for?

oOo

By the time everyone had cleared out they had a pretty solid plan and Clyde found that his house seemed awfully quiet now. For the first time that day he had time to himself to think and breathe. It felt like the day had gone on forever and it was only just getting close to opening time.

Thankfully he wasn’t one of those fussy types; well, where it could be avoided. Safe at home, he threw his hair up in a bun with a trick he and Mellie had devised, while he went about cleaning up a little, before changing and heading to the bar completely forgetting he hadn’t taken it out. 

During that time, he debriefed himself on his morning with Rey and the fact that Jimmy was more serious with Sylvia than he’d let on (Clyde had been left with the impression they were just having a bit of fun and he intended to grill his brother on that later), that Mellie hadn’t lied when she said she didn’t have to meddle between him and Rey and finally, he began psyching himself out of his already building nerves regarding Plutt. The part after the plan but before the job had always bothered him the most. 

By the time he pulled up, he was far too lost in thought to notice her car over the other side of the lot. Still trying to get a handle on what had been an overwhelming day, to say the least, he sank into his seat and pressed the back of his head into the top of it, shutting his eyes tight as though he could block his thoughts in doing so. 

After a moment or two, he got out and headed inside. He still hadn’t noticed her. 

He started setting up, losing himself in the routine and after moving a few things around out back and looking over his books a while, he was looking sufficiently mussed, his hair back up and off his face and his shirt hanging over a barstool; he wasn’t expecting company just yet. 

The sharp rap of knuckles against glass made him jump (almost high enough to hit his head on the bar from where he was crouched). The second he saw who it was through the somewhat dusty window, his heart kept beating a million miles, for an entirely different reason. 

She stepped away from the door looking like she wasn’t sure if she should apologise or laugh, clearly able to tell she’d caught him unawares by the way he had shot up, she was smart enough to know that scaring someone with an anxiety disorder was a bad idea. He was still trying to catch his breath as he crossed the open space unlocked the door and pulled her into a tight hug. Looking down at her, he tried to hold back a smile as his nerves calmed, he wanted to tease her, but honestly, he was just that glad to see her, he couldn’t be bothered coming up with anything witter than what ended up escaping his brain and exiting his mouth.

“You’re taking the whole ‘bein’ the death of me thing kinda seriously after a day ain’tcha?”

He wondered for a moment why she had found that so amusing, her grin even wider than it had been; then she smoothed a few loose strands of hair and he realised. He felt his face begin to burn with a blush and he couldn’t quite make out the look on her face. 

“Now I know why you keep your hair down, when you’re embarrassed your ears go pink.”

He let her go and began to reach up in an attempt to brush her fingers away and hide the slightly disproportionate feature. Instead, she stopped him and decided kissing him senseless was a better use of time. He didn't have a chance to feel self-conscious after that.

Maybe it was strange to feel like he hadn’t seen her in weeks when it had been an afternoon, but he figured that he was allowed to feel that way all things considered. After hearing what Mellie had to say, it was taking everything he had to stop himself voicing all those little adoring thoughts, just so he could be sure she knew how wrong she had been to think he didn’t want her. 

For a brief moment, he found himself looking forward to a day where he might explain all that and realised that he could be happy, right now with what he had because it meant that there might be a ‘one day’ for them both.

She was holding onto him tight enough to convince him she was aware of at least some of what he felt for her but for some reason, it felt off, but when he returned the gesture he noticed she wasn’t breathing like she was trying to give herself space while remaining in his grasp. Deciding to ignore it (sometimes his instincts were off and he didn’t want to press her), he tilted her chin up, hoping to capture her lips with his own again when he noticed the faintest red outline on her cheek. She wasn’t blushing enough t-…

He gently started to turn her head and felt her resist. He didn’t try to hold her still or force her, pulling back instead. Reality hit him like a cold bucket of water. He could see the half-faded welt on her cheek, and the makeup she’d used to cover the redness. He understood why she didn’t feel like she was breathing; he’d been hurting her… Did she think he wouldn’t notice? 

Didn’t matter who she was, if he saw any woman with a fucking handprint on her face, he’d either drop the bastard himself or make sure someone went out and took care of it. The thought that Rey might not let him help keep her safe made his lungs constrict; he needed to take care of this and he needed her on side; he didn’t want to seem like a possessive asshole, but he couldn’t just let this happen under his nose. It was exactly why he’d consulted Joe and his family; he couldn’t stand the thought of letting someone like Plutt get away with abusing the supposed power he held over Rey (or anyone else for that matter). 

His thoughts were churning and his emotions were running rampant (was that the wrong way around? Who knew) he was descending into a combination of rage and panic that was decimating his rationality and his restraint. He was shocked to find himself literally sinking under the weight of his guilt. But instead of reaching the floor, she was holding him up and when he found his strength again, she took his hand firmly in her own, their fingers laced and her thumb massaging small circles into the flesh between his thumb and forefinger. It was just enough to ground him. Then he saw the fresh bruises on her wrist and was right back at square one… Only this time, he didn’t pull away. He knew she felt him tense, his anger flowing freely through him, burning his veins and clouding his thinking to the point of being unable to speak.

“It’s fine Clyde, it wasn’t over the money. I got away with that.”

“H-how can y’even say-?! _That_ is the furthest thing from fine Rey. You have a God damn handprint on your face. I know how hard y’have t’hit a person to make a mark that lasts like that…”

“Okay maybe fine was a poor word choice. But really it was my fault.”

Clyde had to resist the urge to scoff at her comment. Her fault? No matter what happened she didn’t deserve to be struck like that. He didn’t want to argue with her about it, realising this was her normal; do something wrong, take a hit for it. He felt sick. He needed to be there for her, she didn’t need his anger, right now- well he didn’t know what she needed but it wasn’t that. 

She could see he was quickly losing the battle within himself and he saw the mixed look of fear and concern on her face. He instantly backed off; he hadn’t wanted to make her feel afraid of him. It was almost physically painful to get his emotions back down to a simmer, he needed to control himself if there was any hope of her continuing to trust him. It didn’t stop the low and dangerous tone creeping into his voice as he tried to find out more. 

“Are y'alright?”

He watched her carefully as she prepared to speak. he knew it was a little deceptive, but he was searching for her tell. He’d watched her lie to people every second night for the past three months, he knew them all.

Just before she opened her mouth she blinked twice in rapid succession and he knew she was going to attempt to lie.

“I’m fine; It’s not that bad, he didn’t really manage to-”

He cut her off; it turned out he couldn’t stand listening to her try to make this sound better. She seemed to catch that, and he could see her demeanour shift as she started with the truth

“I forgot he had a meeting, the Hutts turned up and Plutt was drunk off his ass. He blamed me. But I swear It’s not that bad, he couldn’t even manage a closed fist, he just threw me around a little. It’s nothing.”

That murder one charge was starting to sound more appealing by the minute. Needing to keep himself where he was, rather than going off to do something stupid, he gingerly pulled her closer and wrapped his arms loosely around her, not wanting to cause her any pain but knowing that she would bring him back to earth. 

The only thing on his agenda was to keep holding her until he felt like he could function in the wake of her obvious summation of events. He didn’t see her as less, but it was hard to look at her and know that there was nothing he could have done, that he’d failed this time. As she said; it wasn’t over the money but that didn’t mean it should have happened. 

He quickly realised the worst part of gaining such knowledge was how hard it was going to be not to change things. Rule number one; stick to the strategy. There were plenty of band-aid fixes for the situation, but he knew they couldn’t mess with the process or risk tipping Plutt off… Well maybe he’d mess with it a little; he wouldn’t be human if he didn’t want to exact a pound of flesh… Actually, it wasn’t his to take, but he would sure as hell step back and let Rey take it if she wanted.

That thought seemed to be the catalyst for him regaining control and he was able to think more clearly. She seemed to relax as he did and again he was met with a wave of guilt. He needed to stay above his emotions for her sake, he couldn’t keep reacting and slowing down the process. 

She let him go when he stepped back and he saw the vulnerability in her posture and expression. For a brief moment, he wondered why life had to be so imperfect, so cruel to the good. He’d wither away if he wasted time wondering. 

He sat her down in a booth, pressed a kiss to her forehead and went to call Mellie. She’d have a better idea what to do; always the level-headed calculated one.

When he was done, he brought over a glass of Rey’s 'bad day whiskey' and a glass of water, prompting her to choose. In a way, he was kind of glad she took the water. 

“You wanna tell me the rest?”

She nodded mid-sip and he let her start in her own time. This time, he kept himself compartmentalised as he took in the information she provided. Worried Clyde on the left and clinical on the right. 

He’d always had a talent for separating himself, he’d lived rather a long time that way, it meant that now he had the ability to seamlessly use both sides depending on the situation. He knew when to offer sympathy and when to let his clinical side reign him in. 

When she was done he understood her defence; it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He hated that she had to throw in a reassurance that it wasn’t his fault; he simply responded that it wasn’t hers either. 

After sitting in silence for a few beats, the atmosphere heavy she broke the tension. 

“Hey Clyde, you think we can forget about all this for a bit. I mean I just want to be happy to see you like normal people.”

He honestly couldn’t deny her anything and stopped himself arguing that they were normal. He nodded, and she switched sides to sit beside him the same way she had in the diner. It was strange to think that had only happened the night before, it didn’t feel like a night and a day, it felt like his whole life.

oOo

That was how Mellie found them half an hour later. Rey was asleep on his shoulder and he was caught watching her.

He held a finger to his lips and Mellie crept over, standing closer she mouthed ‘what happened’ and Clyde gestured to the pink outline of Plutt’s hand on her exposed cheek. He watched as Mellie turned tail and walked back out the way she came; he heard a bottle smash, then another, and a third before she came back inside, swiping at her watery eyes. 

She sat down across from them and he rolled his shoulder to stir Rey. She looked up at him with one of those radiant half smiles and started an apology before noticing Mellie. Looking across the table at her he couldn’t see any verifiable trace of concern as she spoke. 

“I guess you know?”

Mellie looked a little lost for words but managed a confirmation. She shot Clyde a desperate look and he inclined his head to let her know it was alright to say what she wanted, knowing it was likely to be directed at him anyway. 

“Clyde you ain’t waiting until Moody goes on vacation. We’re getting her out now.”

“Pardon?”

“Rey honey, please take the hand that’s bein offered t’ya. We think we might have a way to get rid of Plutt without you goin’ down with him, but if we’re gonna do it sooner rather than later I need you t’help.”

“You thought of a way to get _rid_ of him? Clyde what the-! Mellie! You could all go to jail!”

“Not like that! I swear, just hear her out Rey.”

She looked up at him with an expression he’d never really seen cross her features. It was hard to describe; intense anger combined with determination and concern with a touch of awe or maybe appreciation thrown in. Mellie started to explain the plan and he watched as Rey began to see that it might just work. 

Mellie was halfway through talking about back up plans when Rey stopped her. Mellie had been discussing getting him on ties to other criminal organisations when Rey burst out laughing. Not a reaction either sibling had expected. 

It took him a moment to believe what he was seeing and a pinch to make sure he wasn’t dreaming when she started going on about fate and destiny, and how all this happening had to be providence. She looked positively elated. 

“You’re all geniuses! The car thing is perfect really! Plutt has been trying to find an in with the Hutts for years now, I messed up his chance today but it’s exactly the kind of job they’d go for. There’s no risk for the Hutts but they still get a cut. Plutt has to store the cars until the heat is off and then sell them, it’d be so easy to get caught. And if I take the idea to Plutt, I’ll be in the black for god knows how long! We all know that if I don’t keep on like nothing’s wrong, he’ll know something’s up… So, I tell him about the dealership job, tell him to let the Hutts in, which fixes the mistake I paid for today and we go from there; both barrels. He gets gang-related charges, theft and whatever else the cops manage to find. If it goes bad; I change my stripes to spots and get myself a deal; it'd be a first-time offence, as an adult anyway and blackmail; It’d be a shock if I got time.”

Evidently, she had managed to solve two of their main issues in one fell swoop; how to keep her safe and how to make sure Plutt couldn’t weasel his way out. If they managed to pull it off; Plutt would be caught brokering a deal with known gang members, in possession of a bunch of stolen cars, preparing to rebirth them (proving he was running the chop shop). If the cops happened to stumble on say a ledger or something else while they investigated…Well then...

He was cut off by the insistent press of Rey’s lips against his own. He didn’t really have time to feel shocked or embarrassed she was kissing him in front of his sister... At least he wasn’t embarrassed until she suggested they get a room. Rey pulled away leaving a final brief kiss in her wake and it seemed to settle the three of them enough to go back to humour. 

“Mellie, I had t’watch you put your tongue down Joe bang’s throat and never said a word. Don’t you start with me.” 

She rolled her eyes and suggested he keep the PDA to a minimum until after she had a few drinks. They sat for a while making small talk, passing the time and trying to snatch back a sense of normalcy before Mellie sent him off to finish opening up.

oOo

Rey watched Clyde go feeling significantly better than she had waiting in her car. She knew it was sort of weird, but she hadn’t known what to do after deciding to see him. She supposed in hindsight it was rather silly to think he wouldn’t notice the lingering red mark on her face; she thought she’d covered it up, but it seemed she was betrayed by the light blush that accompanied seeing him, further reddening the mark.

All the while she was still processing the fact that in a matter of hours he had started on some kind of rescue. Did it offend her sense of independence or pride? 

Absolutely not. 

There were some gestures that simply couldn’t be taken the wrong way. It worried her that he had seemed tentative to tell her. She assumed he was once again worried about saying the wrong thing and she decided that it would be her mission to make sure he was aware she was taking the fact he’d made plans to help her out from under Plutt’s scrap heap for what they were; an act of care and kindness. 

He was willing to risk his own freedom and that of his family to set up her boss and gain her freedom. It was something she would never have had the means to do on her own, it was inspired to say the least. She’d been with Plutt long enough to know that she lived her life ignoring and denying how bad things were, to the point of thinking it was a life she could continue living if she kept her head down and did what she was told. 

Perhaps in a way it was twisted, but the look on Clyde and Mellie’s faces, the protective fire lit in them on her behalf was comforting; especially to a person who hadn’t felt worth loving in years. Though she hated the thought of being a burden to anyone, she understood that it was equally as important to them to make sure she was safe and rather disrespectful to chastise them for genuinely offering to help her. It wasn’t just that she was on their conscience, they had to truly care to want to put their necks out for her in such a way. Her eyes watered at the thought and she blinked away the evidence of her building emotions. 

Seeing Mellie react had also proved that it wasn’t just that Clyde had an interest in her that his family accepted her; Mellie took care of her own and had said so many times in passing; Rey hadn’t realised that Clyde had nothing to do with her being included in that headcount until now. She had been all but convinced that it was too soon for anyone to make their mind up about another so soon (even if she had accepted Mellie and Jimmy as family, the same way she had Finn and Poe in the same amount of time).

Eventually, she ceased her introspection and turned her attention back to Mellie who was looking at her… Well, she wasn’t sure what that look was, but she didn’t really want to find out. 

“So, he made a move huh?”

Right, this was something girls did… But what was she supposed to say? 

“Mellie I’m not under any kind of impression that he hasn’t told you what happened...”

“Actually he hasn’t told me anything; said it was up t’you ta tell me. But any halfwit could see you lookin' at each other like snacks, y'all're perfect for one another. All I wanna know, is if you know that?”

“And it’s not weird that it’s your brother we’re talking about?”

“Honey, I may not want all the details, for good reason; but y’are my friend and I wanna hear about what makes you happy. Besides y’look like y’could use some distractin’, somethin’ tells me you’ve been on a twenty-four-hour emotional rollercoaster from hell.”

“Alright; but if I say something stupid we pretend like it never happened.”

“You got it.”

There were a few beats of awkward silence before;

“…I still don’t know what to say?”

Mellie slapped a palm to her forehead while she tried to hide her smile behind her faux annoyance.

“I swear you two are peas in a pod, he doesn’t go for this kind’a talk either.”

“Right on both counts… Anyways; this is a little off topic, but when you and Clyde were going through the plan, you mentioned the Bang brothers? How exactly are Fish and Sam going to be any help? I mean Joe sure, I’ve heard what he can do; but the other two have been around Plutt’s before and I wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them.”

“Oh, good, you know ‘em. Y’got a point there… Joe will usually keep them around to make sure his interests are taken care of but seein' as he’s doin’ this job for the fun of it, I might be able to convince him to leave ‘em out. They really ain’t going to serve any other purpose than standin’ around lookin’ dumb anyway, but Clyde added ‘em t’the list cause they’re usually a package deal.”

“Huh, only that when Joe dealt with Plutt last, he was on his own… Never mind...”

“You know we’re going to get you outta there, right? I mean, I can’t believe he laid a finger on you and you can’t even go to the cops or… Rey, I’m real sorry y’gotta go through all this.”

“I think for the first time I can actually tell someone I’m mostly fine and mean it. You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault; I’m starting to see it’s not mine either. Its fucked up, but I’ll get through it just fine. It took meeting all of you to show me how sad of an existence it was, how isolated I’d become thinking I needed to be ashamed… Now come on, Jimmy will be here soon, and you don’t want to miss Clyde and I messing with him.”

“Yep, you’re right, I don’t wanna miss that; let’s go.”

oOo

In a way, Clyde was glad Mellie had sent him off to finish setting up. He could observe from afar. Rey looked far more relaxed and happier than what he’d expected. Not that he’d been envisioning her flying completely off the handle; he just figured she’d argue or fight him on it.

He supposed it did make sense she wanted in, but he had been expecting her to be… Well, maybe he needed to worry less about what he’d expected and more about the fact that they had a plan and had time to execute it, considering Rey’s additions would certainly appease Plutt and hopefully keep his hands off her.

He’d hated that she was right about staying home and working, as usual, to make sure Plutt didn’t get suspicious, but there was still a month before Moody left on vacation and the last thing he wanted was to see her with something worse than a light welt. Just to reiterate; he really, _really_ hated that she was right.

oOo

Jimmy turned up not long after opening, trailing in behind Earl and a couple of other regulars. Mellie took him aside before he saw Rey (who kept catching his eye the only difference was, now every time they caught each other, they didn’t look away or pretend they hadn’t been looking in the first place).

Out of all the Logans, Jimmy had the hottest head and when he came storming out of Clyde’s office with pure murder in his eyes, he was thankful Mellie had been the one to talk to him; if he’d done it they would more than likely have left Mellie and Rey at the bar and done something colossally stupid; they tended to make things worse when acting as a combined force. The whole compartmentalisation thing meant Clyde was separated from his anger, for now (plus he had Rey to ground him, letting him find calm amongst the chaos). 

Still, the second he was alone he would be following Jimmy’s example and finding something to hit or break, from the sound of it Jimmy had decided against glass objects and was taking it out on a trash can (evidently the Logans were of the same mind).

Jimmy came back red-faced and no less tranquil. Before he could drag Clyde out back, he jerked his head at Mellie, a silent order to cover the bar and pulled Clyde along with him. Clyde could tell how well his brother was faring based on the fact he closed the door with a measured and controlled movement. He knew his brother was beyond gaining satisfaction from slamming it shut and that was a bad sign (but on the plus side he didn’t have to fix the door). 

“I listened to Mellie tryin’ t’calm me down, I wanna hear your thoughts before I talk t’Rey.”

“Y’don’t wanna hear my thoughts.”

“Clyde, I’m about two seconds from gettin’ in my truck and bringin’ her back his head! So, you either come with me or y’tell me what you plan on doing about this!”

“Y’might not like th’answer.”

“Don’t y-! she’s one of us, we protect our own!”

“Y’think I’m not trying t’do that?! Jimmy, you know better th’n anyone; Don’t. Change. The. Plan. She’s in on it, we’ve got a way to keep him happy until Moody leaves and make sure he goes down.”

“Clyde y’know that’s not good enough!”

He wasn’t sure when this became an argument but that’s how it felt. He’d had the exact same thoughts but had managed to set them aside in favour of focusing on Rey. It was far more tedious to justify his reasoning when every fibre of his being wanted to give in to Jimmy and ignore his rational thinking; but he understood why Jimmy was struggling with it. He had Sadie and they both looked out for Mellie. As much as Clyde had taken on the level-headed role, Jimmy had always been the family protector, it made sense to Clyde that he would defend Rey so passionately because really, he was barely restraining himself as it was, but Jimmy; he was used to jumping in no questions asked.

“If we get her out now she’ll be worse off; she knows his business, she’s valuable to him, he’s not going to let her walk away. We have t’stick t’the plan, a restraining order ain’t gonna protect her. We can’t just go chargin’ in.”

“It’s not right t’let her go back there.”

“I know, I’ll think of somethin’, in the meantime, there’s nothin’ we can do.” 

Clyde walked out of his office. Leaving was best or he might say something to inflame the situation further. His eyes scanned the space for Rey’s familiar three buns, but she was nowhere to be found. He headed for Mellie and she didn’t wait for him to ask. 

“She went out t’her car, yes I tried ta stop her, ya don’t have ta worry though, she didn’t go nowhere… I’ll cover for ya.”

Her answer followed him out the door as he headed for the parking lot. He was relieved to find Rey’s car still in the lot. He was curious why she’d stayed. When he reached the driver’s side window he leant down and gently knocked. Letting her open up in her own time; literally and figuratively. 

She rolled down the window and he smiled at her frustrated expression when it stuck; choosing to give up and open the door instead. When she blushed, he couldn’t help but think ‘there she is.’

“You wanna tell me why you’re sittin’ out here with the engine runnin’?”

“I was going to go home?”

“Oh? Y’were?”

“Well yeah, I couldn’t help but hear the shouting, I don’t wanna be more trouble than I’m worth, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

She could have knocked him over with a feather. He very suddenly realised what it was like to be on the receiving end of his inferiority complex; Clearly they were not a case of opposites attracting, she had the whole ‘I don’t think I’m worth it’ thing in her head, same as he did, but she couldn’t be further from reality (he didn’t think for a second maybe he was in the same boat).

“Y’mind if I sit?”

She nodded, and he walked around the car before fitting himself into the passenger seat (it felt off to be on the other side but he ignored it). 

“Rey, what makes you think you aren’t worth it?”

“I come from nothing, I am nothing…I have no place in this story.”

“Not to me.”

It killed him to hear the blunt resolve in her statement. To know she believed it with all her being, there was no lie behind her eyes, no irony. It wasn’t fair; someone as kind and good as her left abandoned, forced to keep her trust and her heart behind stone walls, to the point of losing faith in her own importance. He’d sworn to himself to earn her secrets, that was a promise he was learning to carry the weight of the more she chose to reveal. He’d made his mind up, Mellie was covering for him…

“You know you’re gonna be here a while waiting for me t’leave, right?”

“Is everything you say going to be phrased as a question?”

“Why? Does it annoy you?” 

She rolled her eyes and he saw the barest hint of a smile reach her eyes. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest way to go about it or the most helpful (if she wasn’t for it he’d stop), but he was going to stay in her passenger seat asking her odd questions until she was either feeling more herself or he annoyed her. He leaned back in the seat, making it obvious he was settling in, certainly not going anywhere and got to work. His decided his gauge would be when she turned the engine off. It was less of an interrogation and more like prompting conversation. Topics ranging from her favourite type of weather, to books, her life before West Virginia, how he should go about fixing his neon signs and what she thought of people making tea in the microwave (he was attempting to joke with her, but she had almost seemed serious, warning him there was a special place in hell for people who did that). 

He’d picked up a lot of things seeing her every day. She had always treated him like someone she found easy to talk to; but, actually being able to ask question, after question, after question was in many ways a gift. There were things you couldn’t learn without asking; she didn’t seem to mind answering. He’d gotten so involved he hadn’t realised the sound of the car running had disappeared a long time ago. A little while after that they found themselves slipping into their usual routine of observing others and making comments. She had a similar talent for people watching, though his was, for the most part, a remnant of life always on the lookout, he enjoyed watching life happen when she was there with him in the bubble observers often created for themselves.

He’d had no intention of bringing up the afternoon’s events, the point being that her mind would be off it; so, he was caught off guard when she did. 

“It doesn’t make you look at me differently, does it? I just… I don’t want you to see me as some kind of helpless, injured bird you’re obligated to take care of.”

He wanted to give her more than words to help her understand, but there was nothing on earth that could come close to expressing just how he truly saw her; it almost made him want to argue with her, tell her every little thing that made her wrong, but if there was one thing he hated about all this, it was that he was constantly searching for the line. He wasn’t one to give up, he may not have much experience in such things, but he seemed to be doing okay anticipating what she needed from him, and he was happy to give it. He just had to hope he wasn’t making things worse. 

It got later and later, and he watched as she slowly came back to herself. From the outside, it might look odd (or perhaps not, they could easily just be a couple sobering up before driving home) he found that there was nothing he’d rather do than spend any amount of time with her when she was as unguarded as this. Sparing a glance at the time he couldn’t help the light-headedness that came with knowing she would have to go soon. 

"We didn't even get to tease Jimmy..."

"There's still time, I'm sure I could come up with some scandalous drink or other?"

"I'd like that."

He got out of her car, walked around and opened her door for her. Walking back hand in hand, he kept himself in the present, keeping his mind off what was to come, just focusing on her and the fact that the night wasn't over yet.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as ever, feel free to leave comments, feedback kudos etc. 
> 
> you are all amazing and have been so ridiculously supportive, it just keeps me going :) cheers 
> 
> till next time  
> xo Em


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok its been a while so I apologise in advance but i have gotten myself a few chapters ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FIRST DATE TIME! :) if you can't tell I'm hella excited about this happening; I'm also happy to report that proper smut is coming super soon, as in I've written it already :)

oOo

It was Wednesday. But it wasn’t just any Wednesday; this Wednesday was the quantifiable definition of their intentions. It was the first thought through his head upon waking. The best part was he knew that there was no way it would be a bust, between the two of them how could it be. Sure, it had a label and that made him nervous, but going on a proper date with Rey had to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

‘It’s Wednesday!’

Clyde was well aware he couldn’t stop mentioning what day it was, he was elated and excited but equally nervous and felt completely out of sorts. Breakfast had been a nightmare. He’d burnt his toast, put orange juice in his coffee instead of milk, then after making a fresh cup missed his mouth entirely, spilling it down his shirt (fortunately it was just a crappy old t-shirt); it was just shaping up to be one of those days and he was incredibly distracted. 

He tried to take his mind off things, running errands and dropping in to see Mellie. He didn’t even remember driving, he just arrived. His sister’s company didn’t help as much as he wished it would, then again, he was perhaps self-sabotaging; he didn’t really want to stop thinking about Rey or the fact they had a date in- oh god! Three hours… maybe the errands did help him lose track of time. 

Mellie was attempting to fuss over him and he had no shame using his niece as a human shield of sorts. He was betrayed the second Mellie tried coming at him with the scissors and managed to put some distance (a chair) between them.

“Clyde Logan! Y’have a date and y’need a haircut; Don’t. You. Dare try to hide behind that chair! Sit down Mr.”

“Who’s your date with Uncle Clyde?”

He was done for. Sadie was irrefutable and was going for a combination of puppy dog eyes, innocent excitement and inquiring mischief. 

“I’ve got a date with Rey.” 

Watching Sadie react to the news was a match meeting gasoline. She exploded, her happy squeals sounding through the salon at a pitch that was almost unbearable. Then came the interrogation and honestly his niece could rival the best the military had to offer. 

“Do you love her? Are you getting married!? Is she gonna be my aunt? *gasp* can I be a flower girl?!”

He looked at Mellie for help, but her Cheshire grin told him he was on his own; meanwhile, Sadie was continuing her questioning and he was worried that if she didn’t take another breath soon she might pass out. 

“…D’you know what you’re going to get? Cause I overheard Daddy say y’needed to get some and I didn’t know you got presents on dates?!”

Oh, He was going to kill Jimmy slowly and painfully for that one. Eventually, he managed to stop imagining ways to kill his brother and answer her slew of inquiries. But how on earth do you explain to a kid that you love someone but it’s not appropriate to love them the way you do so soon? In short, he improvised. 

“I- um… I have a crush on Rey, and she likes me too, so we’re spendin’ time t’gether? ” 

Could he be any less articulate? And why did he make it sound like a question? 

“…We ain’t getting married, but if we do she would be your aunt because that’s just how it works and you’d have t’ask her ‘bout bein' a flower girl… uh- if it ever came to that.”

He took a deep breath before attempting to answer her other question and decided that the best way to deal with it was to go with it. Let her think that’s something adults did until she was old enough to figure out that it was a terribly constructed lie. So, he told her he had got Rey flowers and that he didn’t know what she was giving him and left it at that. 

He could see Mellie laughing while she cleaned up and he had half a mind to reprimand her. But before he could do anything Sadie was tugging him around to the front of the chair; she sat him down and started making suggestions to Mellie about how cool his hair would look if she cut it like Jake from her class. 

He didn’t know this Jake kid, but if Sadie thought he was cool then it had to be bad news, the second she said the words shaved and patterns in a sentence, he almost bolted. But he managed to cut a deal with her (pun fully intended). She could braid his hair to her heart’s content (Jimmy had said it was a phase and anyone with hair long enough to play with was fair game) while he waited, so long as he got to pick how Aunty Mel cut it when she was done with her client. Both girls were appeased, and he got to relax in the quiet that came after compromise. 

Sadie stood behind him while she worked pulling his hair to get him to drop his head back while chatting about her latest hobby; thankfully she had already been warned not to practice her tae kwon do in the shop. Some people found it annoying she liked to talk so much, that she questioned the world around her; Clyde found a kindred spirit in his little niece with her wide, curious eyes; he’d do anything for her, even if it meant he currently had about ten plaits and his ears were showing… It was not a good look for him. Thankfully Mellie wasn’t far off finishing up, though he did get a rather odd look from the old lady with her hair under the dryer. Mellie assured him it wasn’t disdain, but one of those ‘if I was 20 years younger’ looks, he’d had to suppress a shiver at the thought. 

Once the woman had left, Mellie shooed Sadie into the adjacent chair and slapped his hand away when he went to undo her work. 

“C’mon, at least let me do my job.”

“Hey, I’ve been through you doin’ your job, I was your favourite test dummy remember?”

“Yeah, I remember, but at least y’didn’t end up with frosted tips like Jimmy when that was the rage.”

He resisted the urge to shake his head at the memory while she had scissors in her hand; god he’d had teasing fodder for ages after that, fortunately, Mellie had preferred to cut his hair not dye it, so he definitely drew the long straw. 

“So, you pickin’ her up or are y’all meeting somewhere?”

“I’m meeting her at the bar and we’re gonna go fr’m there, I can’t exactly show up at Plutt’s without questions.”

“Oh yeah, of course. So, did you pack a blanket?”

“Yeah, I took your advice”

She paused for a moment and suggested Sadie ought to make sure her stuff was all packed for her Daddy to pick her up. Little ears didn’t need to be privy to whatever she had to say next.

“Y’know Joe’s comin’ in t’morrow night?”

“Yup, wonder how that’s gonna go with Rey?”

“Clyde, C’mon. It’ll be fine. She said she knew ‘em; besides its Rey, like she’s gonna have a problem handlin’ them.”

“I know you’re right but what if they say somethin’ t’her?”

“They just think it’s a Logan grudge, that’s all they need t’know. Plutt ain’t any kind of saint, they don’t mind helpin’ and Rey knows they have no idea why we’re doin’ this, so she’ll keep her mouth shut if need be.”

“Speaking of, you know those drag races he has her doin’?”

“Mhmm, Course.”

“Think you can find out where they are. I wanna make sure she’s ok while she’s there, but I don’t want her to know.”

“Clyde that’s sorta sneaky, but sure I’ll ask around.”

“Well, if she sees me I won’t lie, but I don’t want her there with no way of gettin’ away if the law turns up, I don’t trust Plutt t’help her.”

“If you’re goin’, I’m comin’ with you, you know that right.”

“Like you even had to ask?”

oOo

Rey was jittery for most of the day. Why she had no idea, but the past few days had been such a rollercoaster maybe it was a bit of residual stress causing her to feel on edge. On the plus side, the last two days had gone much more smoothly than any of them could have hoped. Rey had offered their plan to Plutt and he had been ecstatic to have an in with the Hutt’s.

She was off the hook and in his good books for the foreseeable future. As long as she kept her head down, there was no reason for him to turn his attention to her. She was already starting to collate evidence, in addition to memorising transactions, shipments and other dealings; in the event things turned sour she would hopefully have enough to give the police to earn immunity. 

If things went according to plan, the cars would be stolen, she would start the process of stripping one or two of them back and an anonymous tip would do the rest. She just had to make sure that she was out of the way once the call was made; and an alibi was easy to come by when there were numerous people happy to corroborate recent events. It helped that she didn’t have a flash cell phone and a habit of forgetting to charge it, GPS wasn’t going to be much use. It meant tracing her whereabouts would be difficult. 

As for the rest of her time with Plutt, duress was a pretty airtight defence. 

She wondered what would change once she had her freedom. Even if she did get time, it wouldn’t matter, she already knew Clyde would be the first person at the gate. She’d spoken to Finn and Poe after spending the night in her car with Clyde, working through her feelings and while she was still a pretty closed book, she found her courage; no longer avoiding details, she told them all about the Logans, her other friends from the bar, Earl and his sons, but most of all she talked about Clyde. She told them the truth about her feelings for him and let them gush over the fact she was clearly smitten. They talked her through her minor intimacy freak out and made suggestions on outfits and makeup (both were prompted into aww’s when she said that none of that mattered because he’d seen what she looked like after fixing cars all day and didn’t care what she looked like). They eventually managed to convince her that she had to wear a dress. 

When the conversation ended she could tell that they understood the significance of her open dialogue about her new friends; it was a baby step in the right direction toward honesty. That night she had slept better for it; if she could tell Clyde the truth, then she could find it within herself to tell her best friends too. She’d never realised how hard it was to come clean when there was such a deep underlying fear of being abandoned. Knowing that Clyde, Mellie and Jimmy would be there for her, no matter what happened with Poe and Finn, meant that she wasn’t as concerned about being left alone in the dirt again, she had people she could trust to fall back on. And it wasn’t so much that she couldn’t trust Poe and Finn; it was that if things didn’t go her way, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to pick up the pieces of her broken heart if she was completely on her own. That was the problem with being human, we all need someone. 

When she had spoken to them in the past she had always managed to stop the conversation from getting too personal; they weren’t stupid, they noticed. But out of respect for her they never brought it up, they just enjoyed what little of her company they could get. She hated doing that to them, but when you’re a self-hating criminal with an abusive foster father/ Boss, it’s relatively understandable that one might push their loved ones away. Quite the paradox though; lose them by your own hand or lose them because you couldn’t be honest, and they found out anyway. Well, she’d made a start on being truthful and she planned to keep it up.

oOo

She had an hour until she was due to meet Clyde at the bar. She’d showered; scrubbing until there wasn’t a trace of grease on her, dressed and double checked she was on track to meet this week’s quota; there was nothing to stop her leaving or having fun and if she happened upon Plutt… Well, her excuse for being dressed up was simply that one would catch more flies with honey.

She stood before her tarnished mirror and double checked her hair was in place, it was out of its usual three buns, two small braids keeping her freed locks off her face. As for her makeup, she had kept it painfully simple; she never bothered with foundation or eye makeup, but she did have a little bit of red lipstick on, to go with her dress. 

It was one of three nice dresses she owned, Maz had made them for her birthday last year and Rey loved them with all her heart, happy to finally have an occasion to take one out of her hiding place and wear it. The one she chose for their first date was a knee-length, light blue, floral number with pink roses, capped sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It was her favourite of the four and she would sometimes put it on simply to have the joy of twirling the generous A-line skirt around her bedroom. 

She slipped on a sensible pair of flats to complete her look and with a last check in the mirror, she found herself wondering how someone like him could see past the grime and still be happy with her. she supposed that had to be what love was. Even she had to admit she was scrappy, lacked feminine charm and more often than not smelled of the same noxious fumes from the workshop; but the girl she saw in the mirror was who he managed to see through all of that. It made her heart stutter and not that she had anything to prove, but she was excited about seeing his reaction. 

She had it bad. The worst part (or best depending on how she looked at it) was that after a taste of him, there was no going back to plain existing, not without knowing what the rest was like. Her imagination could supply some answers and it wasn’t as though she lacked knowledge on what or how to do, but she felt she would die if she didn’t find out soon. It wasn’t hard to talk herself into seeing how far things could go, her thoughts centered around stating facts; We both admitted to wanting one another from the start, we’re adults why should it matter which date it is, or if it’s a date at all? We could have done it the other day when I spent the night, I wanted to and I know he’s thought about it (that thought almost sent her into a tailspin). She decided that it was best to leave it up to chance and let it happen naturally. She wasn’t about to force it, where Clyde was concerned she had no fear. There was no pretence with him, he had walked into her shadows and instead of running had embraced them as he did his own. She’d never been more certain of anything, but it was all new to her; still, when it came time to leave she walked out confidence in her blood and decided to drop expectations in favour of choices. 

Running out the door, Plutt only managed to catch her for a second hardly able to get a word in to make sure she was on track, then she was off. She really was in his good books if he hadn’t put up a fight; the walk to her car gave her time to realise there was only one problem; she had planned for difficulty and was now ridiculously early. 

She sat in her car for a moment before deciding she was tempting fate staying at the junkyard. She drove aimlessly for a while, hoping to kill time. It gave her a bit of breathing room; but the second the clock on the dash read seven, she turned around and headed for the bar. 

‘It’s just a normal day, we’re hanging out, it's not going to be awkward.’ 

She pulled up fifteen minutes early and headed inside, his truck wasn’t there yet so maybe she could sneak a shot before her nerves managed to return; it’d be like changing the lock on her anxiety. 

Pulling on her best cool exterior she walked up to the bar and was immediately met by a gushing Mellie. ‘Good lord, I would have stayed in the car if I knew.’ She ran out and immediately inspected Rey’s meagre efforts. She fussed with her hair, fixed the way her dress was tied at the waist and just stopped short of pinching her cheeks to make them rosy. Rey felt more than a little under the microscope and was about ready to swat her way when she realised that Mellie was only doing it because she was invested and happy for her, not to make her feel inadequate; and that made her heart swell as Mellie babbled compliments. 

“Aw Honey, you’re perfect! Oh, and this dress! Twirl so I can look at’cha!”

She obliged and when Mellie pushed her to keep spinning, her nerves were replaced with a warm sense of sisterhood. After a few more spins she felt rather dizzy, Mellie grabbed her shoulders to stop and steady her before abruptly twisting her to face the door where her eyes landed on her unbearably adorable date. She practically melted on the spot and she smiled widely, unsure as to why she had been so worried. 

She wondered if Mellie felt it but before she had a chance to feel embarrassed over such an obvious reaction she walked over to Clyde practically on autopilot and wrapped her arms around him with a quietly squeaked ‘Hi’. So she held on a little too long, that was allowed and it gave her a giddy feeling deep in her chest when he stopped her pulling away and held her even tighter. 

He led her out of the bar, with a quick goodbye, throwing Mellie a smile and a wave. His hand was warm on the small of her back as they walked out to his truck and she was hyperaware of the contact. He stopped at the passenger side door but didn’t unlock it. She could practically see his thoughts milling about behind his eyes as he studied her, but the silence wasn’t exactly awkward, more weighted. 

“H-hi…”

She almost laughed at her breathless single word greeting, but it seemed to bring him back to reality. He smiled down at her and mimicked her with slightly more clarity and resolve. 

“Rey, y-y’look… Christ, I don’t have the words and you’re always beautiful so, that just feels like ‘n understatement, but I’m not sure if I’m just dreamin’ right now or if I died and went t’heaven.

She accepted his compliment with a shy smile and in the split second it took her to realise she probably needed to say something back, decided that she wasn’t about to waste a perfectly good opportunity to kiss him senseless. 

He clearly had the same idea and the painful bump that resulted from their ‘great minds think alike’ moment ended up being just as effective as an icebreaker; sending them into fits of laughter as they put the situation to rights, now in far less of a hurry.

Somehow, he managed to notice Jimmy pulling up and she swore it took all of three seconds for him to make it clear that she was his and he wasn’t about to have an audience, open her door and have the engine idling while she buckled up; even in a rush he was a gentleman. They were gone before Jimmy pulled into a space, laughing like idiots as they imagined what his brother would have said if he’d had the chance to catch them.

There was the classic ‘get a room’ and whatnot, but the moment Clyde started impersonating Jimmy at length, she was in stitches. He had Jimmy so spot on it was almost creepy.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Clyde, you’re in public! nobody wants t’see you put your tongue down her throat!”

“Hey! What’s to say I’m not the one with _my _tongue down your throat.”__

__He broke character and she could see him smile before responding._ _

__“Absolutely nothin’ sweetheart.”_ _

__Eventually, she managed to calm down enough to notice they were headed away from town. She didn’t bother to ask where they were going, whatever he had planned would be perfect, and even if it wasn’t, the fact that she was there with him would cancel it out._ _

__

____

oOo

It was a short drive, but Clyde could practically feel their emotions, palpable in the air around them; excitement, anticipation, curiosity maybe a little bit of lust (he’d loathed having to break off what was a rather enjoyable make out to escape his brother). A few minutes in he started bouncing his leg and she had placed a hand on his thigh to stop it— Okay maybe more than a little lust; he’d done his best not to react, but he caught her sly smile and knew he’d failed and passed all at once. Things like that and the fact she never shied away, filled a reservoir of boldness he didn’t know existed, so much so that he’d almost forgotten himself and had to bite back an involuntary request she go higher.

He didn’t want that idea coming off the bench so soon, it wasn’t that he had reservations; there was nothing really stopping him if he wanted to test the waters, it just wasn’t something he needed, he’d always respected women and it was important to him that she not feel she had to do more because he wanted to, starting something so early in the evening also might mean throwing off the dynamic completely; he knew in his heart that likely wouldn’t be the case, but the only way to be certain was to play it by feel rather than assumption. But on the other hand, she was very capable of making up his mind for him so, really it was all in her hands because where she was concerned he was always going to be a willing participant. 

When he pulled up at Drawdy falls, he opened her door for her again and grabbed his backpack and basket out of the back realising he had completely forgotten to give her the flowers; ‘later’ he decided. They walked the short trail and he had the pleasure of watching her explore in the fading sunlight. The last remnants of golden light danced across her skin, dappled through the foliage; she was a vision and he couldn’t quite believe she was real. 

He set their things near the stream and watched her flit about the area with wide excited eyes and a smile that made his heart stutter. What others might have taken as idle prattle he saw as confirmation that after all this time he wasn’t terrible at planning a date, and her animated ‘outside voice’ was adorable to boot.

Then again, maybe the game was rigged? Rey seemed to enjoy everything he liked, for the same reasons he did; often mentioning things with no knowledge of his thoughts. he watched her snap photos of the falls, collecting rocks she thought were interesting each time she moved to a new vantage point before cosying up to him and explaining what she saw in each one. Maybe it was sappy, but when she went to throw them back he stayed her hand and put them in his pocket for safekeeping.

When they both finally sat down, she used body heat as a thinly veiled excuse to sit between his knees, her back resting against him, she didn’t need the excuse. He didn’t experience the usual whirlwind of emotions when he realised it was the perfect position for him to wrap his arms around her; When he did, she pressed closer and he thanked God for her mere existence. He’d always found the way couples acted a little sickening, but if anyone saw the way she grabbed little pieces of fruit to pop in his mouth occasionally teasing him by eating it herself they would have felt the same; Clyde, on the other hand, hadn’t realised that doing cheesy things like that came with finding someone like Rey to do them with and he really didn’t care how it looked, he was just happy to be there in the moment with her. 

After separating to eat, she returned to sit beside him and clearly decided that leaning against him wasn’t cutting it. She curled around him, burying her face in his neck and honestly, he couldn’t resist the temptation; he could die happy kissing her. She tasted like wine, apple pie, and the setting sun if he could quantify that. He savoured the feeling of her hands pressed against his chest as she sought purchase to deepen the kiss. 

The sun went down and they had a little piece of the world all to themselves. They snacked, talked, and pointedly avoided all discussion of Plutt. The best way to lie on a picnic blanket was redefined; she was attached to him at the hip, leg slung over him, resting her head on his chest; both watching as the heavens came to life, a trillion points of light shining through the trees, brighter than they ever had for the two people thinking they were falling in love but unaware the other was already was. 

It was still fairly early when she fell asleep. He didn’t want to move for fear of waking her or having to let her go, she was warm, comfortable to hold and he wondered what it would be like to have her with him like this all the time. 

When she stirred, there was one question he had worked up the courage to ask while she had been unaware. 

“Stay with me again?”

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for commenting leaving kudos and reading, every notification I get in my inbox fans the flame of my inspiration and I appreciate it so much 
> 
> also cheers for sticking around through my short break, I procrastinated hard on a fest and spent the last week and a bit finishing it.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Alrighty, first of all, I am so sorry for the wait on this, I haven't forgotten you all and appreciate the comments that have been left in my absence, I am so sorry for saying it was coming, every time I thought it was, it just never seemed right leading me on to point two; making excuses
> 
> 2\. I am the first to admit that writing smut is not my forte, I like writing it but its a challenge. It takes me longer because I am a perfectionist through and through, I also find it difficult to shake off the feeling that I may come across overly clinical in describing things which leads to a lot of unnecessary flowery padding- going through and editing continued to reveal areas that needed rethinking or improvement- put simply I'm glad this one's posted and I can move on :) 
> 
> so as part of my apology, I offer up this wonderfully fluffy, awkward smutty interlude for your enjoyment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okey dokey kiddos- I hope none of you are kiddos, but for those who didn't get the gist of the summary; this is 6000 words of smut, ain't nothin' else happening in this chapter except Clyde introspecting, it's really just an interlude--- or should I say 'interlewd' 
> 
> (heh good lord I am so sorry you all had to read that god awful pun, but I couldn't not write it)

oOo

Inexplicably things had gotten a little heated in the cool night air. His request and her subsequent agreement had them both leaving the falls looking rather ravished. His hair was a certifiable mess, her delicate fingers wound into inky strands and at the same time wove into his heart more so than before. Even though he’d tried not to muss hers, she had a way of making him do the opposite of what he thought he was supposed to; maybe they both had a little bit of a thing about it, he was only just beginning to gather evidence to prove that particular hypothesis.

She stuck close by his side for the short walk back, both carrying odds and ends wishing their hands were free for other things; once they were, well; It wasn’t that much later he found himself driving both of them back to his place. He never thought he could hate the gap between seats more, the centre console felt like a chasm between them. His heart had been going a million miles the entire drive, something about the way she agreed to stay said more than he initially anticipated. There was an inevitable shift that had felt like a long time coming and he wasn’t objecting to the change, no matter how nerve-wracking it was. 

He parked and not wanting to waste time on inconsequential things, left everything behind except the initially forgotten flowers, which he gave to her before unlocking the door. She fussed over them and he found it both endearing and heartbreaking that she looked at them as though he’d dipped them in gold. There were so many things she deserved and never had, most things he couldn’t give her, rationally he knew that, but what he could give her was another matter entirely. 

It didn’t take long for anxiety to settle in once they were inside. Both of them awkwardly avoiding the tension building by occupying themselves with other things; a glass of water here, an awkward exchange there, that strange dance that happens when two people try to move out of one another’s path and end up blocking it again. It was wonderful and a complete nightmare; neither was particularly confident navigating the rough sea of nerves part and parcel with the inevitable storm that was about to hit, but both glad to be caught in its path anyway. 

When it finally did hit, it was nothing he could have expected. For once he got the best of himself; it had very little to do with plucking up courage and everything to do with not being able to stand another second not knowing; how the rest would feel with her, if she really wanted him the way he needed her, if, if, if…

All too suddenly his questions were answered. When she dragged him down into the pleasant abyss that came with kissing her, it was easy to ignore the flower petals tickling the back of his neck. He forgot she was still holding them when she pulled him closer, the stems poking him in the back a contrast to her softness as they began the journey to ruin or salvation.

If there was a heaven it would most definitely involve the way she nipped his bottom lip or tangled her fingers in his hair (yep, he definitely had a thing), seeking to pull him closer. His confidence grew with hers at a steady incline and then a steep learning curve as he figured her out. His brain gave up trying to fight off his pressing state of arousal the second she pressed harder against him, the change in sensation eliciting a ragged moan from deep within that made his cheeks and ears burn with shock and embarrassment, only to be soothed by her quiet hum of self-satisfaction before she deliberately rocked her hips.

It seemed that was going to be the end of self-control for the both of them. Frankly he hadn’t expected anything when he asked her to stay, nothing at all; He just couldn’t help being greedy when it came to spending time with her, as much as I loved seeing I most every day at the bar, the way she was with him when they were alone was something else. There was no pretence for the sake of onlookers, no need to hide or suppress emotions when they were alone together. 

He would have been lying if he didn’t at least admit to himself that asking her was less about wanting her to stay and more about needing her, in any capacity, the same way he needed oxygen, just her presence was enough. Everything else that happened outside of being in the same space as she was more than he could have ever asked for. If he’d been the type to believe in wishing on stars, he wouldn’t have even known how to ask for her and he definitely didn’t know how to describe how it truly felt to have her. What did he ever do to warrant having someone so wonderful and beautiful want him as much as he wanted her? He’d dwelled on it plenty since she walked into his bar and became part of his life, but at present, he wasn’t in much of a state to be resuming that line of thought. 

Right now, he was all too happy to follow her into oblivion. There had always been something there, building since the day they met and yet it didn’t feel as though things between them had bubbled over; it felt natural, as comfortable as breathing. There was no sense of blind lust or a hazy shroud of need that would lead to regret in the morning because they rushed things; it felt right.

Her flowers were hastily left on the benchtop and he didn’t miss the fact that she already knew where she was going, she had claimed him and seeing her so comfortable being in his space was… He didn’t have the words for what it was. Unwilling to release her, he turned, kicked his door open and they stumbled inside. Her hands were cool against his skin while she untucked his shirt and he flinched when she pressed them underneath his ribs. Pulling away from her for a moment, he let out a huff that was more humour than a warning, in response, she gently ran them up over his bare flesh; the difference in temperature causing a prickling sensation and goosebumps in the wake of her touch. 

“Rey?”

She pulled back and looked at him already anticipating his question. Neither of them had thought to fumble around for the light switch, but the faintest light managed to glint in her eyes revealing the heat and depth of her gaze; It caught him unawares, but he pressed her for an answer. 

“Y’don’t have t-”

“Clyde, _sweetheart_ , don’t over think it. I want to.”

She was right as per usual, teasing use of his favourite endearment aside, he was overthinking and for the first time in a long time, he had someone to pull him out of the tailspin. He wasn’t going to ruin it, he wasn’t going to let intrusive thoughts win; not his fear of disappointing her, his insecurities… None of it mattered with her and he would neither deny her nor be the reason she felt that he didn’t want to accept what she had to give. He had been waiting his whole life for someone to give himself to; who was he to turn away the person standing in front of him saying she wanted to do the same. 

So, he made it clear he wasn’t overthinking and for once in his damn life kept his mouth shut. Well not technically… 

Peppering light kisses down her throat and then following the neckline of her dress, he nibbled and sucked at delicate skin infused with sunlight. Focusing on her made it easier to let his anxiety go; he was clay in her hands, willing to be moulded to fit what she needed, she could have her way with him in every sense, he was hers. 

She tugged on his shirt, and he ducked down to help her get it off. There was a beat of awkwardness as both of them realised that wasn’t about to happen; he was wearing a button down as well as an undershirt and both burst into a fit of hysterics over getting him stuck in his own clothing. The nervous tension snapped and all of a sudden everything he’d been running from, barely escaping until now stood still, letting him pull ahead for the first time in years. 

Starting over, her slender fingers worked to undo the buttons and he tugged the tie of her dress loose. The second attempt at removing his shirt was successful; He used the small break to catch his breath before going right back to kissing her senseless, only for her to pause, push back and take a second look at him. His first thought was that he had done something wrong, or worse that she finally saw him the way he saw himself; only to find out it was rather the opposite. She slowly ran her hands down his shoulders and back up, settling underneath his clavicle, he wondered if she could tell his heart didn’t beat the way it used to, it kept the same rhythm, the same steady purpose with an entirely different reason.

“Jesus, Clyde! What the fuck? I mean, I get the whole tall and broad thing but you’re…”

She stopped, taking in his confused expression and her demeanour shifted to something akin to embarrassment and indignation while he struggled to process how wrong he’d been. Self-confidence had never been his forte, but he couldn’t help but believe her admittedly poorly articulated compliment. 

“You don’t know? I mean of course you _know_ , urgh, I’m so bad at this- I just never… You’re unfairly attractive with your clothes _on_ let alone all this.”

She gestured at him in a general sort of way, clearly flustered…What she was trying to say finally sank in. Her reaction hadn’t been what he thought it was, she was shy about appreciating him physically. He’d never really stopped to think about it before, naturally he focused on more negative aspects and sure, he was aware of how he looked, he just never really considered that it might draw a reaction. 

He wasn’t about to kill the mood with talk of insecurity or a general lack of self-awareness, she knew about it anyway, but he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that it gave him a spark of pride to know that she was affected by him. What followed her admission was a sweet sort of shock he’d never truly experienced before. 

She remained reserved and everything about her body language said there was something else; he braced for the ever-present ‘but’... She continued to surprise him; timidly asking if he wanted to leave his prosthetic on or not. He’d never had to consider preference before and he was left flailing for an answer in the wake of his second hasty misconception. 

She seemed to catch his distress like it was contagious and he scrambled to find the words to express what it meant to him that she asked before she freaked out. He quickly decided it was best to just be honest. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, but the best thing he could think to do was admit that he hadn’t been with anyone since he came home from Iraq and had no idea what the right answer was. 

He could see understanding flicker across her features, there was no pity behind it (though he did catch a strange note of what he thought might be possessiveness that fanned the prior prideful spark into a small flame). It was enough for him to know she could accept him either way, he decided then that he needed to accept himself. He answered her by removing it with practised ease, stepping away to place it in its usual spot on the dresser and this time he didn’t wait for an assessment or judgement, he just was. 

She was unwavering, her eyes didn’t flick down, continuing to hold his with an intense calming warmth. He knew the weight of his action wasn’t lost on her but there was nothing more reassuring than the fact that she didn’t question or inspect him like there was something wrong with him, she let him have the time he needed in his own head to process, anticipating his vulnerability and taking it in her stride. The only thing he could do was pour as much gratitude as he could into kissing her and pray she could feel it. 

She gave him a gentle hug, just enough pressure to make him step back, his knee hitting the bed; but she didn’t let him down (literally or metaphorically). 

Back within reach, she was giving as good as she got, mimicking his earlier ministrations; the thought of having a few hickeys tomorrow sent a new wave of arousal coursing through him bringing him back up to speed. He absently ran his fingers down the seam of her zipper and she shivered at the pressure. That was completely unexpected. 

“Off.”

His ears were sort of ringing and he wasn’t sure if he’d misheard, she’d said it so quietly; then she turned around and brushed her hair aside and he got the message, loud and clear.

“I want it off.”

Her low whisper sparked a tense feeling low in his abdomen. She held the bottom of her dress taught and not one to half-ass undressing the girl he was definitely in love with, he took her bared neck as an invitation. Fortunately, the zip didn’t catch, allowing him to keep his focus on kissing every inch of skin he discovered.

She held the front of her dress as it loosened and with only a slight tremble betraying his nerves, he pushed one side over, kissing along the curve of her shoulder, stopping when he reached her bra strap before repeating on the other side, leaving it up to her to drop the dress to the floor when she was ready. 

She turned to face him and slipped her arms out of the small sleeves, he could see the shyness creep in as she hesitated. He watched her build her courage in a matter of seconds and was unable to tear his eyes away when her dress fell. It was overwhelming seeing so much of her at once; her underwear was unmatched and practical, yet utterly perfect; perfect like everything else about her. 

He sucked in a sharp breath when she turned back and started to work his belt off. This girl never ceased to amaze him, and he resumed his explorations in turn, tracing the outline of her practical beige bra lightly, losing himself in how soft her skin was, how she sighed and pressed closer as he dipped lower, learning every curve and line, trailing down her side, over her hip... 

He hadn’t even realised that her hands had stilled, entranced by what he was seeing before him, it took a moment to figure out she was offering him the same courtesy; in his own time, it was sweet of her but he needed his jeans off yesterday for all the discomfort they were causing at this point. Far too absorbed in the sight of her, he barely registered her jovial comment that now they were even. He caught her glance down and he almost died when he tracked her line of sight, there was a flash of worry in her eyes and it was enough to startle him back to sanity. Fair enough, he wasn’t exactly small, but something about the way it lingered said that her unease ran deeper than that.

It was a bit of an awkward spot and he wasn’t quite sure what to about it. Fortunately, Rey provided a momentary distraction and he watched enthralled as she unhooked her bra, letting it join her dress and slid her underwear down her tanned legs. In all her bare glory, he didn’t think he’d ever seen anything more holy in his life, she glowed; the warm light from the hall met the cold radiance of the light coming through his window and she looked like something out of a dream. 

It was enough for him to see everything while admiring her silhouette and thankfully he was already sitting down, or he’d have fallen to his knees before this ethereal woman (probably would have done it if she had all her clothes on he mused absentmindedly). She stepped forward and stood between his knees and there was no resistance left in him. He skirted his hand up from behind her knee, trailing up the back of her thigh, just before he reached the curve of her rear; She flinched. 

It had been a relatively slow and steady seduction so far, but there was something about her expression paired with her reaction that pulled him out of the haze. A lingering thought snaked in and in a matter of seconds, he put the pieces together. 

Her soldier on attitude so quickly replaced with hesitation, the shy way she undressed, like she’d never let herself be so exposed, a whisper of a memory; she had said she’d never liked anyone the way she liked him and he finally understood the underlying message. 

“Rey? Have you done this before?”

Fortunately, she didn’t take his blunt question the wrong way; shyly admitting she’d never really gone further than ‘snogging’ as she called it. 

“I’m not a prude though, I mean I know the theory, I’ve just never… Well, you get the idea; I’m on the pill though, so you don’t have to worry about- um… I don’t mind if you want to…”

He didn’t know what to say, any attempt at a sentence died before he could put a voice to it, she looked ashamed; surely she didn’t think?

He was not having that! Not at all. 

Her bravado had faded so quickly for the simple fact that she was out of her depth. He should have known better; wracked with guilt and then relief, he thanked every saint he could name that he hadn’t lost his head. All this time he’d been letting her confidence be his guide, not communicating just letting it all happen and instead he’d accidentally put all the pressure on her. He was going to fix that as best he could. 

It felt strange to reassure her, he was terrified he’d come off as trying to convince or manipulate her and yet, once again the silent bond they seemed to share, the nuanced connection they had formed over the past few months ensured that she took his words for their true value. Its easy to say one thing and expect or mean another but his heart was never in such a place. 

In typical Rey fashion she was able to adapt quickly and before he knew it, was turning the tables on him yet again, her renewed eagerness lacking the forced daring, replaced with a curiosity and a need to learn that left him reeling. 

He gently pulled her down onto the bed, settling her in before he did anything else, ignoring his inner voice shaming him for making things awkward when they really weren’t. He didn’t have to ask her to trust him and in the sense that he meant it, she didn’t need to; he had made it clear that her limits would be obeyed. 

Moving to a slightly more comfortable spot, he planned his next movements carefully. Keeping most of his weight off her, he kissed her sweetly, tracing her bottom lip with his tongue. She opened for him and when he felt some of her tension release, he reluctantly pulled back to kiss his way across her cheek, along her jaw, down the column of her throat, over her sternum and left breast before taking the perfect rosy peak in his mouth, then trailing a line of kisses to the underside. He did his best not to smile at the breathy sigh that escaped her while he paid homage to her breasts. Caressing its twin with his hand he marvelled at the way her nipple hardened further under his touch and gave it the same particular attention as the other, before continuing his path down. 

“Can I?”

“Uh… you don’t need to.”

“Hm, that’s where you’re wrong.”

“But don’t most-”

“What was that y’said before? Don’t over think it? if y’don’t want me to I won’t, but God I want to.”

She nodded, and her entire body blushed.

He took it slow and accidentally ended up making a game out of kissing her everywhere but where she expected him to, it was a ploy to keep her just as she was now, relaxed and laughing; he had a giggling, slightly frustrated mess in his bed who was ridiculously ticklish at the crease of her knee, a fact he was all too happy to discover and exploit. 

“Clyde! Will you just-!”

When he finally worked his way back up only to pause, she sat up on her elbows and looked at him like she couldn’t decide between sassing him, kissing him or keeping him where he was. The latter won out and he could well and truly feel her true confidence returning; her next remark was devoid of teasing, she was rather direct in pointing out where she wanted him and he was all too happy to oblige. 

Hooking her legs over his shoulders with surprisingly little need for encouragement, he didn’t give her time to get in her head about it. Spurred on by her initial reaction, he took his time finding out what drove her mad, made her cry out his name or buck her hips and press against his mouth seeking more. 

She was divine in her passion. The more he gave the more she returned. She started off restrained, trying to hold herself back and very quickly figured out that he wanted her unafraid and unrestrained. Slowly he made her lose control until she was a writhing mess under his tongue. She didn’t lay idle, nor was she quiet and he loved her all the more for it, discovering that part of her and knowing he was the first to see her in such a state, satisfied some primal part of him that couldn’t help but hope he would be the only one to gain such knowledge. 

She had her hands firmly buried in his hair, not really applying pressure, her nails occasionally scraping his scalp when she writhed, she was using him as an anchor, like she would float away if she didn’t hold on for dear life; he was never cutting it after this. He could feel the tightness in her muscles while he continued to wind her up, he gently rubbed circles into her thigh; comforting and grounding her in the midst of everything else. 

“More, p-please.”

It was almost a surprise to hear her ask, stopping for a moment to clarify was as torturous for him as it was for her. He almost laughed at her inability to form a complete sentence, asking for his fingers inside her and then begging for his mouth again. How he had brought her to this was almost beyond his imagination.

There was no denying her, he was already addicted to the taste of her; never one to wax poetic about it before, now, he could fill a book with a million filthy, sweet ways to describe just how much he wanted to live with his head between her thighs. Swirling his tongue over her clit making her jolt causing adrenaline sear through his veins like ice, counteracting the heat seeping into his bones; and he was just beginning. After a moment or two, he slipped one finger inside, letting her adjust before taking her attempt to grind down on his hand as a request for another. Her broken gasp was undeniably adorable and when he finally gave her the friction she was craving he was rewarded with mewling moans that he hoped would echo around his mind forever. 

She was going to be the death of him that much was certain. He had never experienced the sheer level of arousal he did making Rey come undone for him, writhing and bucking against his hand chasing her release. If her half-formed endearments and sweet profanities were gasoline, the obscene sighs and moans she gifted him with were a match, struck and thrown to leave him burning for her more than he ever had for anyone in his life. He could feel each and every reaction, knew subconsciously where she needed him to reach and watched in awe as she arched off the bed when he found it.

She was close and he didn’t want it to be over; her orgasm seemed to creep up, surprising the both of them when she hit her peak. The way she whined his name was like being called back from the edge of the void, his attention re-focused, she drew each syllable out until she didn’t have the oxygen to continue. 

All the while he worked her through it, intending to drag it out until she had nothing left, lifting his eyes to watch her as she came down, he bore witness to her body taught and shuddering under the strain, in time with each pulse of her climax, slowly coming down, melting into his mattress. She was transcendent.

Her breathing gradually slowed and his ministrations became more languid, unwilling to stop but still taking her sensitivity into account. With one last little claiming kiss to her clit, her whole body twitched in response and with an exasperated little huff, he found himself dragged back up to her level and pulled into a messy somewhat frantic kiss, all the while trying not to crush her.

When he pulled away he finally managed a proper look at her; chest flushed and heaving, eyes blown wide, her hair a complete mess and the lightest sheen of sweat on her skin, she was the most alluring example of debauched he’d ever seen and God help him, he’d tried to ignore his own needs but the sight of her jumped his arousal to lightspeed and if anyone could appreciate such a cheesy reference it was Rey. 

She seemed to catch the slight shift and even though he was adamant about her not having to do more than she felt ready for, she was steadfast and candid about wanting to learn. He couldn’t find a trace of a lie when she said it would help ease her into it and he really couldn’t help being overjoyed when she first touched him. He could have cried at the sensation, the sheer relief she granted. 

He practically had to pick his jaw up off the floor when he caught her taking a moment to size him up. No one had ever looked at him the way she was now, something akin to adoration and determination; he refused to miss a moment. When she prodded him to lie back, he resisted, wanting to watch her.

Her hands, softer than his own and warmer than they had been before, started to stroke him tentatively and he bit back a moan. His breath hitched when her grip grew slightly more confident and firmer, then again when she ran her thumb over his flushed tip, her eyes intense and focused. 

Her ministrations lacked his usual rhythm but Christ, it was still more than working for him. He completely gave himself over to it, choosing to throw planning out the window and instead focus on what this incredible woman was doing to him.

“I-um, am I doing okay?”

She didn’t pause to let him speak and the sensation of her thumb tracing the vein on the underside of his cock was enough to derail his sentence completely.

“You’re doin’ fi— ohhfuuck.”

When he managed to stop staring at the back of his own eye sockets, he saw her smiling up at him and the look she gave him screamed achievement. 

“Perfect, you’re perfect.”

She instinctively sped up a little after that, and he felt like his nerve endings were on fire. A few more strokes and he was met with a new and utterly destructive sensation. She kissed her way up his shaft and he watched her tongue dart out to retrace where her lips had just been. He couldn’t stop the groan of appreciation when she took him in her mouth; he almost proposed then and there, the sight of her perfect pink lips wrapped around his length almost shorting out his filter.

‘Not the time Clyde!’ he berated himself.

Then she started experimenting and it was less like seeing stars and more like being sucked into a black hole, innuendo completely intended. Little things; like hollowing her cheeks, or swirling her tongue over his sensitive tip, using her hand to stimulate what her mouth couldn’t reach or doing something unassuming, like tying her hair up without stopping, pushed him that much closer to the edge. 

It did not bode well with little to no discussion about his impending orgasm. He did his best to form a coherent sentence and barely stopped himself whining when she stopped to answer. He wondered if she had any idea how badly she affected him. Her satisfied hum when he twitched in her mouth told him that she absolutely did. Adrenaline danced through his veins with the vibration and he shuddered. His hand catching on her cheek as he tried to last, wanting to show her in the smallest of ways that what she was doing wasn’t going unappreciated. 

All too suddenly he felt that familiar tension as he started to hit his peak. He managed to stammer out a warning and she merely hummed her acknowledgement, her eyes glimmering with mischief knowing that she was going to make him come. Christ, she didn’t flinch at all when he came in her mouth; harder than he could ever remember. He was pretty sure he was going to pass out, only just managing to keep his hold on consciousness while his release abated. 

Not caring about anything except showering her with praise and affection in the aftermath, he found himself reassuring her that if she was willing to do that for him, then he was not about to be concerned with kissing her after. Figuring out where she had picked up such nonsense was more than a little sobering but he managed to tamp down the flash of anger.

Instead, he held her just that little bit tighter, kissed her a little deeper, savouring her ardent return, unable stop himself smiling to the point that he had to pull away. She smiled back, and his world was enveloped by her light. 

“You know, that went better than I thought it would.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her to convey his amusement at her understatement and she barely held back her smirk. She burrowed in closer and he was glad she was already aware of the fact he needed a minute. They were an excellent example of a successful jump in the deep end that much was certain. She was no longer so hesitant, he was no longer nervous about her limits; having the chance to talk in between was a blessing, she had been very clear in outlining what she wanted and his body had made a valiant and slightly unsuccessful attempt at getting started.

He was surprised by the lack of awkwardness. Their interlude filled with small talk and light-hearted teasing; every doubt, question and insecurity seemed to dissolve in a snap, replaced with their usual banter.

It didn’t take long for them to work themselves up again. A touch here, a kiss there, a change in position and all of a sudden, she was straddling his hips and he couldn’t think past that. 

He could feel how slick she was when she ground against him, already as needy as he was, he flipped them and with a smirk, she pulled him down onto her. Turned out he didn’t need to be as concerned about hurting her as he’d thought; maybe her determination had something to do with it, he wasn’t sure. That wasn’t to say that they didn’t take it slow; But, keeping a close watch on her expressions he barely even noted discomfort. Bottoming out was truly something else; the sensation of her, warm, tight and wet paired with the intensity of her gaze was completely indescribable. 

Waiting for her to adjust, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her light floral scent while he mouthed at the join of her shoulder, a little mark already standing out against her skin when he pulled away. Her quiet contented hum prompted him into kissing her properly only for her to stop him dead by asking him to move. He did both, a mutual sigh caught between their lips. 

There was a small part of him that couldn’t quite believe he wasn’t dreaming or stuck in a coma; but, the rest of him knew there was no way he could dream up how good she felt, the little sounds she made, the way she kissed him hard and desperate like a reward for doing something to make her moan, those perfect rosy lips leaving an impression against his own that would surely last a lifetime, her voice soft and sweet when she whispered… 

“Harder”

Well, he might have dreamed that…

“Please, Clyde.”

She rose to meet him with ardent enthusiasm and he felt the sting of her nails raking down his back when he hit just the right spot deep inside her, setting a new pace was exactly what both needed. Each snap of his hips punctuated her sharp mewls of pleasure as he watched her begin to fall apart beneath him. Her small hand slipped between them to rub her clit and she jerked, her face showing nothing but relief at the added sensation. He was completely mesmerized by her expressions; her brows knitted together but not in anger, more focused than anything else, lips pressed firmly together when she had oxygen to spare, and her eyes; her vivid hazel eyes speaking for her, locked on to his own, it felt so intimate for a moment he wondered if she could hear his thoughts. 

Every tense of her muscles around him was maddening, her body arching and shuddering causing a chain reaction pulling him closer to the edge. Scrambling madly to be closer, her legs wrapped tight around him, he let himself press down on her just a little, bare skin sticking a little as though they had begun to dissolve into one another. 

When she finally came, the world could have ended and he wouldn’t have noticed, he followed her over the edge, her orgasm triggering his as she pulsed around him. Both reacting to one another her muscles would tighten around him and he would twitch yet again coming deep inside her. She rocked her hips gently, the perfect diminuendo transitioning them from aftershocks and into afterglow. 

It was in that place he realised emotion and physical expression no longer existed as separate concepts, the dam that had held the truth of his emotions back was woefully ineffective, unable to contain all that he had been holding back. 

It was there in his bed, having cleaned up, no longer tangled in his covers but rather in her limbs, on the cusp of sleep, that the three most important words he would ever say echoed around his small bedroom. He wasn’t shocked, ashamed or worried by them. He didn’t care about the timing, if it wasn’t ideal it no longer mattered, he needed to say it; With his past, her present, their combined anxiety and everything else they had to face with Plutt, the last thing he wanted was for her to have to suffer even a moment of doubt over how he felt in the wake of what they had just done. 

She didn’t stir, there was no excited outburst, no shock, no recoil; just the steady sound of her breathing before she said it back. 

“I love you too.”

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know it might be a little weird but please feel free to let me know how you found this chapter :) 
> 
> i prefer/try to keep things realistic and a little imperfect when writing these sorts of chapters, so feedback is really appreciated and really helps quell my nerves :)
> 
> okay now that I'm past this chapter, I have a bunch of stuff I've already written so the next few updates will be coming sooner rather than later now that I'm a little bit ahead. I've written past the writers block this chapter created and im really excited to get back to the plot :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for this taking so long... 
> 
> No warnings just fluff and slice of life stuff before I get stuck into what I am considering act 2- its the calm before the storm 
> 
> there's a few perspective shifts in this one and a little bit of a twist on the original bet :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After taking a considerable break to prevent burning myself out, I have returned with a new fluffy chapter. I had done quite a bit of work on this only to come to the conclusion that I was far from happy with it, so I have been reworking future chapters and I think I'm on the right track now. 
> 
> I never really had an update schedule but I will try to go back to a chapter each week :)   
> thanks for sticking with me

oOo

The next morning was the second time in as many days Rey woke up in an unfamiliar bed feeling like she belonged there. Comfortably warm, despite being in her underwear and mostly uncovered. (evidently, Clyde was a cover snatcher), she never felt less vulnerable. She was still half asleep, but it was enough to register how good it felt to let him in completely, to stop living in denial; his arm slung loosely over her body, holding her close against his chest was certainly what she would call a success.

All she wanted to do was curl closer. The touch shy girl who avoided people, refused to date, never made new friends and wasn’t honest with the ones she had, couldn’t get close enough to the kind, shy man she had fallen so hard for. How far she had come.

Rey couldn’t consider love a possession; but it was tangible, hers nonetheless and certainly wasn’t unrequited. It was a bit new and even that couldn’t really be considered a flaw, considering it was being tested already. If anything defined them it was 'give and take'; balance, where one pushed the other pulled to create an equilibrium, that was their true connection, right from the start it had been instinctive to remain steady on a knife’s edge. Once she knew his past and he knew hers, they seemed to unconsciously choose to rise above it. So far from oil and water, it wasn’t funny, their pasts and weaknesses meshed, stabilising rather than unbalancing. 

Strange that she never even managed to come close to derailing things; Having little experience in the first place, she had believed it was a matter of time before she spooked and ran or self-sabotaged. Both defence mechanisms that protected her from the pain of being left behind again; but somehow Clyde found a way to avoid awakening that in her. He let his actions make it clear that he would see her through self-destructing and chase her if she ran. For someone who spent most of their life as something lost, that was incredibly comforting. The second she had walked into his bar she had been found and every time since had felt like coming home. 

To know that he loved her was more than she ever could have asked. Part of her had always feared that maybe she wasn’t worth being loved, years of being told that she was nothing had sunk in; but she never had to wonder around him to the point that she had to stop herself being cliché and replying ‘I know’ when he said it.

Being needed and truly wanted was unfamiliar territory but she was smart enough to know sincerity when she saw it. That was why, all things considered, she found it so easy to say back, there was also a level of appreciation in returning the sentiment, she didn’t want to leave him wondering for a second. There was no need to fret over being sure or defining her feelings and there was nothing that could make her doubt his sincerity, so she figured ‘why not’. It felt like every conversation they had prior to her completing the exchange was just preamble; they were always going to end up right where they were, it complicated nothing. 

From an outsider’s point of view, it might have seemed like an impaired, rather poor decision; but Clyde was not the type to say something he didn’t mean, he was private but honest to a fault and somehow never unkind. To admit it at all meant that he had already worked out that he felt more than shallow attraction or plain lust. It spoke volumes that he decided to tell her, and her heart soared knowing it wasn’t an accident. To be told so intentionally she was loved was a feeling she couldn’t describe. 

Sex had ended up being a comma in the sentence of the evening; saying I love you, the full stop before the next sentence, which would become a paragraph and over time would grow into the tale of their budding relationship. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself, then again maybe not. When you know, sometimes you know. 

Leaving his place to head home gave her a surreal sense of loss, she hadn’t wanted to cut their time short, but it was better to remain cautious. While Plutt knew she often stayed out all night, he never said or did anything about it unless he caught her sneaking in. Both of them thought it would be prudent not to push her luck considering they intended to throw the man under the bus. 

Clyde had been more than understanding, if anything he had hurried her up, thwarting her plan to have a quickie on his benchtop. She found herself arguing with his logic, for the simple fact that his reason for not taking her up on the offer made her hotter under the collar than she had started out (the collar belonging to one of his plaid shirts which she had commandeered)

“As tempting as that sounds, I have every intention of taking my time with you for a little while, you deserve nothing less _sweetheart_ …”

There was very little her brain could provide in the way of clever retorts when it was occupied with the frankly obscene way he used ‘sweetheart’ against her. 

So, she settled for breakfast and curling up next to him at the table with a cup of tea; Then for rubbing small circles into his knee while he drove her back to her car and an exemplary snog against her driver’s side door, before she had to pull away and go back to life outside their bubble.

oOo

Rey didn’t get to be alone with Clyde for a week after their date. And oh how she teased him about wanting to take his time…

Between Plutt, his gang of miscreants and life finding new and spectacular ways to interrupt them every time they had a spare minute, it was just impossible for them to do much more than exist in the same space. 

Outwardly Clyde seemed to be faring far better, but as soon as he thought no one else could hear… well, she discovered that man had one hell of a filthy mouth. Then again, she should have known, he could be such a sweetheart and that saying ‘its always the quiet ones’ was never truer. She wasn’t afraid of his intensity though; she gave as good as she got. For example; whispering salacious things in his ear after Earl interrupted them making out in the parking lot again. Clyde had most certainly given her the tools to finish what they started.

She liked that she didn’t have to worry about his interest waning, he was explicitly clear about how much he needed her. What she found amusing was the fact that he covered both extremes, sometimes in the same sentence; often complimenting her, making her heart melt, then proceeding to detail what he was thinking about doing to her when he next had the chance; which made her melt in ‘other ways.’

Ignoring the frustration such comments caused, she even managed to surprise him once or twice with her own ideas. It became another game, like the drinks, seeing how far they could push one another knowing exactly where they would fall. Speaking of drinks, he was long past subtle suggestions.

He looked deliciously smug when he handed her a pink panty dropper later that week. She thought nothing of it, assuming it was just barely restrained laughter over the title, but when she got home and started to change she realised why that look was warranted. Either that fucker had a legendary stroke of intuition or, he somehow managed to see her underwear…. Either way, it had made for an interesting phone call in the dead of night.

oOo

It took two weeks for anyone else to figure out just what had changed between herself and Clyde… That was to say that Rey really wasn’t that good at whispering when she got excited about something. And of course, it was just her luck that someone overheard her when she decided to tease him over their first ‘platonic’ sleepover and lack of ‘sleepovers’ since.

She was behind the bar, sitting with her back to the door, not too long before opening. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time for him to actually follow through on his idea to drag her to his office and have his way with her (though she had every intention of taking him up on that soon). Seeing as he had done an excellent job making her blush when he described her riding him on his chair in great detail, she figured why not make him squirm. 

He was in the middle of setting up and had refused her offer to help, so she had time to think of a teasing way to bring it up. She decided to play it offhanded and schooled her features to hide her mirth;

“You know Clyde I’ve been thinking…”

“Mmh, what about?”

“… About how little time we’ve had this past week.”

“You ‘n’ me both, sweetheart.”

He went to step around her, but she was quick, hooking her finger in his belt to stop him. Pulling him to stand between her legs, she tried to keep her growing grin under control, anticipating his reaction to her next sentence. Tangling her fingers in the fine hair at the nape of his neck, she caught his eyes and continued, trying to keep her tone offhanded;

“And to think I wasted a perfectly good opportunity.”

He scoffed and then looked at her curiously, she knew she had him interested now. He was genuinely intrigued to know where she was going with her vague statements and she was going to fluster him for a change. She pulled him down a little and started kissing his neck, light little kisses that were the complete opposite of what she knew he liked (there was a good reason for him wearing collared shirts the past few days).

“Pretty sure I woulda noticed; getting’ you outta my head, let alone your clothes has been impossible.”

That was a prime example of what she had been talking about; one moment she was flattered he was thinking about her, the next she was stuck coping with knowing just how he was thinking, then she was too busy imagining dealing with his mock pout by biting that plush bottom lip and climbing him like a damn tree. Still, she managed to soldier on, she just didn’t happen to notice that they were no longer alone in the bar;

“I never said the opportunity was this week _sweetheart_ I’m regretting not joining in on what sounded like a very fun shower the first time I stayed over.”

She pulled back just in time to catch his reaction, the look on his face was priceless. She watched him recall and in a split second, his skin was a brilliant shade of scarlet, he choked on his breath and laughed nervously before freezing completely, his eyes focused on something over her shoulder …

She got the sense something was very wrong then, sure he would be a little embarrassed, she was expecting his cheeks to flush or the tips of his ears to go bright red; this was pure horror.

“Shower!? First time you? What?”

FUCK. Jimmy.

oOo

Clyde had never been so mortified in his life. Jimmy had always been the type to overshare but he couldn’t remember ever going further than stating he thought a girl was cute in front of his older brother; let alone admitting to getting off thinking about the girl sitting right in front of him. Frankly, he was still processing the fact that she wasn’t offended by it herself.

He’d been so consumed with wherever Rey was going with her little scheme (his girl was incapable of hiding anything), he completely missed his brother’s arrival. It was no surprise he had tunnel vision around her…

He was horrified for two reasons; first, and most obvious being that he didn’t want his brother to know a damn thing about his sex life, adults or no, it was just a line he didn’t cross. And he most certainly didn’t want to explain the little exchange he had just been privy to.

Second; they hadn’t discussed telling people just how well their first official date had really gone; Sure, Mellie and Jimmy knew that they were smitten, half the town did at this point; frankly it was a miracle Plutt didn’t, but then again, he rarely left his little compound so, law-abiding gossip tended not to reach him. Therefore, Clyde wasn’t about to elaborate without knowing she was okay with it first, no matter how much verbal teasing they did in the interim. 

It wasn’t that there needed to be an announcement per se, he would never be so crass, but the fact his family had keys to his house and a tendency to show up unannounced meant it would be unwise not to make it clear at some point. 

Rey however, did the opposite of what he expected. Over the last few months, he should have learned his assumptions about her were often wrong. She turned her head to look at Jimmy, looked back at him and started laughing. Both Logans stood there confused, watching Rey do an excellent impression of a witch.

The second Jimmy had made his presence known, Clyde had pointedly avoided looking at his brother, his embarrassment running as deep as he wished the floor was. It was a feat, considering Clyde was the one facing him. So, he flicked his eyes up, curious to know what Rey found so hilarious and discovered that Jimmy looked traumatized to the point of being almost catatonic. His eye was twitching and there was even a little vein popping out on his forehead.

A second later and Clyde couldn’t bring himself to care about his self-imposed humiliation, he was too busy laughing along with Rey. Eventually, Jimmy came to his senses and it was not what either of them was expecting. 

He’d only seen his brother stupidly happy a few times in his life (heard it once); Mellie and Sadie’s birthdays were a given, the day Bobbi-Jo accepted his proposal another, and he heard it the day he called to say he was being discharged from the hospital.

Jimmy was practically bouncing off the rafters, whooping and celebrating like a kid on Christmas. His behaviour only served to make them laugh harder… That was how Mellie found them, drying tear tracks on their faces, panting heavily and trying not to set the other off into another round of painful giggles. 

Jimmy’s antics stopped abruptly the second the door swung open, sticking with the Christmas analogy, it was the equivalent of getting caught opening presents early and Clyde knew his brother had no defence against Mellie’s questioning stare (he was one to talk, neither did he). 

“What in the name of Jesus H. Christ is goin’ on here?!”

Oh boy, they were in for it now. His brother was the first to break the silence.

“You won the bet!!!”

Clyde looked at Rey and made a point of covering his ears, she followed suit and they waited;

“What be-?”

Mellie’s scream of excitement was piercing, for a second there he was sure he’d have to replace every window and bottle in the place. She rushed Rey, pulling her down from where she was perched and he could feel his inner grouch starting to surface, wondering why his siblings were so excited about his sex life, then it hit him... 

Oh, he was going to kill Jimmy (Mellie was automatically forgiven on account of her little sister status). Right after he was done laughing about it because honestly there was nothing more ‘Logan’ than playing both sides for a profit.

oOo

Rey was wrapped in a painfully tight hug, he could tell, he’d been on the end of enough of them to know; Mellie had one hell of a death grip and Rey was struggling for air after a few seconds.

She glanced at him pleading silently for a little help, but there was nothing he could do except maybe try to make them feel guilty. Who was he kidding, this was Mellie and Jimmy. Still, he was curious as to what this bet entailed and fortunately, Mellie picked up on that before he even had to ask.

“Hey, don’t blame me for wantin’ t’get in on the action. You did it first.”

“Yeah but… ugh, fair point”

“Clyde, what’s she talking about? what did _you_ bet on?”

His whole body reacted to her question, like one great big Uh-oh. Adrenaline and dread filled him as he tried to decipher her expression, unable to tell if she was enraged or amused (or perhaps both?).

“We uh…umm…”

Jimmy decided to add his two cents worth then;

“Aw c’mon it’s not that bad; we bet on the first one to get a date with you. Casanova over here was never gonna go up ‘n talk t’you unless he thought he had competition, so I invented some.”

It was like a switch flicked off, she calmed almost immediately. His brother shot him a knowing smirk when he felt saw the tension break. 

“Oh-That’s… Jimmy that’s actually kind of sweet. Fucked up, but sweet.”

Clyde, no longer fearing for his bollocks (Rey said it and it stuck) or his life, took a step closer to Rey and wrapped his arm around her waist, bending slightly to whisper in her ear, he didn’t miss the way she placed a hand on his chest to balance and stretch up, every touch of hers was like a brand of warm golden light and he would always notice.

“Don’t worry, it was a good wager.”

“Oh really, and what did you get out of it?”

She really was perfect, not to mention pragmatic; asking in all seriousness about the stakes. Sometimes he wanted to kick himself for being a cliché, but he was being completely honest when he replied:

“I got you.”

Of course, that pesky tunnel vision made him forget his surroundings, so he suffered a minute or two of intense teasing over being so ridiculously cheesy before his brother lost interest and tried to sweet talk his way out of paying up.  
They re-entered reality half way through Jimmy’s opening argument and descended immediately into quiet snickering over his reasoning (even if it was a slight insult).

“… If y’hadn’t meddled, his finger would still be firmly up his ass…”

He couldn’t help the little snort of laughter that escaped when Rey interjected.

“Hey I resent that!”

Mellie shot Rey a look and she quickly surrendered, throwing her hands up to show she was staying out of it. Both decided it might be best to keep to the peanut gallery and sat back, watching the show along with the regulars who had begun to trickle in. 

“Oh please, as if either of ‘em was gonna keep it in their pants long enough fr’you to win the bet. You saw ‘em making out, it’s a surprise they made it out of the parking lot.”

He heard Rey confirm the truth of that statement under her breath and his heart stuttered happily.

“If y’hadnt’ve pushed them it still wouldn’t’ve happened!”

“And what about your meddlin’ Jimmy Logan? Usin’ Sadie, really? That’s low even for you.”

“You know Sadie has a mind’ve her own-”

 

The couple watched as the eldest and youngest Logan siblings descended into childish bickering. Earl was hanging out nearby and came over to strike up a conversation that was little more than a ruse to start commentating. Clyde prioritized saving his skin over a couple of amusing comments and left it to Rey and Earl while he did his job serving the group that had just walked into Logan Family fight night. 

After about ten minutes of circling each other, Jimmy was seconds away from having a pool cue rammed somewhere unpleasant; repeatedly suggesting Mellie Logan cheated at something was not a smart idea. He had yet to warn Rey about the dangers of playing board games with his family, thinking back on the great monopoly dust-up of ’04. 

The funny thing was he wasn’t too worried, Rey could hold her own and he realised, a week after he told her he loved her that she was already part of his family; come what may she would never cease to be a perfect fit.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew I finally got this update done :) if you liked it please leave me a comment, a little feedback or kudos, opening my inbox and seeing what you lovely people have to say is literally the best part of my day. 
> 
> again my apologies for taking so long and leaving you all hanging; mental health can be a real bitch and I needed to slow down a little in order to get back on track :)

**Author's Note:**

> no regular update schedule on this, I'm just posting it as it comes. 
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think.
> 
> Comments, Kudos and Feedback is always welcome and keeps me going :)


End file.
